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Member
Member Since Aug 2018
Location: Nowheresville
Posts: 233
5 120 hugs
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Feb 23, 2019 at 12:43 AM
#1
At this point it feels like I'm not allowed, or shouldn't have any emotions beyond undying love for family. Living with my stepdad stretches me thin when I already feel like paper. I like to let everyone think everything's fine, but that really only because no one can, or wants to put up with anything short of the glass is half full and sunshine and rainbows. The entire family has so much drama going on it makes a high school cheer leading team look tame. I've put so much on my friends that I can't imagine them tolerating my emotions in any form. Through it all I still feel terrible with no place to go. It's almost as if I've ceased to exist except to do things here and there. No one wants to or has the time or energy to deal with what I feel and at this point I know for a fact that some family members would firmly believe I just want attention. It's not that I like dropping all my problems on someone else but there's only so many things I can do. -sigh- I wonder if there's a point to it or not even.
__________________ Because in truth, I am that monster.
We are an awkward little system that obsesses over things. We are Sam, Beyond, Stacy, Kevin, Kitty, Shannon,Link, Peyita, Stephen, Nicole, Damon, Pumpkin, Illonor, Daran,LIly. Feel free to send random cute things. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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Feb 23, 2019 at 06:21 AM
#2
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, rise13eyond
 You deserve to be listened to. I'm so sorry you don't have a support system IRL. It's hard for other people to understand MI if they don't have it. I'm sure many people can relate to what you wrote, especially those here on PC. You're definitely not alone in this. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to deal with your emotions. You would have someone that could listen to you. I'm so sorry, it must be very hard for you. It's always painful when this comes from the people that should be the closest to us. Please don't give up. If it can help a bit... we're here for you. We'll listen to what you have to say. We care about you. We all love you here. You know we won't judge you. I know it's not the same thing as having a support system IRL, but at least it's something. I'm here for you if you want to talk about it. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Member
Member Since Aug 2018
Location: Nowheresville
Posts: 233
5 120 hugs
given |
Feb 26, 2019 at 10:55 PM
#3
I think at this point life has just been sucked out. Everything, and many people, are so draining that it's almost like there's no room for me to feel anything good.
__________________ Because in truth, I am that monster.
We are an awkward little system that obsesses over things. We are Sam, Beyond, Stacy, Kevin, Kitty, Shannon,Link, Peyita, Stephen, Nicole, Damon, Pumpkin, Illonor, Daran,LIly. Feel free to send random cute things. |
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| LeeeLeee, mote.of.soul
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