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Old 12-21-2018, 07:02 AM #1
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This thing is building up since i started working my first real job and then got worse when i started looking for a place of my own, away from my parents…


JEALOUSY of my brother: i was jealous because my mom was excited and went to see my brother's workplace when he had his first job in town. but when i did find my first real job she didnt come and see even though it was a public workplace.


ENVY my brother: because he found a real job far earlier than me.


JEALOUSY of my brother: because my mom helped and went out of her way to help him with his new house, even though it was about 1 hour away from home. and now that im getting my own place she is too tired to help me. she does it a little but i feel its not enough.


ENVY my brother: he got his own house far earlier than me.


today i crashed. i stated crying in front of my mom saying she is being UNFAIR, she did more for my bother than for me, that im feeling ABANDONED with my new house (mom and dad have helped me, but i feel i needed more - knowing its selfish but cant help it). and that im totally uncapable of doing the move (go figure living alone).


i feel i need EXTRA HELP in almost everything i do. i feel so alone, unable to do anything on my own and abandoned. and i feel my parents are unfair because they did more for my brother than for me (and i am older than him!). i know maybe its not as i see it but it does feel like that.


im jealous, envious, feeling abandoned, inferior and uncapable of doing what everyone can do with no problems.
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Old 12-21-2018, 07:19 AM #2
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I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, sinking. Those are hard feeling to cope with. Please don't be so hard on yourself. We're all struggling and doing our best, and there's nothing wrong with asking and needing a little help. It's not your fault. I do think you need to work on your jealousy though, although I understand why you'd feel this way. How is it going with your therapist? Sending many hugs to you
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Old 12-22-2018, 10:46 AM #3
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Default Re: Unfair and totally uncapable

I am SO behind of what a 36yo woman should be...
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Old 12-22-2018, 11:04 AM #4
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Default Re: Unfair and totally uncapable

You "shouldn't" be anything, if not yourself, sinking. Don't let others dictate how your life should be. I think you're a wonderful person. I'm so sorry you're struggling, you don't deserve it at all. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 12-22-2018, 11:08 AM #5
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Default Re: Unfair and totally uncapable

Mickey, you are always so kind and supportive with me... just wanted to let you know i've noticed you're always here when i need some support. thank you SO much, i really mean it. Unfair and totally uncapable
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Old 12-22-2018, 12:01 PM #6
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Feel free to PM me anytime, sinking
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Old 12-27-2018, 03:05 AM #7
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Default Re: Unfair and totally uncapable

Wow sinking that is tough. What did your mom say? There is nothing wrong with needing more help than a sibling. I have three kids: 22,18,15. They all require different types of help. When my 15 year old was 11 she was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. Last March the 18 year old ran away and got involved in drugs and alcohol(sober house now) and on Black Friday my 22 year old son had a stroke, if you can believe it and had to have a PFO repair of his heart. I am sure each one of them would have said they didnt get enough from me or their Dad at one point or another. My point is, sometimes our kids, especially sensitive ones need more from us and that's ok. Its Ok that you needed more from your mom. Its ok that you are envious of your brother. Envy tends to be born out of the desire to do what others seem to do easily.
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