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HD7970GHZ
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HD7970GHZ "Primum Non Nocere"
 
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Heart Oct 10, 2019 at 01:24 AM
  #1
To the survivors out there,

You have survived and you have so much to share with the world. Your stories and experiences have the power to change and improve and prevent. You are so strong, even when you do not feel or believe it. Do not allow the disillusionment and the craziness of the world to utterly shatter your world and bring you to your knees. Rest in knowing that you are not alone, and know that even when the entire world seems dark and scary, that there are still good people out there doing the right thing.

You are all perfect examples of this.

Never give up.

We need you.


Thanks,
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Default Oct 10, 2019 at 01:57 AM
  #2
Thank you so much for your encouragement! It really helps!
 
 
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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 06:44 PM
  #3
Thank you HD

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nicoleflynn
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Default Oct 12, 2019 at 07:02 AM
  #4
Lovely post...thank you! My story in a nutshell. I survived and thrived: Grew up without a father, violent mother,poverty: No car, phone, refrigerator, tub or shower in a 120-year old tenement house where snow came in thru a crack in the wall. Molested by a neighbor...joined the army right out of high school (saved my life), married an abuser and got a divorce after 31 years of abuse, then a church who voted me out of membership, with my name up on a big screen, followed by the words, "Conduct Unbecoming a child of God." Called to a meeting of deacons (not allowed to have a woman with me) and asked, 'Are you still having sex with your ex?"! I fought the system for 19 months. My life story won a scholarship and I started school at 60 and am a Sophomore at 72! I have written two books, Poetry:Sanctuary of the Soul and my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph....from a child with no voice, to someone who speaks up against injustice; One of my passions is to speak about verbal abuse and I presented my paper, Society's Hidden Pandemic, Verbal Abuse, Precursor to Physical Violence and a Form of Biochemical Assault...at my State's Counseling Association As children we have no voice or choices quite often, but as adults we can choose to do and be who we want to be. I chose to stand up and talk back! xo to all overcomers!
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Default Oct 12, 2019 at 08:01 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by nicoleflynn View Post
Lovely post...thank you! My story in a nutshell. I survived and thrived: Grew up without a father, violent mother,poverty: No car, phone, refrigerator, tub or shower in a 120-year old tenement house where snow came in thru a crack in the wall. Molested by a neighbor...joined the army right out of high school (saved my life), married an abuser and got a divorce after 31 years of abuse, then a church who voted me out of membership, with my name up on a big screen, followed by the words, "Conduct Unbecoming a child of God." Called to a meeting of deacons (not allowed to have a woman with me) and asked, 'Are you still having sex with your ex?"! I fought the system for 19 months. My life story won a scholarship and I started school at 60 and am a Sophomore at 72! I have written two books, Poetry:Sanctuary of the Soul and my memoir: Ghost Child to Triumph....from a child with no voice, to someone who speaks up against injustice; One of my passions is to speak about verbal abuse and I presented my paper, Society's Hidden Pandemic, Verbal Abuse, Precursor to Physical Violence and a Form of Biochemical Assault...at my State's Counseling Association As children we have no voice or choices quite often, but as adults we can choose to do and be who we want to be. I chose to stand up and talk back! xo to all overcomers!
@nicoleflynn

You're now one of my personal heroes. I want to buy your books!

I also had spiritual abuse happen to me, but not as badly as you had it. I am so sorry!

Emotional abuse (including verbal abuse) is one of the most harmful abuses ever, and one of the hardest ones to detect! Your speaking up about verbal abuse is powerful and so needed! Often, when physical victimization, sexual victimization, or other interpersonal victimizations occur, verbal abuse (including threats of harm, gaslighting, etc.) is often coinciding with such abuses - a double-whammy of trauma with each other type of abuse. Then the aftermath of such abuses often comprise more emotional abuse, including verbal abuse. But verbal abuse alone is really damaging. If social support is a protective factor against trauma, verbal abuse seemingly undoes the benefits of social support because that particular type of abuse is quite social. It causes us to feel triggered with verbal exchanges, wondering what will come next out of a person whom we trusted and then betrayed us. I'm glad you found your voice to fight back! You have a lot of courage I do not possess, but I'm learning and healing because of people like you. Thank you for sharing. And, from a fellow veteran to another, thank you for your service!

PS: Your conduct has been superb throughout, in my opinion, based on what you wrote.
 
 
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nicoleflynn
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Default Oct 12, 2019 at 04:19 PM
  #6
Hi, Lillb: Wow, you are a veteran? What branch? Thank you for you lovely reply. I have to order more books (as I am out now, but I will let you know when I get some. Hutgs, and thank you for your service, fellow sistah and veteran.
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Default Oct 12, 2019 at 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted by nicoleflynn View Post
Hi, Lillb: Wow, you are a veteran? What branch? Thank you for you lovely reply. I have to order more books (as I am out now, but I will let you know when I get some. Hutgs, and thank you for your service, fellow sistah and veteran.
@nicoleflynn

Yes, I'm a veteran of the USMC. I wasn't in too long, however (10 months; a story that I am too scared to discuss in detail, but okay to discuss vaguely, if that makes sense; no combat or deployment, but other traumas). I experienced MST, a fractured pelvis, and a fractured foot.

