Thou shalt not hath hopes an dreams

I only realize I have been living on a single hope until I find it is a broken promise. This is the second time this is happening in the past 3 months, and the previous time I ended up in hospital.

I'm broken down again, there is no rest in my head, yet all alone at home for several days.

I have developed a hatred towards womankind. They hate each other and keep grudges, never coming into peace among themselves, and they drag me into their problems. And they slander and draw things out of proportion. In the end I get blamed for their silly grudges. And they are sooo shallow and superficial. No matter what you give, they are never satisfied or grateful.

People in my profession value me, but the ones that matters to me see no value in me. To them I'm a total loser.

I'm tired of all this. Now, the single hope I didn't know I had, that made me living, is not going to happen. I'm so alone, it is so silent outside and too loud inside my head.

I find it hard to find another reason to live on, something to fill the void inside with. I'm worried about my daughter. I don't want to see her end up like her mom.

They are all conspiring against me. I don't understand what they expect from me. There is no point I'm telling anything to them. I found it utter useless to be honest with a woman. They use everything you tell them against you. I don't know what they expect from all this. They don't even let me end all this. I feel like all those woman take pleasure in teasing and tormenting me.

I'm sorry you feel so angry and broken, vishva8kumara "I only realize I have been living on a single hope until I find it is a broken promise". Do you mind telling us what do you mean by that? Maybe this will be a good place to start, so that you'll feel better. I know what it feels like to feel like there's no reason to live on, an that it's so unfair that this should affect ones that you care about. I'm sure a lot of us at PC have been there. But a lot of us are still here, alive. Hope you feel better.

Thanks for sharing this with us. Even though people in the past have complimented my ability to relate to others, including women there have been times, especially recently in my dating blunders that I have felt the same way. I hope that you take at least a small grain of hope knowing that you aren't alone in these feelings.

If it is possible to draw boundaries with the toxic relationships in your life you are probably referring to, please do that as soon as possible. It is totally fine to take some extra time to yourself apart from problematic spouses, partner, etc, in order to regroup. Hopefully this can weed out some of the people in your life that have some of the negative traits that you want to avoid.