One day, a baby video appeared in my YouTube suggestions, and I watched it. I felt joy looking at it. Since then, they have been appearing, and I keep watching them. When I watch them, I feel happy of how cute they are. But afterwards I feel sad because I am planning not to have children who may suffer in this life because of me. I feel sad that I may never experience this joy of having little babies. These emotions are conflicting inside me.

[mote.of.soul]

Yes, understandable. Perhaps it's a very caring, compassionate decision on your part too. I've never wanted to bring children into the world either, for similar reasons. But so many bad things can happen to them outside of our control as well. No, I don't like the idea of that anymore.

[continuosly blue]

It’s a shame , because although we want to spare our children the pain of life, we also deprive them of the joys it offers too. Maybe your child will be the one who finds the cure for cancer ! Maybe your child will help save this world some suffering. Maybe the human race should just die off. It’s a natural instinct to procreate. Why ? So some masochistic god can just watch our suffering ? Who knows. To make a new life though, is an awesome thing.
I remember what I used to say to my mom when we had these rather philosophical discussions about life. I said ,rather angrily, “ you know , I didn’t ask to be born “ ! And she replied : “ Well , who ever did “ ?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Cold Soul I understand your reasoning. I have thought about this as well. I think it's really noble of you. If you don't feel like being a parent and raising a child, that's perfectly ok. I understand it must be very painful for you. Sometime we have to make some tough decision. I think you're being really honest with yourself by deciding this. You're being very generous as well, putting aside your own feeling for what you feel like it'd be the greater good. Just remember that you can't know for sure whether you'll be a good parent or not. You may be a great parent and not even be aware of it. The only way to know for sure would be to have kids. It depends if you're willing to take the risk. But if you have already decided, that's ok. It is your own decision. You don't have to have kids if you don't want. I hope you'll be able to find peace and happiness for yourself. You're a wonderful, person. Stay strong, Cold Soul. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

Originally Posted by continuosly blue

It’s a shame , because although we want to spare our children the pain of life, we also deprive them of the joys it offers too. Maybe your child will be the one who finds the cure for cancer ! Maybe your child will help save this world some suffering. Maybe the human race should just die off. It’s a natural instinct to procreate. Why ? So some masochistic god can just watch our suffering ? Who knows. To make a new life though, is an awesome thing.
I remember what I used to say to my mom when we had these rather philosophical discussions about life. I said ,rather angrily, “ you know , I didn’t ask to be born “ ! And she replied : “ Well , who ever did “ ?

How much joy in life there is compared to the pain and suffering? Why would I have children to cure cancer? To perpetuate suffering on the hope of curing cancer, which is a tiny fraction of the total suffering in life? I have suffered a lot in life, and I haven't felt happy. I don't have good memories to cherish. May be I am projecting my life, but this is what I know and see in others. I didn't ask to be born and life was imposed on me, but I can decide not to give birth to others. Maybe I would change my mind if I feel happier and ready to give a good and happy life. I don't know.

[mountainstream]

[MickeyCheeky]

I hope Cold Soul is doing ok I'm so sorry he left. I hope he'll come back some day. Stay strong, Cold Soul. Stay safe and take care of yourself. Sending many hugs to you

[Fuzzybear]

I’m sending hugs