Wavering

Sometimes I want to stay with mom. It's a nice place to live, my life isn't so bad. Other times I want to move out to the apartment. I'm already tight financially. Moving will make me more tight. I just wish living on my own wasn't such a fight though. She doesn't want to talk about it says my moving out will give her a heart attack. The renter isn't bad. He works a different shift than me, I never see him. It's great! My brother wants me to really consider staying with mom for my financial future.

Mom is worried about me relapsing. That is why I want to move. To prove I can do it, but maybe the timing is bad. I've never lived by sound financial decisions. It's why I'm broke now. Maybe I need to really think about my future. And less about immediate needs.

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Aviza I understand it's a tough decision to make. Like you've said, though, you need to think about your future as well. Your life may not be so bad right now, but you have to ask yourself where would you like to be in five or ten years from you. Do you still want to live with your mom? Is that what you want? You've been putting a lot of effort into this apartment you want to move into. It seems like you do want to move after all. Just try to thhink about what you truly want to do with yourself and you your life. What do you want to do? What do you wish to do? Please try to think about that. Moving out is not easy, but it can be worth it. It's your indipendence and your freedom we're talking about after all. I'm sure you'll be able to handle all of this. You just need to believe in yourself a little bit more. Please don't give up. You can do this, Aviza! I believe in you, Aviza. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you, Aviza. Please keep us updated. You're a strong, wonderful person, Aviza. Please remember that. I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this, Aviza!

What are the "immediate needs" you are referring to?

I have lived by myself most of my adult life, but the time i had to live with my mother, i actually did like it better. It gave me a roommate who had pretty much the habits as i did, no weird cooking smells, altho she did tend to burn the toast in the morning! (She later claimed she did it on purpose to set off the smoke alarm and get me out of bed! )

If you really are not going to be able to swing it financially (i.e., having your own apartment), then i wouldnt do it if i were you. My mother was pretty mean and unkind to me on a daily basis, and wanted ALL my disability money (she was a gambler and really favored my brother), so when i could, i got out to save myself.

You dont seem to be in that situation. Your family seems to be more reasonable and kinder to you. Dont jump out of the frying pan into the fire.

Well my mom says I rent a room. For 200 more a month I can have a small apartment. My stuff is often stored in my car. Some stuff in the garage, when I pull it out of my car. I lack my own space. She belittles me and favors my brother. She says she's been there for me where were all my therapists when I had a breakdown. Basically I owe it to her to stay. My heart wants to leave my mind says stay. I lose my inheritance if i leave.

I can never understand worrying about inheritance. Is she filthy rich? Who cares about inheritance. She might need medical care at the end of life and might not have any money left at the end and here you are hoping for inheritance. Do what’s right for you right now. Move or stay. But don’t worry about inheritance

Well I'm staying with mom. She said the last apartment was better, more spacious. So she'll be more open to it later. I read a numerology report on mom's house and the apartment. Super bad news on apartment, changed my mind after reading it. Not the right place for me. Last time timing was bad. Just wasn't ready. I'm just going to wait for something else to come up.

Its hard when you have TWO little voices whispering in your ear, one saying one thing, the other saying something different! Boy have i been there.

If you keep declining subsidized housing after it was approved, you not only ruining your chances of ever getting one when you need it, you are also holding on to something that could’ve been given to someone who is in true need. You can’t do this kind of thing with subsidized housing. I know people who have been waiting for ages. If you aren’t sure what you want to do with your living arrangements, don’t apply for subsidized housing anymore please. Only do so when you are in true need.

I did need a place when I applied 2 years ago. My mom's husband died since than, she got used to having me around. I never knew she'd give me such a hard time about moving out. I'm seriously rethinking it, and so far in I may actually have a problem. I planned to move in to until Friday, I met with them, was excited, agreed to pay an old debt I had no intention of paying before apt. I was totally serious. My thoughts are changing though.

That’s what I keep saying since your thoughts keep changing, don’t apply for subsidized housing. I understand you applied two years ago but you could withdraw an application so it could go to someone in need. It’s second time that you do that. I really don’t think you should keep doing it. I know several struggling homeless people who’d be ecstatic to get subsidized housing, but they have been waiting. When you get approved and hold on to the apartment, you make those other people wait longer

I too was homeless 2 years ago. Mom took me in.

I understand and sorry to hear. Since then you applied for subsidizing housing twice and got approved and had a place lined up twice. The day may come when you will need a place to live and you might have to wait much longer because they have a record now that you declined twice. I just want you to be mindful how things are all interconnected