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YummyGoddess
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Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: San Jose
Posts: 1
3 yr Member
Default Jun 13, 2019 at 11:47 AM
  #1
This is the first time that I have posted. I am the daughter of a very abusive Narcissist mother. Since I can remember, I have always been a huge disappointment to her. I tried for over 40 years to be somebody that she would at least tolerate since trying to make her love me wasn't really a possibility.

I finally decided to just stop trying. After 4 decades, I realized that she's the one with the issue and I need to just worry about myself.

So, now I'm 47 and just found out about 2 months ago that what I thought was a heart problem and old age, was, in fact, a uterus full of fibroid tumors. I call them my litter of vampire puppies. The eviction date for them is next month.

I live with a very irritating roommate. I also live in Silicon Valley and it is very expensive to live here. We have lived together for over 4 years. He is only in his mid-twenties and he is very immature and I feel like I'm re rearing someone else remedial child. (Which is sorta what I am doing).

Well, I am not getting the support that I need to prepare for surgery. He keeps making really stupid mistakes that take my time and energy away from saving money so that I can take off from work after surgery. He won't keep the house clean or cook or basically anything that an adult would do not only to take care of themselves much less to support someone who they claim they are about.

I'm running out of time. I can't get another roommate right now, but I don't know how to manage this difficulty either. Sorry if this is too much for some to deal with.

My main problem is, I actually helped this person finish college since his family would not emotionally support him and then I financially supported him for a few months after he graduated because his family thought that all they needed to do was help him financially until he graduated. So after graduation, the money stopped, because jobs come magically.

He even promised to help me finish my web development training to pay me back for all the help I gave him freely. This has yet to happen because he doesn't seem to be able to deal with responsibility. He will start forgetting to do chores or pay a bill or something that makes me have to save the day, which means I have to take my attention away from myself and deal with some fire he has caused.

In a nutshell, he still has the safety net of his family if he needs to move, but I do not. Now more then ever because I have to get these tumors removed, I'm loosing too much blood to survive this. My Hemoglobin was at a 6.8 its suppose to be at least 13.

So that's whats going on with me.
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Skeezyks

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Skeezyks
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Smile Jun 14, 2019 at 12:11 PM
  #2
Hello YummyGoddess: Thank you for sharing your circumstances here on PC. Best wishes for a successful outcome with regard to your upcoming surgery.

I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. Two forums that may be of interest to you, here on PC, would include the relationships forum & the health support forum. Here are links to these forums just in case you haven't already found them:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

https://psychcentralforums.com/health-support/

You may also find the women-focused support forum to be of interest:

https://psychcentralforums.com/women-focused-support/

I'm sorry I don't think there is much I can offer with regard to your roommate. He simply sounds like a very immature, dare I say irresponsible, young guy. And, ultimately, you can only change yourself. So, at some point, you may simply have to decide when you've had enough & what to do about it. Here's a link to an article by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. that (hopefully) may help to put this into perspective plus a link to an article that discusses how to let go when your partner refuses to change:

You Can Only Change Yourself

How to Let Go When Your Partner Refuses to Change | Happily Imperfect

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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