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Old 04-19-2019, 11:37 AM #21
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

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Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
The friend who said “I hope it works out” does sound like a rude comment to me also .... was she having a bad day? How to distance from the negative, a very good question. If they are repeatedly negative and rude, they aren’t a friend ... their opinion which they spout out is about them and their insecurities. Could it be this friend is jealous. I don’t know

Thanks Fuzzy! I think it could be jealousy and/or bad experiences with relationships or marriage. Totally a rude comment! But it’s for her to own and for me not to internalize. She clearly is struggling with something that’s not making her happy.
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Old 04-19-2019, 01:50 PM #22
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

So, to elaborate further:

My friend who talked down to me on the phone? Who kept saying to me "do you understand?" as though I have no comprehension of anything?? She doesn't feel she has any power or voice at work, so she is trying to have power over me by talking down to me, as though I am 5 and know nothing of the world and how it works. She has done this for ages. She is loud and has a strong presence in a room. She likes to be heard and needs to feel important. So that's her way of feeling important. Well, if she feels crappy about not having any voice or power at work, and if she doesn't feel empowered in her life, then fix it somehow, but don't treat me like I'm a 5 year old. And I don't need to feel small as a result of how she talked to me. It's HER crap coming out in a way that was condescending towards me. I won't be talking to her for a long time, that's for sure. I've even pointed this out to her in the past, mind you.

And my co-worker who insulted me at work in front of my two colleagues? Same thing. And the woman who said "I hope it works out"? Same thing.

It's all their crap coming out and onto ME.

And the thing is? People do this all the time. I don't point fingers and I'm not throwing stones because I could be guilty of it myself at times without even knowing it. But there are certain things I just would never say to someone, such as "I hope it works out" JUST before someone's getting married. That was a really crappy thing to say. I now think that woman is a total A-hole and NOT the nice person I thought she was.

Ok, I'm now done with being on my soap box. lol. Rant rant rant. lol!
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