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Default Feb 14, 2018 at 05:44 PM
  #1
So if I try to do certain tasks (remote work) I just feel incredible stress reaction right away so I have to instantly turn my mind away from it. It's not even real emotion but if it turns into real emotion it gets to be very violent negative emotions.

These are tasks requiring mental effort, especially if processing of new data is needed or a lot has to be done by deadline. How I manage is basically just by doing it the last day/night before deadline because then I'm no longer focused on that stress reaction, but on the stress from the real deadline instead. I sometimes stay up for 2 days straight and that's no good. I'm considering giving up any real work because of this... I have been struggling with this for months since I've started trying to earn money again.

Any suggestions for this issue?
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Smile Feb 15, 2018 at 01:48 PM
  #2
I'm sorry I can't really offer any particular suggestions with regard to your concerns. My personal, non-professional thinking would be that there really aren't any specific things you could do to address this particular concern. (Perhaps some other members, here on PC, will have some suggestions.)

From what you wrote, it sounds as though what you are struggling with is related to anxiety. And, at least from my perspective, anxiety reduction is something one has to work on consistently over time via such things as getting plenty of physical exercise, possibly doing meditation, avoiding the consumption of caffeinated beverages, and other things. It's really a lifestyle change that, over time, leads to a reduction in one's over all level of anxiety & thus one's tendency to develop the kind of stress reactions you describe.

Having written that, though, here are links to a bunch of articles from PsychCentral's archives on the subject of how to reduce one's level of stress as well as one's over all level of anxiety. Perhaps some of the information in these articles will be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/stress/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/6-ways-...-less-at-work/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/4-tips-...l-with-stress/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-fo...g-your-stress/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/20-tips...e-your-stress/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/strateg...ty-and-stress/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-...ere-right-now/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-smal...iety-symptoms/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-tips...hrink-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-pow...-stress/?all=1

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Default Feb 15, 2018 at 01:58 PM
  #3
Hello. I’m overwhelmed, too! I am just trying to force myself to tackle one thing at a time. The most important thing first. Total stress overload. Instead of doing these tasks, I’ve taken a pill and hid in my room. PC relaxes me. This is my coping source. I’ll do what I need to do eventually because it simply must be done...or not. Ive never not come through, but I suppose there’s a first time for everything.

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Default Feb 15, 2018 at 02:31 PM
  #4
I don't have any advice.. I suffer from anxiety with these kind of things, as well although it's different from yours...
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Default Feb 15, 2018 at 03:59 PM
  #5
I just take things one at a time and I try to focus on what’s going on at this exact moment. Also if I’m really struggling I make myself think of what’s exactly bothering me, and what exactly do I need to make it better?
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Default Feb 15, 2018 at 06:32 PM
  #6
Just done same thing last night,recovering today. And see it is NOT the computer or the work,or outcome . . .it is ME! It is my
attitude (must,must get this fixed up,oh,look at time,need to hurry, damn to hell,etc.,etc.). These are things OUTSIDE of me,
but I'm not outside,I'm INSIDE ME. I realise I was in effect,not
fully conscious or I would have been able to stop and say something like: "C'mon, slow down,nobody here to tell you to
get move on,no one to point out mistakes,no one to criticise me
except me " In other words,not a soul with a whip behind me,
just little ol' me and similar words running through subconscious
that I don't realise are controlling me like a damn puppet!
Sooo, how about some soft,gentle,kindness to dear self ? EH?
Hope that helps.
Kindness,
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Default Feb 15, 2018 at 09:45 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
I'm sorry I can't really offer any particular suggestions with regard to your concerns. My personal, non-professional thinking would be that there really aren't any specific things you could do to address this particular concern. (Perhaps some other members, here on PC, will have some suggestions.)

From what you wrote, it sounds as though what you are struggling with is related to anxiety. And, at least from my perspective, anxiety reduction is something one has to work on consistently over time via such things as getting plenty of physical exercise, possibly doing meditation, avoiding the consumption of caffeinated beverages, and other things. It's really a lifestyle change that, over time, leads to a reduction in one's over all level of anxiety & thus one's tendency to develop the kind of stress reactions you describe.

Having written that, though, here are links to a bunch of articles from PsychCentral's archives on the subject of how to reduce one's level of stress as well as one's over all level of anxiety. Perhaps some of the information in these articles will be of some help:
Thank you for the input!

The stress reaction doesn't feel like anxiety. Maybe there is that too in the whole bunch of negative emotionality+stress, I don't particularly notice it on its own.

I already train a lot, I don't drink coffee, and meditation just makes me fall asleep, so these things don't help here. What other lifestyle things were you referring to?

