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Old 04-19-2019, 06:10 AM #1
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Default How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

I have been receiving a lot of negative input lately, from different directions... from friends and from work.

I was insulted at work by a colleague, in front of other colleagues. A close gf of mine talked down to me the other day on the phone, repeating to me "do you understand?" as though I am a 5 year-old. Then a new gf told me and my fiance, just before we're getting married "I hope it works out".

I feel flooded by negative input and need to emotionally distance myself from all of it.

How does one accomplish that exactly?

Right now, I am totally sick of people and don't even want to be around anyone. I want to hole up by myself in response.

But I still have to work, and we're going out this weekend, so I will see friends.

But honestly? I don't want to see a single person.
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Old 04-19-2019, 06:17 AM #2
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

Iím working on the same issue, trying to not let others negativity put me into a bad mood.

Iíll try to take a deep breath, step back, not confront, and try to put it out of my mind. Itís their problem, not yours.
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Old 04-19-2019, 06:26 AM #3
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

Thanks, Tisha! I actually DID confront the one woman on her comment to me and my fiance. I wrote about it in the relationship forum. That helped me a little bit. I wasn't going to let it slide. But yeah, typically, I will allow negative input from others to eat me up inside for days on end. I don't want to do that right now. I want to learn how to distance myself from it and not allow it to effect me so much.
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Old 04-19-2019, 06:29 AM #4
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

I let it eat me up inside, too! We gotta stop this!

I saw your other thread. People tend to say such thoughtless things. Itís a reflection of what is in them, not of you.
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Old 04-19-2019, 06:31 AM #5
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

Omg, they do!!!!!! Yes, so how do we stop it? I's easy to distract oneself, but for me, the thoughts & bad feelings inevitably come back. We need a method!!!! lol. Hmm... so how do you stop yourself from feeling bad from negative input from others? The million dollar question of the day!
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Old 04-19-2019, 06:52 AM #6
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

Radical acceptance. People are what they are. They say and do hurtful things. If we have nothing to do with them, we are lonely and isolated and very unhappy. If we have enough to do with them that we feel connected, we need to protect and control ourselves to not fall into their crap.
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Old 04-19-2019, 06:59 AM #7
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

I don't know about that. I don't accept the unacceptable. When people do and say unacceptable things, I cannot just radically accept it.
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Old 04-19-2019, 07:02 AM #8
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

I agree with @Trishabuv. Radical acceptance helps me. Its really hard not to let people who say nasty things to us to let it go. Part of what helps me is to acknowledge to myself that there is no truth to what has been said. I seriously think about it too. I think about if there is anything I did to encourage such unsolicited advice and usually there isn't anything. One attitude I have adjusted which is really freeing is...a I'll try to be PG here but its the F**k off attitude. If someone has an opinion about me or says something to me they can go f**k themselves. I am not saying that telling them that is the best choice(although I admit I have said it to someone before and the shock value is priceless) but its very freeing. Even said to yourself is freeing. Seriously, who asked for the comments? Who are they to say crap to me (especially if they need to take their own advice)? I find that some people say to me what they do not like or fear in themselves. Isn't it easier to criticize people then turn the lens inwards sometimes? I am very flawed and far from perfect but in no way am I going to give someone else's useless, baseless, stupid,ignorant, insignificant, unhelpful, nasty, any power in my life. Easier said then done of course. You got this girl!
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Old 04-19-2019, 07:03 AM #9
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

But, I have found they all do, somewhat. Even my kindest friends have uttered something not so thoughtful one time, maybe.

Definitely eliminate people who are often too negative though. Thatís self protection.
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Old 04-19-2019, 07:06 AM #10
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Default Re: How to Distance Yourself From the Negative?

ďpeople say to me what they do not like or fear in themselves.Ē True! And what makes us reel over the comment is that is is somewhat true about us and we start obsessing over them getting under our thin skin.
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