My uncle died

Jun 02, 2019 at 03:32 PM

And I don't feel anything.

Lookit.. this was always my most hated uncle. I don't think he liked me and as a kid there were a few times he was just disingenuous to me. But most of all I always thought he didn't like my DAD and I hold a grudge.

He was the little brother and my dad would do anything for him because he was the little brother but I didn't like it. So many times as a kid and a teen when we would be over his house or over mine I wanted to tell him off.

I haven't really had anything to do with him in quite some time.

But I feel like I should feel something. My sister was close with him and of course had to update me every 10 seconds but... I just feel like that was them... and it doesn't reflect on me.

happysobercrafter · Jun 02, 2019 at 04:15 PM

I am so sorry to hear this!! How can I help you?

Mopey · Jun 02, 2019 at 09:29 PM

Hello Miss Emily.

Haven’t had much luck highlighting on my iPhone or I would have, but you said you felt as if you should feel something but you don’t.

Looking at how you’ve described your relationship with your uncle in the past, personally I don’t see why you should feel anything except possibly relief.

It may be that in the months following some memories may bubble up and you will feel things.

But personally I see no reason for you to dissolve in alligator tears at the present time

Jun 03, 2019 at 06:00 AM

So my sister wants me to go to the wake (there is no funeral) she is being really obnoxious and has threatened to come over my house and make me go.

What a child. I suspect this will be a massive issue if I don't go. But I don't want to go and I feel like I have earned that right as an adult. I already told her I wasn't going to go.

MickeyCheeky · Jun 03, 2019 at 06:07 AM

You have NO OBLIGATION to go if you don't want to, Emily Fox Seaton, regardless of what other people say!

I COMPLETELY AGREE with what all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I EVER COULD! Everyone copes with death their own way and there's NOTHING WRONG if you didn't feel particularly sad about that especially if you didn't have a good relationship with him!

Just decline the offer if you don't want to go! You have EVERY RIGHT to decide by yourself like you've already wisely said! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Emily Fox Seaton!

Travelinglady · Jun 03, 2019 at 08:54 AM

Think of some excuse, like the bubonic plague, and don't go. Although you don't need one, it will smooth over your feelings.

I know we rightly feel closer to some relatives than others.

URBeautiful · Jun 03, 2019 at 05:02 PM

I am in a similar situation right now. I was recently told my great grandma has maybe a year left to live. I feel as though this should make me sad, but I do not feel anything really. She has always made super snarky comments towards me and in her house she has pictures of every grandkid and great grandkid but me. I'm really not sure why she doesn't like me. Maybe I threw up on her as a baby or something.

I'm a firm believer that family is who you make it. He might of been blood but blood doesn't make him family. This being said I am sorry for you loss. You are not obligated to go to the funeral. That being said if you choice to go to save you from arguements go for your family there you love and care about. Don't go for your uncle but go to support your family and sister.

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happysobercrafter Elder Member Since Jul 2017 Location: MO Posts: 5,677 (SuperPoster!) 6 9,930 hugs given	Jun 02, 2019 at 04:15 PM #2 I am so sorry to hear this!! How can I help you? __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter
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Anonymous45521 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 03, 2019 at 06:00 AM #4 So my sister wants me to go to the wake (there is no funeral) she is being really obnoxious and has threatened to come over my house and make me go. What a child. I suspect this will be a massive issue if I don't go. But I don't want to go and I feel like I have earned that right as an adult. I already told her I wasn't going to go.
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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 47,943 (SuperPoster!) 13 22.9k hugs given	Jun 03, 2019 at 08:54 AM #6 Think of some excuse, like the bubonic plague, and don't go. Although you don't need one, it will smooth over your feelings. I know we rightly feel closer to some relatives than others.
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