I've checked out your links, thanks for those too. The problem is... where it recommends relaxation. I already do that excessively by retreating into a very detached mode that I kind of call my "mental addiction". It doesn't help, clearly.

As for harnessing the harmful knee-jerk reaction as per this link https://psychcentral.com/lib/6-ways-...s-less-at-work. I don't know how to do that. It says some people mentally withdraw from the situation. Yeah that's what I do with the "mental addiction". And if I don't allow myself to withdraw (which is the knee-jerk reaction by default) then I have the incredible feeling of the stress reaction, physically. I'm usually only able to put up with that for a second before I withdraw again.

Identifying and managing negative emotion... well when I finally get to FEEL the emotions and not just the stress response, that's just more physical like I get stabbed, or something, well, so when I do finally get to feel them, it's actually better, I can handle that phase better. I can then at least think things through for problem-solving if needed. But it can take a while to get to feel these emotions, and that can mean a lot of attempts ending in the stress reaction immediately (from which my brain runs back to the "mental addiction" instantly) before I can FEEL the emotions.

They do get violent though. If I manage to release them it helps. Like, yesterday I managed to get to a point where I suddenly - finally - emotionally reacted and I hit my own head several times and then went into a crying fit. I felt better afterwards. This was after several hours of the stress of trying to start on the task...

If I force things too much, lately I more and more often also get slowed down or immobilized with some weird tension until I can start moving again.

Basically the issue is that this problem/reaction is extreme and I don't know how to start breaking it down. These links are not dealing with such an extreme version of it... Any practical idea I could try for that?

Last edited by tevelygo; Feb 15, 2018 at 11:32 PM..
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Default Feb 15, 2018 at 09:54 PM
  #8
Thanks for the input to everyone!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Hello. I’m overwhelmed, too! I am just trying to force myself to tackle one thing at a time. The most important thing first. Total stress overload. Instead of doing these tasks, I’ve taken a pill and hid in my room. PC relaxes me. This is my coping source. I’ll do what I need to do eventually because it simply must be done...or not. Ive never not come through, but I suppose there’s a first time for everything.
Ah, I see. Can you imagine yourself doing this for years without the situation improving? I can't... It ruins my whole day/days until I manage to get through the pain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bozdickens View Post
I just take things one at a time and I try to focus on what’s going on at this exact moment. Also if I’m really struggling I make myself think of what’s exactly bothering me, and what exactly do I need to make it better?
If I focus on the present (instead of withdrawing), I get the untolerable physical stress reaction... :/ and I have no idea what exactly is bothering me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BLUEDOVE View Post
Just done same thing last night,recovering today. And see it is NOT the computer or the work,or outcome . . .it is ME! It is my
attitude (must,must get this fixed up,oh,look at time,need to hurry, damn to hell,etc.,etc.). These are things OUTSIDE of me,
but I'm not outside,I'm INSIDE ME. I realise I was in effect,not
fully conscious or I would have been able to stop and say something like: "C'mon, slow down,nobody here to tell you to
get move on,no one to point out mistakes,no one to criticise me
except me " In other words,not a soul with a whip behind me,
just little ol' me and similar words running through subconscious
that I don't realise are controlling me like a damn puppet!
Sooo, how about some soft,gentle,kindness to dear self ? EH?
Hope that helps.
Kindness,
BLUEDOVE
I wish I was just telling myself such words explicitly (like, "need to hurry, damn to hell" etc). I'd take that over this nonverbal stress reaction. It speaks no words so I can't even read what it is, let alone handle it.

Last edited by tevelygo; Feb 15, 2018 at 10:13 PM..
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Default Feb 15, 2018 at 10:15 PM
  #9
Could someone spend talking half an hour with me tomorrow? To see if maybe that way I can get started...? I'm having extra difficulties now, been trying for 2 whole days and could not manage anything at all. I will have to have deadline extended

If anyone is up for it, please PM me. Thanks so much!

(PS: not literal talking. Just chatting in writing.)
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Default Feb 16, 2018 at 12:48 PM
  #10
The kind of work you are doing, may not be the right Kind of work for you. It is a job that does not fit you. Considering other kinds of work may not be a bad idea.

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How do you deal with an incredible stress reaction to certain tasks?

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Default Feb 16, 2018 at 01:04 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thunder Bow View Post
The kind of work you are doing, may not be the right Kind of work for you. It is a job that does not fit you. Considering other kinds of work may not be a bad idea.
It's not the type of work that's the problem. Objectively it's fine stuff. Other kinds of work would be a problem too. Many other tasks are actually a problem too, but I'm less worried about those, work is more in my focus now, so I didn't mention them.

