I want to quit

I really want to quit my language class. I'm also sick of church, but I won't quit it completely.

The ongoing saga of my life.

I want to put my energy elsewhere.

I feel like if I quit, I will be telling some, that I really have failed. But I want to quit. I want to put my energy elsewhere.

What kind of language were you learning Ptak?

I don't really want to say. It is just for recreation. I may take the day off this week. Figure it out later.

Some people judge me for starting and stopping things. Not following through. I guess I judge myself too. I try so hard to make myself fit the way the world wants me to. But I'm watching a movie tonight and checking OUT.

What would you be doing for yourself if you weren't......
What would your goals for your own life actually be? Where do YOU want to put your energy & what do YOU want to accomplish?

Choosing to quit doesn't always mean that you have failed, though I can see how it can feel that way. There is nothing wrong with making a choice to put your time and energy somewhere else that may prove to be more fruitful and bring you joy.

I hope you can lessen the judgments you have for yourself--you don't deserve to be judged, though easier said than done. It sounds like you're trying to figure things out and that's perfectly okay. I also hope you can allow yourself to do what makes you feel good instead of trying to fit into someone else's vision of who you should be. No one's path is the same and we can't measure ourselves against others.

Sending positive thoughts your way!

Thanks.

I just want to note that the language class was something I tried on the Fall. I enjoyed it but then when the next round came up, life sort of happened for me, I was busy, stressed, and couldn't do the class. So it's spring, I'm taking the class again, and I only have 6 classes left. I would like to do my best to finish. And then reassess when it's over. I think a lot of my wanting to quit, is that I haven't studied this week, and have been procrastinating like crazy on studying. I know I will be behind if I go to class not having studied. But yeah no one is forcing me to be there. I am getting "support" though, and that person may be disappointed if I quit. I am probably going to stick it out. Maybe it's a learning / self exploration experience.

However, I wrote some things down in my journal last night about "Where I want my energy to go":

-I want to play basketball and dance. They're two things I did as a kid. I miss both. I also want to jog on the treadmill with music.

-There are certain books I want to read.

-I want to volunteer for a house building project and committee. Even though it feels quite out of my depths. The person I contacted was very nice, and excited to have me.

-I want to continue crafting. I knit and make jewelry.

-I want to continue meditating.

There are other things too, but I think this is a good list for now.

Thank you smmath. It rings true for me too, that no one's path is the same. I also think that we are all different, and what might work for one person, may not work for another.

Thank you for the kind words.

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, Ptak Please don't be so hard on yourself! You're NOT a failure ! You're quite the opposite! You're doing and trying a lot of things in your life and you're keeping yourself active and busy! You're doing a lot more than I'm doing! Please don't feel guilty about interrupting things often! I believe life is all about choices and trying out new things like you're doing! I think it's wonderful that you're being so active! I also believe it's important for you to focus on YOURSELF nad try to understand what YOU want to do and not what other expect you or want you to do! It's your own life and you need to live it the way you like it! I hope you'll be able to judge yourself a little bit less! Just take all the time you need to do all of this! Just take it one step at the time! Take baby steps! No need to hurry! I'm sure you'll be able to find something that you truly like to do somesay! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! You're a strong, wonderful person! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! We're all cheering you on! Sending many hugs to you, ptak! Remember that you're an awesome, strong warrior! Please remember that! We all know that! We all believe in you! I hope you'll be able to believe in yourself as well! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this! You can do this! You've got this! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! Keep fighting! You're the best!

Sometimes quitting is just a realization that something we thought might work for us or that we thought would be an interest really isn't.

I got my AA degree in music (1973) but when I transferred to the 4 year university & compared my level of talent on my flute with others at my same level. I decided to quit my music major. I didn't stop playing in chamber groups at the level I was ok at but I changed my major completely as a junior. Everyone thought I was crazy because it was going to take another 4 years to get my BS in Accounting & Computer Science. I just didn't have what I knew I needed to be a music major & make a career out if it. To everyone around it looked like I was quitting when in reality I was just starting down a new path (which I did successfully accomplish)

Lol....I have lots of projects started & then set aside. Not really quit but for the time being & my house will probably NEVER get fixed the way it needs to. Sometimes that is just how life works & each individual has their own priorities.

Quit those boring things, and do what you like to do. Nothing wrong with that!

Update: I decided to stick with Polish. I also decided today to stop going to church and meditation. It is not a safe space anymore for me and I've been unhappy there for a while.

(((((((Ptak))))))))

Thanks for the hug Bill. It is probably going to be a process. I feel more negatively about that meditation group than I do about church. And I may still go to church sometimes. They also have events I've enjoyed. And someone there who I like very much had a stroke, and I want to keep updated with her too. I hope she still remembers me. It affected her cognition.

Basically, it (meditation group) was not enjoyable today. It was painful. I don't really want to talk about why.

I’m glad that you are choosing what is healthy and safe for you.

I’m sending hugs

Thank you Fuzzy! Hugs back