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Default May 11, 2019 at 02:12 PM
  #1
Everyday I feel inferior to the people around me. Usually this is because of physical appearance, abilities or achievements. I can't help comparing myself to others and immediately feeling worthless.

Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Default May 12, 2019 at 12:46 PM
  #2
Comparing your self to others is a sure way to keep feeling bad about yourself. Accept yourself as You. No judgment calls.

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Default May 12, 2019 at 12:48 PM
  #3
there may be people better than you, but there are worse ones too. I agree that comparing yourself doesn't do any good.
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Default May 14, 2019 at 02:19 PM
  #4
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Originally Posted by StripedTapir View Post
Everyday I feel inferior to the people around me. Usually this is because of physical appearance, abilities or achievements. I can't help comparing myself to others and immediately feeling worthless.

Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
- These judgements are originating from your conditioned physical mind (brain) - not from your higher aspect/identity, which supersedes the physical body and the human identity crafted around it. If you were to find practices and activities which have the effect of lessening the activity of your physical mind and lessening your identification with it (as a source of identity) - then you will find that these debilitating, self-defeating thoughts increasingly lessen. They lose their strength and influence on your state of consciousness.

- Physical appearances, abilities, achievements, these are all just temporary circumstances and experiences - they are not representative of anyone's actual higher nature/aspect... Again your physical mind (brain) is assigning value/importance where it does not actually exist (when looked at from a higher perspective)... The more you can connect with an assume a heightened state of awareness - the more you will see these circumstances clearly and the more you will lessen your conscious identification with thinking and perceiving in the manner which you previously had been (which was fueling these judgements and self-defeating thoughts)...

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Default May 14, 2019 at 02:20 PM
  #5
I completely agree with the other posters. Comparing self to others won’t help you... you’re unique and not to be compared with anyone

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Default May 15, 2019 at 05:54 PM
  #6
I think this is something that a lot of people do. I think it happens more than ever now because we are so connected on social media and everything in that world looks so perfect all the time. We definitely have to work on retraining our brain. There’s no other way around it than to work on our own thinking patterns. I’m right there with you. I try to work on this all the time. How to cope with feeling inferior?
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Default May 15, 2019 at 05:56 PM
  #7
It's true a lot of people compare themselves to others. My parents also used to compare me to other people's kids, so it's a habit I learned. I'm trying to train myself out of it by reminding myself that everyone has problems.
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Default May 15, 2019 at 11:20 PM
  #8
Striped, you know where the real/worth value lies?

In your state of consciousness and your character as it relates to your ability to embody and express the various virtues - compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding/acceptance, forgiveness, kindness, generosity, selflessness, altruism, etc... It's these qualities and your ability to embody and experience/express them that dictate your overall state of consciousness (state of being). This is where the value lies because your state of consciousness is all you get bring with you at the time of your physical passing.

Your physical body, no matter how beautiful or seemingly flawed - gets left behind and will completely loses its former relevance. So it's futile to continue operating in a manner where one's physical body and appearance is consciously identified with and relied upon to derive one's sense of worth... The challenging part is letting go of one's former manner of thinking & perceiving which has been deeply ingrained - it's a gradual process... Something you keep chipping away at over time...

Career achievements, professional status, awards, fame/recognition, wealth, material possessions - all of this also gets left behind as well and loses its former significance to the person who once so strongly identified with it.... So clearly judging ourselves and others on the basis of such temporary circumstances which have no sense of permanence or staying power - this also cannot be where the real worth/value lies within each individual...

The physical world and the society we experience has it completely backwards - and the conditioning we're exposed to as a result of experiencing this physical world influences us to believe that these temporary factors (physical body/appearance, wealth, etc) are where all the value/importance lies... And valuing individuals on the basis of their character (state of consciousness) and not on the basis of their temporary circumstances (physical appearance, career, wealth, etc) is not something which gets reinforced and promoted in the least... This is something that you have to cultivate and reinforce internally, for yourself... The challenging part is that you will continue to experience a physical world where you are exposed to the external influences in the form of media, advertising, and other peoples' judgements and opinions who have not yet realized where the real value/worth lies (both in themselves and in others). So you may come to embody the awareness/understanding that who you are is not your physical identity - but you may continue to have interactions with others who do still operate within the limited state of awareness and continue to judge themselves and others on that basis. They just haven't figured it out yet, and ultimately, that's okay...

So you see you could be physically unattractive, not have a penny to your name, and living in a homeless shelter - and your real sense of value/worth will still reside with your state of consciousness (your character, your state of being) and NOT with any of those temporary circumstances you were temporarily experiencing during the course of your temporary human experience... If you experience a substantial amount of conscious growth during your lifetime and further refine/evolve your state of consciousness (which includes the ability to embody/express the various virtues) - THAT is where real value/importance is found from your life experience. Not on the basis of what your temporary body looked like, not on the basis of how much money you earned or how many material possessions you accumulated, etc... When you further refine and improve the quality of your consciousness - those changes are permanent - and this is what you leave here with...

The more you refine yourself, improve the quality of your state of consciousness, and lessen/relinquish your conscious identification with that which does not have any real value and permanence - the more you will come to perceive yourself and the physical world in an entirely new light, the less suffering/hurting you will consciously experience, and the more joy & reward you will find in helping and supporting others... This is how you free/liberate yourself - from the underlying sense of incompleteness and lack of wholeness that comes from the experience of consciously identifying with that which is impermanent and ultimately not 'you' (your higher, transcendental nature)...