PS: Also... I was not like this before my issues started. I had no problem with work and doing other tasks.
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Default Feb 17, 2018 at 12:46 PM
  #12
OK. I managed to finally pass the stress reaction phase for this bit of work. I'm waiting for my thinking to be able to focus atm so then I can finally do the work.

I'm still interested in tips for managing all this. Or in similar experiences from others and how they dealt with it. Detailed descriptions of such are very welcome.

Including, how do you get your thinking to focus enough to actually absorb the words in the document in front of you, for example? Etc.

I mean, I do get there eventually, but some way to make it happen faster would be what I need.
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Default Feb 18, 2018 at 02:27 PM
  #13
Another question. For those, who struggle with focus/concentration issues due to depression, what does that look like? Are you unable to focus because you are feeling negative and/or because you are focused on negative thoughts? Or it's not that simple? I hope my question made sense.
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Default Feb 19, 2018 at 05:20 PM
  #14
Back when i used to work, I found that talking about what I was working on with someone knowledgable enough to engage in a conversation helped me focus on the task. Do you get the stress reaction if you talk in detail about the work ahead, or only when you sit down to do it? Do you get it if you imagine doing the work?

There's an expression 'paralyzed with fear'. Are you afraid of work or of the stress reaction or neither or both?

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Default Feb 24, 2018 at 07:15 AM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by tecomsin View Post
Back when i used to work, I found that talking about what I was working on with someone knowledgable enough to engage in a conversation helped me focus on the task. Do you get the stress reaction if you talk in detail about the work ahead, or only when you sit down to do it? Do you get it if you imagine doing the work?

There's an expression 'paralyzed with fear'. Are you afraid of work or of the stress reaction or neither or both?
Sorry, I didn't realize I didn't reply to this yet.

I get the stress reaction when I'm to focus on looking at the task to even start. This means, I don't even get to sit down to it. It means I don't get to think in detail about it either or even at all think about it. No thoughts, no chance to focus my thinking in that direction because of the reaction. Yes, I do get the reaction if just imagining myself starting to focus on the work.

Yes it did help before to talk to someone about the piece of work but it only helped while I was talking to the person. As soon as I was to continue working on it, issues again, at best I would not have the stress reaction anymore but I would have focus issues.

It's not paralysis with fear, it's simply very strong discomfort. There is no explicit emotion in it, it's more physical seeming (but I know it's not truly physical). Maybe because of alexithymia, I don't know.

I no longer have the whole issue either with this "stress reaction" or with focus if I get to the point where things feel real enough to motivate me to start - real enough in the sense that I know there'll be consequences and that all feels REAL. And then that gives me a different reaction that motivates me and I guess the "stress reaction" has no chance to come up then. Then I will work without sleep even for days to get stuff done on time. But that's again not good obviously. And I can still get focus issues during this, if I get unlucky so it gets even harder then.
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Default Feb 24, 2018 at 07:22 AM
  #16
Of course I'm trying to find a solution to get my motivation engaged so I'm not just at home isolated in apathetic lack of motivation for the outside world's things including (remote) work but including most other things too. I have some ideas here, if it works, I'll write more about it. I just hope I also find the energy too but the idea is that if the goal to work for is 1) realistic and concrete 2) with concrete steps leading to it and 3) is meaningful enough or positive enough in whatever way to me and finally 4) it involves setting up external demands that I have to meet so no hiding from them. The latter means involving other people, because, at least in my case, that's something I don't ignore/is a motivating factor. So for example I have to do something that affects other people, that's something I don't ignore.

I hope all that made sense.
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Default Oct 13, 2020 at 05:09 AM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by tevelygo View Post
So if I try to do certain tasks (remote work) I just feel incredible stress reaction right away so I have to instantly turn my mind away from it. It's not even real emotion but if it turns into real emotion it gets to be very violent negative emotions.

These are tasks requiring mental effort, especially if processing of new data is needed or a lot has to be done by deadline. How I manage is basically just by doing it the last day/night before deadline because then I'm no longer focused on that stress reaction, but on the stress from the real deadline instead. I sometimes stay up for 2 days straight and that's no good. I'm considering giving up any real work because of this... I have been struggling with this for months since I've started trying to earn money again.

Any suggestions for this issue?

Still got this in a milder form as far as the experience itself. The results are the same still though, still barely surviving around the deadlines. I'm trying to let go of the **** past but it's holding me back

Oh also somehow I no longer have motivation problems. I just have a too unstable mood around the motivation so it doesn't result in very functional days still.

So, with me having sorted motivation more, I have to get a stable enough mood still.
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