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Anonymous32451
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Default Apr 26, 2019 at 10:26 AM
  #1
yesterday evening I got a spam email from someone who told me that she was

Possible trigger:


and needed someone to pay for her last bit of treatment

I deleted it, because deep down, I know that's what it is, a woman who is searching for people to probably steal bank information off (and probably a lot more besides)

but now I feel really bad, because I sat back and did absolutely nothing to help her

it's almost like I'm letting her die anyway

am I too nice?

feeling bad for not helping someone who probably had diffrent intentions?
I want to search her name and send her a message or something

I feel terrible
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dfdfdfdfdf
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Default Apr 26, 2019 at 12:04 PM
  #2
I would try not to think about it. Yes, it's possible that it isn't spam but it's much more likely that it is spam and that they are trying to get money off you for malicious purposes. If there's not enough evidence that it's legit, then it isn't imo
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Default Apr 26, 2019 at 02:58 PM
  #3
If it was a stranger asking for money then certainly it’s a spam and she doesn’t have cancer.
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Default Apr 26, 2019 at 03:05 PM
  #4
There have been sooooo many stories about scammers and cancer that I wouldn't trust that it was true.

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Default May 02, 2019 at 06:38 PM
  #5
I think it was almost certainly spam

I don’t think you’re “too nice” - there aren’t enough kind people around..

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Default May 19, 2019 at 10:46 AM
  #6
Don't feel bad for not encouraging spamming!
If she actually had cancer, she could ask some place else as there are quite a few people willing to donate to cancer patients. Gofundme for example.
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Default May 21, 2019 at 12:29 PM
  #7
1. did you know this person?
2. if you did not, then how did they get your e mail?
3. if you did not, then why would they send you an e mail asking for $$$?

this was someone looking for a person who would stop for just that one second and do just like you did.."oh she's dying from cancer, let me help" and send $$$....there is no one dying from cancer, but when you send that check, or more then likely cash because it's easier to work with you will never hear form then again. and they will work that scam on people all over the country and get thousands of dollars.

people who are sick can use go fund me pages, other fund raisers, etc to help raise funds. they don't have to resort to calling total strangers for cash.

don't feel guilty, 99% of the phone calls for cash are scams. never give anything to them. ever.
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Default May 21, 2019 at 01:41 PM
  #8
Hi Raging Vortex,

what an interesting post and issue you raised! Sorry you are feeling badly!

I think it is unlikely that someone struggling with cancer would contact a complete stranger for financial assistance. That said, let's imagine it really is the case (which I very much doubt) it is not your responsibility to financially support other adults. If you are a parent of 'minor' children, yes you would have a responsibility to support them financially until age 18. Other adults need to take care of themselves. When they cannot, there are government and charitable services available to them. Folks with terminal illness are often linked to such services by their medical team.

If you feel a strong desire to help, you could volunteer at a hospice clinic, hospital, or homeless shelter or donate money/clothes/toys to one. Volunteers are always sought and appreciated.

Are you familiar with the concept of 'negative empathy?'
Negative Empathy | Psychology Today

I think you may find it useful and cathartic to read about it. I struggle with it myself at times. I appreciate the advice of allowing others' suffering to flow through us and then moving on with our life. Another way to think about it....you feeling badly today is not actually helping anyone with cancer....the negative empathy is just burning your energy.

I hope you find some peace. You deserve it
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Default May 28, 2019 at 09:08 AM
  #9
As most people have mentioned, the person who had contacted you may have not had cancer but rather it was just spam. I don't think it was legit because if she wanted money she could go on a GoFundMe or some funding website. It was in the spam folder, another reason I don't think it was legit.

Don't worry about being too nice. Yes, it is said that having of a good thing is bad but sometimes it can be good. Just be aware of the malicious people, and see if its worth helping or not. Other than that, continue being nice! It's something we all need from a person!

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I feel really bad for not helping a spammer
I feel really bad for not helping a spammer
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