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Default May 20, 2019 at 02:21 AM
  #9
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Originally Posted by wolfgaze View Post
Striped, you know where the real/worth value lies?

In your state of consciousness and your character as it relates to your ability to embody and express the various virtues - compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding/acceptance, forgiveness, kindness, generosity, selflessness, altruism, etc... It's these qualities and your ability to embody and experience/express them that dictate your overall state of consciousness (state of being). This is where the value lies because your state of consciousness is all you get bring with you at the time of your physical passing.

Your physical body, no matter how beautiful or seemingly flawed - gets left behind and will completely loses its former relevance. So it's futile to continue operating in a manner where one's physical body and appearance is consciously identified with and relied upon to derive one's sense of worth... The challenging part is letting go of one's former manner of thinking & perceiving which has been deeply ingrained - it's a gradual process... Something you keep chipping away at over time...

Career achievements, professional status, awards, fame/recognition, wealth, material possessions - all of this also gets left behind as well and loses its former significance to the person who once so strongly identified with it.... So clearly judging ourselves and others on the basis of such temporary circumstances which have no sense of permanence or staying power - this also cannot be where the real worth/value lies within each individual...

The physical world and the society we experience has it completely backwards - and the conditioning we're exposed to as a result of experiencing this physical world influences us to believe that these temporary factors (physical body/appearance, wealth, etc) are where all the value/importance lies... And valuing individuals on the basis of their character (state of consciousness) and not on the basis of their temporary circumstances (physical appearance, career, wealth, etc) is not something which gets reinforced and promoted in the least... This is something that you have to cultivate and reinforce internally, for yourself... The challenging part is that you will continue to experience a physical world where you are exposed to the external influences in the form of media, advertising, and other peoples' judgements and opinions who have not yet realized where the real value/worth lies (both in themselves and in others). So you may come to embody the awareness/understanding that who you are is not your physical identity - but you may continue to have interactions with others who do still operate within the limited state of awareness and continue to judge themselves and others on that basis. They just haven't figured it out yet, and ultimately, that's okay...
Thank you for your response! I've been thinking about it a lot and have trying to change my mindset.
When I am alone I can agree that it's what's inside that matters, but as soon as I am around other people I feel worthless and inferior again.
How can learn to value my character when I feel like no one else does?
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Default May 20, 2019 at 06:12 AM
  #10
There's no need to compare yourself to other, StripedTapir! You're BEAUTIFUL and UNIQUE just the way you are! You don't need to change just to fit other people's standards! I completely agree with what all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! Finding the value and worth within ourselves when there are NO PEOPLE SUPPORTING US i certainly very hard, but it CAN be done! Please NEVER give up hope! Try to HANG ON AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new things and new ways to cope with your feelings! Please DO consider seeking help if you're feeling SO BAD, ok? Let us know how things are going for you and if things are ANY BETTER FOR YOU and if there's ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to HELP YOU OUT! WE ALL DO CARE ABOUT YOU! Sending many warm, safe hugs to you, StripedTapir!
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Default May 20, 2019 at 09:07 AM
  #11
Mickey, thank you very much
I am on a waiting list for therapy. Been waiting 4 months so hopefully I can get some help soon.
I will keep on trying
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Default May 20, 2019 at 09:20 PM
  #12
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Originally Posted by StripedTapir View Post
Thank you for your response! I've been thinking about it a lot and have trying to change my mindset.
When I am alone I can agree that it's what's inside that matters, but as soon as I am around other people I feel worthless and inferior again.
How can learn to value my character when I feel like no one else does?
You have to continue to routinely and repeatedly feed and reinforce this awareness within yourself - and this will eventually lead to a complete shift in how you perceive yourself and others...

If you were training to get in shape and run a marathon - you can't accomplish this by only training a little bit here and there... You would have to continue to 'exercise' and work away at this repeatedly in order to eventually accomplish your goal... The same analogy applies here... Cultivating and reinforcing a higher/heightened state of awareness is like an 'exercise' for your state of consciousness (conscious energy)... You have to put in the hard work (inner-work) and train yourself gradually over time... Slow going at first but really picks up steam as you move further along...

Right now the old/limited awareness is still predominant and feels like reality - which is completely understandable... The new/heightened awareness feels like it's something off in the background, and it doesn't feel like it's completely real/valid... You have to work to reverse this and flip it around! Then the new/heightened awareness will eventually become what's predominant - and the former/old awareness of existing as a physical identity, that will be something relegated to the background and will no longer hold its former relevance/significance...

~WOLF

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Default May 29, 2019 at 01:01 AM
  #13
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Everyday I feel inferior to the people around me. Usually this is because of physical appearance, abilities or achievements. I can't help comparing myself to others and immediately feeling worthless.

Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Write down all the compliments that people have given you and read it to yourself as an affirmation.

Even something small as "I like your sweater" can translate into "You have a good taste."

A gratitude received can also be counted as a compliment.

For example, if someone said, "Thank you, that is so nice of you." You can take that as a compliment that you are an exceptionally nice person.

I have a compliment for you: You are self-aware and diligent about self-growth. That's evident from you coming here to post this.
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