Why Fight

I left my wife yesterday and I just cant take it anymore...

All my life I thought I was fighting the greater good, now I feel everything has been for nothing.

She has brought me down, mentally screwed with me, I feel so empty and I hate myself, because public opinion will fall with her, she has held me back, turned me into a shell of what I used to be.

I could not do anything, she would loosen the leash every now and again as if she was proving she never had me on a tight leash to start with.

She co-erced me into falsifying an official document and used my mental health problems to do so, I went along because I thought it was a good idea, only recently did I fully realise what was going on, I was caught up in the moment.

I never had any say in things we did as a family, it was always 'we're doing this, were going here for a day out' only once in 2 and a half years did we all do something I wanted and even then, I had to beg to go where I wanted.

I claim disability benefit for serious mental health problems, all I seen of it was getting my dog and she paid for days out I never wanted to go on, I saw barely a penny of it.

I felt like I was seriously held under the thumb, on a tight leash, having my finances controlled, I gave up some friendships to keep her happy, I moved from my hometown thinking things might get better when all it achieved was cutting me off, it made me worse, it ground me down, I was miles from anyone I loved, totally at her mercy, I have left before, but I always went back, I am deeply saddened my marriage has fallen apart and life is going with it, but I cant live like that anymore.

I have told her exactly what I think, but she is branding me a liar, deluded and tells me I need help...I ask this, if I believe it, how am I a liar, if I believe it is it not the truth at least to me.

Now I have walked, she has left me with nothing, absolutely broke, left me at the mercy of my parents and that is not fair on them.

If I am a rambling madman, then sorry, I will be on my way, but I have nowhere to turn, my head is all over the place.

Am I mad

So sorry, ending a marriage especially a long one is tough. And it sounds like your making a wise decision seeing how she took over your disability and such. I recommend getting a new bank account and have your check deposited in the new account that your wife soon to be ex wife doesn't have access to. I've been suckered in my own life and it's made a mess of things. But in time things do heal. You will get through this and no you don't sound mad, you sound like your mind is going through a lot of emotions right now.

You are mad, and you are being controlled. However, you need to be responsible for your own actions and feelings. It is good that you are now on your own, use this opportunity to set a new direction for yourself, and be responsible for your own life.

I could certainly understand that your head is all over the place. Leaving a spouse even when it needs to happen is extremely stressful.

If this relationship is bad for you than I’m happy that you are out of it. . You are kind of at the bottom of an emotional well. If you are left with nothing and broke the only direction to look in is up.

Thanks guys...

I tried levelling with her, but all I get is that I am deluded.

I will take an opportunity to say I have been far from perfect, probably unreasonable ar times, I have battled addiction for years and would keep it from the Missus as I was worried I would be reined in tighter.

All I get is Im deluded, the more it is said, people have tried for years to make me believe I am totally out of my mind, but I fought my way through everything.

She would trawl through my facebook page and pull me up for comments I made years previously, I have set up 2 new facebook accounts in the last 2 and a half years in the hope that stuff I said years ago would disappear, it was as if I should not have had a life before she came running along. I think she once even put my name and known online user names into google to see if she could find some of my message board history, which she did.

When it came to friends, if they were female, it was like facing a Guantanamo Interrogator about who they were, why was I adding them and why was I adding them to FB or Twitter if I hadn't had contact with them for so long.

Im sick and tired, it is pushing me to he brink, I have little stomach for this fight, I dont want to fight with her, but she is constantly on my back telling me to find help as I am letting my fragile mental state take over. What if, for once I aint mental.

I cant be lying if I believe it, if I am lying, then I have probably slandered the **** out of her and she has not even attempted to challenge me on the supposes lies.

Anyway thanks for listening to me, I appreciate it guys

Now she has messaged me on Facebook saying she is going to find me help.

Would I be mad to take that offer would it be right to be worried that any help she finds me is biased towards her and is all about getting me to retract any accusations I have made?

She sounds abusive in her extreme control of you. What sort of help is she talking about? A therapist whose loyalty is to her, and not you? If so, know that no ethical therapist would want to be used to further her control and abuse of you.

To try and convince me I am deluded, that what I am saying is somehow wrong, wanting me to take a step back and think about what I am doing.

I am doing nothing more than attacking her, and I on a path to tarnish her name.

I think it is all to stop me walking into a solicitors in about 40 minutes time.

Yes, I have a serious mental health problem, no professional has ever told me I suffer delusions, so until I am told otherwise by a professional, I will never believe I am deluded.

I am still talking to her, I believe she deserves to know what I am doing, I feel I can talk to her with a 25 mile gap between us from the relative safety of my parents house

Am I wrong to offer her an olive branch.

I cant petition for divorce till we have been married for 1 year and 1 day. Solicitor told me to take the next 10 or so weeks to think about it.

While I am serious about divorce, I made those vows, they mean something to me, there was a time I loved her and adored her

You’ve been married less than a year and it’s aleady this bad?

I think you made the right decision. It’s not for her to decide whether you need help or to attempt to get helpmfor you.

Sorry to read that (((
I'm shocked. You don't really need to make a quick and emotional decision. It's painful situation and I think you need to take a break. If it's very important for you to divorce her, you can start with exploring about online divorce https://www.onlinedivorce.com/
I know a person who used this service some time ago. She was satisfied with quick and right papers for divorce.