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Old 12-02-2018, 06:14 AM #1
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Default I have a terrible personality

I wasn't sure where to post this.


I have extreme depression and anxiety due to chronic stress over life issues.


Awhile ago I realized that my personality has totally deteriorated.


I experimented for a month or two just faking being cheerful. Certain people thought my mental state had "improved" and I had gotten stronger mentally etc. etc.


But I was just faking it. Recently I dropped the facade and went back to my usual depressed mode. One relative said I was bipolar and needed medication for that. I tried to explain I was faking being cheerful so as not to burden others. Because I am not bipolar I was offended by a relative trying to diagnose me.


Here is my question. Should I go back to faking it?


In truth I am pretty depressed, angry, and irritable. I don't have road rage or anything...but I do find it difficult to have long conversations. After about 4 minutes I get bored with what the other person is talking about.


I live alone and less and less see the need for so much talk. In fact I have decided to be completely silent for the next 28 days. This isn't that difficult since I am socially isolated. But I am going to avoid the usual banter with store clerks about the holidays.


My personality has shrunk down and could fit on the head of a pin.
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Old 12-02-2018, 07:00 AM #2
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Default Re: I have a terrible personality

When you recognize you are not being pleasant (which does damage relationships)--yes, fake it until you make it if you can. Studies show that what we do, does effect how we feel. For instance, I work in a call center environment and many times they will tell you in training to smile (get a mirror if necessary) because even a forced smile will effect your voice (make it sound more positive). Since more than one place I have worked has told us that--I assume it is based on research. I am not working in a place that sells things but have on a few occasions in the past and there is so much science behind selling things. Fake it until you make it is no magic pill but it does help a person get through rough patches until they figure things out. If you sound confident on the phone--people will sometimes think you are an expert even if you know very little!

I have anxiety and irritibility sometimes (though mostly I am a naturally positive person) and do take two antidepressants because I can make the most difference (in a good way ) if I medicate myself to be consistently patient and upbeat. I know you have problems with affording medications (is this still the case?) but, for some of us--they are necessary to meet our potential.
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Old 12-02-2018, 07:14 AM #3
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Default Re: I have a terrible personality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nowinners View Post
When you recognize you are not being pleasant (which does damage relationships)--yes, fake it until you make it if you can. Studies show that what we do, does effect how we feel. For instance, I work in a call center environment and many times they will tell you in training to smile (get a mirror if necessary) because even a forced smile will effect your voice (make it sound more positive). Since more than one place I have worked has told us that--I assume it is based on research. I am not working in a place that sells things but have on a few occasions in the past and there is so much science behind selling things. Fake it until you make it is no magic pill but it does help a person get through rough patches until they figure things out. If you sound confident on the phone--people will sometimes think you are an expert even if you know very little!

I have anxiety and irritibility sometimes (though mostly I am a naturally positive person) and do take two antidepressants because I can make the most difference (in a good way ) if I medicate myself to be consistently patient and upbeat. I know you have problems with affording medications (is this still the case?) but, for some of us--they are necessary to meet our potential.



Medication makes me insane. I cannot tolerate the side effects.



In general I am very cordial on the phone or with sales people. My feeling is other people are just trying to do their job so especially with phone people I am cheerful.


Well, if you are on two antidepressants in order to feel cheerful...I don't think we are talking about the same thing. Anyway, I can't tolerate medication so it is a moot point.


I will rethink the faking it thing. I don't know. Maybe it had some positive influence. But it didn't really make me feel better. I have a very bleak, pessimistic outlook. I feel like the world is going to hell and people don't see it. We have basically destroyed this planet but people still want to pollute the environment, consume, and poison everything.
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Old 12-02-2018, 07:18 AM #4
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Default Re: I have a terrible personality

I'm so sorry, DechanDawa I'm not sure faking it is a good idea. Yes, it may be necessary in certain situations, but if you keep faking it, it will be impossible for other people to recognize your problem, and every hope of receiving any help will disappear. So while I know how tempting it may seem, I'd suggest to do otherwise. I'm sorry you have to put a facade to begin with, though: in an ideal world, everyone would be caring and accepting
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Old 12-02-2018, 07:23 AM #5
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I'm so sorry, DechanDawa I'm not sure faking it is a good idea. Yes, it may be necessary in certain situations, but if you keep faking it, it will be impossible for other people to recognize your problem, and every hope of receiving any help will disappear. So while I know how tempting it may seem, I'd suggest to do otherwise. I'm sorry you have to put a facade to begin with, though: in an ideal world, everyone would be caring and accepting







Thank you for this. It is confusing. Truthfully, I think others preferred me faking being cheerful. I mean no one EVER asks me how I am doing. If I talk to a family member, for instance. They just don't ask...and I think they felt more comfortable with me being cheerful...and really did not care if I was really cheerful or just faking it. I think that's how people are.