I have half-brothers who were in the Army (different eras - one being Vietnam, the other Korean, I think). My half-nephew is currently in the Air Force. I think my veteran half-brother (from the Korean era) has a son now in the Air Force or Army, I forget. My father was a merchant marine from WWII, but he wasn't recognized as a veteran for many years (they now recognize merchant marines as veterans); it's too bad because he could have been treated for PTSD from the war, but wasn't, and I felt all the pain from his combat/warzone exposures and then some.

Thank you for your service, fellow sistah and veteran - right back at ya!
 
 
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 07:11 AM
  #8
thanks for this encouraging post

I can't speak for everyone, but I think that as a survivor of horriffic abuse from my parents, (and many people I barely even knew), it feels weird sometimes to be wanted, as the people who do the abuse, make you feel so worthless
 
 
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 07:14 AM
  #9
I am so sorry you were injured....I was in the Women's Army Corps (no combat), it was decommissioned many years ago; my friends and I think that was a mistake....Wow, you come from a long line of people who served their Country. I am proud of you! Hugs, sistah!
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 03:14 PM
  #10
Apart from the curveballs I’ve been thrown and they keep coming, I have many blessings. Survive and thrive! Love and strength to all here!

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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 03:22 PM
  #11
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I am so sorry you were injured....I was in the Women's Army Corps (no combat), it was decommissioned many years ago; my friends and I think that was a mistake....Wow, you come from a long line of people who served their Country. I am proud of you! Hugs, sistah!
@nicoleflynn - Thank you! (((Hugs)))
 
 
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Default Oct 23, 2019 at 05:58 PM
  #12
I truly understand how you feel! I also had emotional & physical abuse as a child. It really stinks, but with therapy, medications & self help books concerning this I am a survivor!! I am now a behavioral/psychiatric nurse & love my job. I can relate to so many of my patient's & the tramua that they have dealt with. I guess that with the grief & trauma that I endured, has benefited others as I can relate & give them love, guidance, empathy & support.
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Default Oct 24, 2019 at 12:39 PM
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I truly understand how you feel! I also had emotional & physical abuse as a child. It really stinks, but with therapy, medications & self help books concerning this I am a survivor!! I am now a behavioral/psychiatric nurse & love my job. I can relate to so many of my patient's & the tramua that they have dealt with. I guess that with the grief & trauma that I endured, has benefited others as I can relate & give them love, guidance, empathy & support.
Thank you NurseConnie and my heart goes out to you!

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Default Nov 08, 2019 at 04:39 AM
  #14
To all of you survivors, I love you & am so glad you have made it this far, in spite of everything. I also am a survivor. And I'm so grateful to PC for this safe place & for so many revelations that are helping me. I wish all of you peace & fulfilling experiences the rest of the way. Lots of hugs!!
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Default Nov 18, 2019 at 01:11 AM
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I don't relate to being a survivor, never have. I experienced traumas, but didn't "survive" them. Nobody chose to kill me, that's all. I did nothing to earn a badge of survivorship. I experienced abuses, and now I don't.
But that's not because of anything I ever did or didn't do.
I just don't "get" the survivorship thing.
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Default Nov 18, 2019 at 02:29 PM
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People who abuse want us to feel worthless. They are quite ''successful'' at what they do

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Default Nov 18, 2019 at 03:24 PM
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So true fuzzy.Hugs
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Heart Nov 18, 2019 at 03:42 PM
  #18
Dear Amyjay, I know. It's confusing. But go back & read the first page of this thread! (...You are so strong, even when you do not feel or believe it...), etc. Also reread what nicoleflynn said.
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Default Nov 18, 2019 at 07:27 PM
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I don't relate to being a survivor, never have. I experienced traumas, but didn't "survive" them. Nobody chose to kill me, that's all. I did nothing to earn a badge of survivorship. I experienced abuses, and now I don't.
But that's not because of anything I ever did or didn't do.
I just don't "get" the survivorship thing.
It's not unusual to feel this way Amyjay. When a person suffers from ptsd, they are suffering from the affects of trauma which can include being abused or exposed to too much abuse that creates a deep feeling of being "unsafe" and powerless.

I think it would be better if helping someone suffering from ptsd resulting from abuse/emotional abuse and dysfunction if FIRST the person is able to finally talk about whatever they experienced with an individual that can really LISTEN where the sufferer feels safe and has found the person that can be a witness and validate as much as needed. Then the goal is HELPING and SUPPORTING this individual to learn HOW to be a survivor which includes learning to manage this "disorder" labelled ptsd.

Also, it's important to understand that some people experience ptsd worse than others might too. What can trigger one person may not trigger another person even though both individuals may struggle with ptsd.
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Default Nov 19, 2019 at 03:09 AM
  #20
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People who abuse want us to feel worthless. They are quite ''successful'' at what they do
Sometimes I think it is that way. And sometimes I think some people abuse not because they want us to feel worthless, but because they just want to feel better, or they just want to hurt less, or they are just so hurting themselves.
I don't say that as though any of it is an excuse. It isn't.
But I think sometimes hurt people hurt others because they actually just don't know a better or different way of doing things, or maybe they know they are supposed to do better, but their own brains are running on trauma and they just can't do it differently.
Not all the times, of course. Some people are just truly that awful.
But sometimes it isn't so much that people are awful, but that they themselves are terribly hurt.
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