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Old 12-21-2018, 09:04 AM   #11
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Default Re: How Can You Not Feel ENVY?

Thank yoo sou much for the great advice, 2Jumpy. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 12-21-2018, 09:09 AM   #12
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Default Re: How Can You Not Feel ENVY?

i felt very jealous of in my relationship with my husband, i guess i didn't trust him for awhile after we got married. i never was before a jealous person. i had to talk myself out of it in my head and it became less and less as we grew older together. now i have a bit of what i would call a healthy jealousy as when i feel frightened of someone i'm feeling jealous of, such as another woman, it brings me closer to my husband and i even like the way it feels. i know that may sound not right, but it even makes me feel lucky to have him.
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Old 12-22-2018, 10:30 AM   #13
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Default Re: How Can You Not Feel ENVY?

2Jumpy, thank you. i took some time to think about what you wrote.

i think there have been and still there are some things that make me happy but they're so "unusual" and needing another person (as for friendship) that make me feel they are unreachable.

i think, more than anything, i love helping people i care about, also with unexpected presents, taking care of my pets, but most of all sharing my "secrets" with someone with the same "secrets" (or with my Good T). but since they are secrets, its hard to find someone to share them with.

im also happy when a day goes "right" meaning without any fact/comment/issue that disturbed me. or when i get to accomplish something i was waiting for long to accomplish. this is when i feel internally happy. in the past it happened when i felt accepted or part of a group, or "normal", something that right now im far away from thinking.

i dont feel there are chances for me to feel happy now. happiness is gone or unachievable. thats how i see it. and even if i get to feel some moments of joy, they're so few compared to the rest of my apathetic/depressed life…

but thanks i'll try thinking more about the positive memories and pay more attention to the good moments of the day.
Thank you so much, you're very wise. Takecare
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Old 12-27-2018, 03:14 AM   #14
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Default Re: How Can You Not Feel ENVY?

I am a huge believer in positive thoughts (since I got sober). I used to be more insecure and feel envious or even jealousy. I got married when I was 20 and even though my husband and I are besties, back then I had some minor episodes of envy or jealousy. I used to look at my brother as the "golden child" and that he had it better than me. My mom divorced my d* khead dad but it turns out his d*ckhead dad was no better. He is settled in his career now and bought a big beautiful hours. I have 5 people living in a really small house. But you know what? My house predates George Washington. Its over 240 years old. My 22 year old survived a stroke and my daughter made it out of rehab. I got sober 6 years ago without having seizures and I am very lucky to be married to the best guy for 23 years. None of these things would be appreciated if I felt envy.
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