Empathy

I wasn’t sure where to put this so it is here. I have noticed over the years that I can feel what other people are feeling but when I feel them I do not understand why they feel this way. As an example, my sister gets angry sometimes and it feels like little waves of her anger come off her and I know she is angry but I will not understand why she is reacting that way. It annoys me that she is angry and making me angry because if I were her I wouldn’t even be angry in the first place and she is causing me problems. Is there such a thing as feeling emotions but not understanding them? It’s not a bother for me in a great sense but it is a small annoyance that I feel these floating emotions and am constantly confused by them. I have Schizoid Personality Disorder and know that people with that have trouble with empathy if that helps. To help with these unwanted feelings I usually just avoid social interaction whenever I can and it does work.

I don't know if I know of a word for sensing the emotions of others but not identifying with their reasons for the emotions?
Sounds more like disagreeing with her reasons for anger? Sounds like frustration with her reactions to things?

Possibly? It’s not just her either. I get irritated by people reacting emotionally when exhibiting all sorts of emotions ranging from being happy to being sad or angry it just doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe it’s because I don’t understand why people react so strongly to things. Not exactly why they react emotionally, but the level of their emotional response.

Is it possible they are indeed overreacting?

Oh, feelings are so complicated. The person who is feeling something might not even know why they are feeling that way. It's sure confusing.
And there is this massive weight when you get overwhelmed by someone else's emotion and you can't see why they are reacting like that. Or why it's so strong emotion.
For me it's not annoyance, for me it causes fear. When I see my mom angry by some little thing I don't understand, I usually get scared and flee away before I'm filled with her anger. Or when she cried over a little thing, I got sad too and scared 'cause I didn't undestand why she was sad.

I don't know. Maybe it's easier when you stop thinking the reasons. Like you just see someone getting overly angry by a little thing and think: ''Okay let them be.'' No..? I don't really know anything that could help. I wish I could come up with something but I guess leaving or ignoring people just works the best. It's a bad solution though. Maybe the problem is not that we don't understand, but that we can't cope with our/their strong emotions???

Hope you got something out of this... nonsense?

Hugs

I know what you mean, CelestialFlame. I agree with healing4me that perhaps you don't necessarely agree with the reasons why they're feeling a certain way, or simply feeling like they're overreacting. I think empathy can only work to a certain extent. Even if you can relate to the emotions of another person, you're still not in that person's shoes, so you can't completely understand how they truly feel. Or maybe you can, but only up to a certain point. You have an external point of view, after all, and emotions are never fully rational, so some things may seem illogical to you. There's nothing wrong with that. I believe it happens to all of us. I'd still suggest to show empathy for the person you're talking to, even if you don't agree or understand their reasoning. Sometimes we just need someone to listen to us, without judging. I think that could help a lot of people. Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm always availabe if you need to talk. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

Well I guess a follow up question would be: are there different types of empathy? I know that I am not the most empathetic person in terms of putting myself in other people’s shoes but that’s simply my lack of understanding for their situation even if I can comprehend their emotional states perfectly well. Is empathy tied to sensing ones emotions or is it just the understanding of what someone else is experiencing? If there are multiple types of empathy, can someone have one type but lack another? Is it even empathy that I describe when I talk about sensing others emotions?

I think empathy is about acknowledging how others feel, and not why. As for not understanding why others react the way they do, I myself sometimes react certain ways when I am in a certain mental state, but later laugh at myself why I reacted that way when I am in another mental state. In other words, a person himself/herself doesn't understand himself/herself at different times. Your mental state is likely not the same as others at any given time, and the reactions won't be the same for the same things. We see the world through different lenses.

I do believe there are varying degrees of empathy, CelestialFlame. Some people have an almost overwhelming empathy towards others, while others can emphatize only to a certain extent. I don't know if I would call them different types of empathy, but I do believe everyone is different, so that may be the cause. I don't think your case is particularly unusal, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. It could be a good question to ask and it would help you to learn more about yourself. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you

Yes, I think there is such a thing. Actually, I think most people have experienced peoples reactions/emotions and not quite understood why the person feels the way they do. I put it down to not everyone being on the same page psychologically, that there are some general differences between peoples mindsets, and unless you're one of those people, perhaps you'll never fully understand them. For example, look at the differences between the right and left politically - both sides think they're correct and both sides think the other is wrong, so to speak. But for me, the empathy can arise when I consider that, differences aside, all people, [animals too], suffer in their own ways, just want happiness, love, acceptance and all have goodness in them, etc - just like you yourself.

But life is difficult and I think it's a good question you've asked.