It sounds crazy but it was easier just faking it. Either way I am still depressed.
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Old 12-02-2018, 08:04 AM #6
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I know how that feels... I'm so sorry
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Old 12-02-2018, 08:08 AM #7
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Default Re: I have a terrible personality

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Originally Posted by DechanDawa View Post

I have a very bleak, pessimistic outlook. I feel like the world is going to hell and people don't see it. We have basically destroyed this planet but people still want to pollute the environment, consume, and poison everything.
I feel this way also. Sometimes it makes me anxious or reading the news triggers feelings of helplessness, esp when I hear about climate change catastrophes already happening around the world or things which increase the risk of a major war. I think the murder of Khashoggi in the Saudi consulate in Turkey is one of those things because it creates an atmosphere of lawlessness and the exertion of brute force instead of diplomacy. You see that also going on in Russia seizing Ukrainian ships and taking prisoners.



I also have a limited social life, in part by choice and in part from being cast aside by the rest of society. I am diagnosed as bipolar, and that makes us different, and also need to take an AP everyday to stay in what we all call reality.

Glad I found this thread.
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Old 12-02-2018, 08:16 AM #8
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I feel this way also. Sometimes it makes me anxious or reading the news triggers feelings of helplessness, esp when I hear about climate change catastrophes already happening around the world or things which increase the risk of a major war. I think the murder of Khashoggi in the Saudi consulate in Turkey is one of those things because it creates an atmosphere of lawlessness and the exertion of brute force instead of diplomacy. You see that also going on in Russia seizing Ukrainian ships and taking prisoners.



I also have a limited social life, in part by choice and in part from being cast aside by the rest of society. I am diagnosed as bipolar, and that makes us different, and also need to take an AP everyday to stay in what we all call reality.

Glad I found this thread.







In the last few months I kind of got hooked into the news. I had been avoiding the news. Now I think...perhaps...IDK...just being a little less informed would be okay.


I have gotten a little crazy. I feel guilty using a straw or a plastic water bottle or bag. I hate all the traffic. Where I live we have good public transportation but not many people actually use it. Meanwhile the traffic gets worse with most cars filled with only a single driver.


I actually don't think I can handle the news and I need to take a break. I am so upset by politics and the state of the world.
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Old 12-02-2018, 08:16 AM #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DechanDawa View Post
Medication makes me insane. I cannot tolerate the side effects.



In general I am very cordial on the phone or with sales people. My feeling is other people are just trying to do their job so especially with phone people I am cheerful.


Well, if you are on two antidepressants in order to feel cheerful...I don't think we are talking about the same thing. Anyway, I can't tolerate medication so it is a moot point.


I will rethink the faking it thing. I don't know. Maybe it had some positive influence. But it didn't really make me feel better. I have a very bleak, pessimistic outlook. I feel like the world is going to hell and people don't see it. We have basically destroyed this planet but people still want to pollute the environment, consume, and poison everything.
My thought is that you should be your self. If you know that this is a problem for you, (not anyone else) just you, you might try to work on it, but don't fake it. Be the person you are. The only one who counts about the person you are, is you!!! If you are not happy with it, then try to work on it, if you are happy with it, then it isn't your problem, it is the other person/s problem to accept you the way you are!!!
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Old 12-02-2018, 08:37 AM #10
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Default Re: I have a terrible personality

Quote:
Originally Posted by DechanDawa View Post
I wasn't sure where to post this.


I have extreme depression and anxiety due to chronic stress over life issues.


Awhile ago I realized that my personality has totally deteriorated.


I experimented for a month or two just faking being cheerful. Certain people thought my mental state had "improved" and I had gotten stronger mentally etc. etc.


But I was just faking it. Recently I dropped the facade and went back to my usual depressed mode. One relative said I was bipolar and needed medication for that. I tried to explain I was faking being cheerful so as not to burden others. Because I am not bipolar I was offended by a relative trying to diagnose me.


Here is my question. Should I go back to faking it?


In truth I am pretty depressed, angry, and irritable. I don't have road rage or anything...but I do find it difficult to have long conversations. After about 4 minutes I get bored with what the other person is talking about.


I live alone and less and less see the need for so much talk. In fact I have decided to be completely silent for the next 28 days. This isn't that difficult since I am socially isolated. But I am going to avoid the usual banter with store clerks about the holidays.


My personality has shrunk down and could fit on the head of a pin.
Clearly your personality is there. You sounds like an honest, straightforward and light-hearted person. My family also likes to diagnose me, so I remind myself "what degree do they have?" I don't let other people's opinions bother me anymore. Similarly, I feel like there are many people out there faking pleasantness, especially around the holidays, AND many people walking around angry, irritable and unpleasant. I will skip the conversation with those people, TY! But, receiving a smile or a kind reassurance can make all the difference in a person's day. I'm sorry pleasantness doesn't feel natural to you right now, it does not at times for me either. On occasion, I have difficulty sleeping or I get pains in my feet or arms, and although I choose not to accept prescription medication, I will (when needed) take over-the counter meds. I hope you choose to figure out what is causing you to change your mind about being pleasant and emotionally remove yourself from other peoples woes and worries
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