What if healing the trauma isn't enough?

I've been diagnosed with c-ptsd. And I'm terrified that healing the trauma won't be enough to make me better. What exactly does it mean to heal the trauma anyway? Atm I feel like it won't be enough to "fix" me, and I guess I'm scared that at some point, the health care provider (I'm in the nhs) will say, ok, so now you seem to handle the trauma pretty well, so now it's time to end therapy, and I'll still be as f*d up as I am now, just having to deal with it on my own. I've been sort of kicked out before. I don't know, maybe I'm thinking this way because I've been like this for so long that I don't know who/what I am without anxiety and depression and everything. Can trauma even be healed at all?

I think that it isn't so much about the trauma being healed, but figuring out the affect it had on you and how you can process it and grow as a person despite whatever your trauma was. Complex trauma typically develops from several childhood traumas that contributed to your not feeling safe and it can be difficult to know how to actually feel safe.

I am currently working with a therapist for childhood trauma. I had a therapist for about a year that didn't do anything. I am hoping this therapist will be able to help me get better. It is very frustrating to not get better when I am working with someone who is supposed to be helping. My new therapist is a psychologist who specializes in trauma. I am going to give this a shot. I also have bipolar II, so I have to have meds. I don't know if it will "fix" me either, but I am really tired of dealing with all the damage this is doing to me, my family, and my relationships.

I wish I had something to say that is more encouraging. I am hoping for the same thing you are.

Thank you, Open Eyes and Misfit Toy, for your replies! It means a lot!

I'm just so tired of all the things that trigger me. It's so much, and half of it I have no idea why triggers me. Or I can't figure out what it was that was triggering me. And it's not just external things, it's just as much, or maybe even more, internal stuff. ...Just feeling tired…

Hey @Lilfae I thought this article was interesting.
Phases of Trauma Recovery | Trauma Recovery

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Originally Posted by Lilfae I've been diagnosed with c-ptsd. And I'm terrified that healing the trauma won't be enough to make me better. What exactly does it mean to heal the trauma anyway? Atm I feel like it won't be enough to "fix" me, and I guess I'm scared that at some point, the health care provider (I'm in the nhs) will say, ok, so now you seem to handle the trauma pretty well, so now it's time to end therapy, and I'll still be as f*d up as I am now, just having to deal with it on my own. I've been sort of kicked out before. I don't know, maybe I'm thinking this way because I've been like this for so long that I don't know who/what I am without anxiety and depression and everything. Can trauma even be healed at all?

My first thought is something I keep telling myself a lot - baby steps. Hold onto the belief that the treatment you are undergoing MIGHT help. Hopefully WILL help.


My CPTSD treatment got cut short very early on, due to complicating factors that had to be dealt with before I can fully participate in that therapy - but I can say, I was able to see huge results fairly quickly. So to answer your question - "healing the trauma", to me, was getting to where I could remember traumatic events that happened, without the huge emotional charge that always came with it prior to treatment.


Which brings me to your next concern - that "fixing" the PTSD won't be enough to fully heal you. I'm proof that it might not. I have other issues, as well as CPTSD. BUT - that does NOT mean that your going thru therapy for it won't fix you - or won't, at least, help you to better than are today, better than you were yesterday.


I hope I'm not making things worse for you. Given what you said about sort of being kicked out of treatment before, I can see where fears about it happening again, or ending too soon, could be totally justifiable fears for you. Have you talked about your fears with your therapist yet?

Can you flip your mindset around, regarding your concerns that you don't know who / what you are without anxiety or depression? Think instead about how interesting and maybe even exciting it might be, to find out?


And finally, your question about can trauma be healed at all? When I first started learning about PTSD, I was taught that the answer was no. That it caused permanent changes in the brain that couldn't be reversed. Basically, a "learn to live with it" situation. That was several years ago. Based on my own experiences with therapy specifically geared to PTSD - I now believe the exact opposite. So, just my own personal opinion, but yes, I do believe trauma can be healed. I hope you get to that point someday yourself, in believing it, in living it.

What is mostly worrying me is that I will get to a place where I can think of may traumatic experiences without much emotional pain, but that I still get triggered by other things, like things I watch or read, or certain situations..

I haven't talked to my therapist about my concerns about being kicked out, cause I kind of feel like I'd be manipulating her into letting me stay longer than what their resources allow.. if that makes sense? And I haven't talked about my fear of healing my trauma but still be messed up. Only about my fear of not getting better at all.. But I guess I should.

Trying to be excited about finding out about who I am sounds like a good idea, to turn it around like that! I will try to keep that in mind :-) I think part of my uneasiness has to do with how I felt in my early twenties (I'm 35 now), like I could keep on living as someone else or die as myself. That it was impossible to be me and be healthy, that the illness was just who I was. And I think I at some point, unconsciously, started to change, until I felt like I didn't know myself anymore. Then, some years later, when I started to gradually go back to being me, I simultaneously started to get worse again.

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets Hey @Lilfae I thought this article was interesting. Phases of Trauma Recovery | Trauma Recovery

Thank you, sarahsweets! I've learned so much from the links you've posted.

I encourage others to take a look at the articles.