Thinking about her automatically makes me cry

I love her to the extremes in a soul-deep way, she loves me the same way but we lost each other and my traumas upset her so much she stopped going to college in her 3rd year. Now, when I think of her, my eyes automatically get watery. My eyes go cry mode at the thought or any reminder of her and it might be so intense that after a while, I dissociate and go numb. Even if I don't feel anything, I still feel overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. I lost her physically and ruined her life and she still wants me but we lost each other. What do I do? Do I avoid thinking of her in any way or repeatedly go numb, cry and repeat this cycle and somehow I can exhaust it? What to do?

Hello sirprize: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest would be the relationships & communication forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...communication/

You might also like to check out the men-focused support forum:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/men-focused-support/

I'm sorry I don't think I really have much in the way of advice for you here. If this truly is the end of your relationship with this lady I guess what I can perhaps say is that time really does heal wounds. You will never forget her. But the pain you feel now will subside. There is a practice I use to manage disturbing thoughts. It is called compassionate abiding. Here's a link to a description of the practice:

Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101 | Mindset: Perspective Is Everything

And then here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of healing from heartbreak:

Help on Healing from Heartbreak

10 Tips to Mend a Broken Heart

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/succe...ow-to-recover/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-tip...ng-heartbreak/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/growth...dium=popular17

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, sirprize111 It always hurts us so much when the people we love get away from us. I'm so sorry. You'll get over this, I'm sure of that, but it will take time. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. I feel like that may really help you. You'll never forget her, but hopefully at least the pain will ease a little bit. I completely agree with what Skeezyks has already wisely said better than I ever could. I'd suggest to listen to him if you can! He always gives us great advice! Just take some time for yourself. Try to focus on yourself and take your time to heal your scars and wounds. Just take all the time you need. Just take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. No need to hurry. I hope things will get better soon for you. Try to find as many distractions for yourself as you can. Work on yourself as much as you can. You'll feel better about yourself and perhaps you'll meet someone else that will truly love you for who you truly are. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It's not your fault any of this happened. Things like this can just happen and it's no one's fault. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, sirprize111. Please don't give up. Try to hang on as much as you can. You can do this! You've got this! You're a strong, wonderful person! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! Keep fighting! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! You don't deserve to suffer at all! Nobody deserves to suffer at all, especially you! Remember that you're awesome! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this! Just try to do your best! That's all you can after all and it's more than enough! Trust me when I say that! I know things are pretty hard right now, but trust me when I say that things CAN and WILL get better! You can do this! You've got this! Please don't give up hope! Remember that you're awesome and strong! Keep fighting! We all believe in you!