Help to distinguish between being offended and harmed

I just laughed out loud at "le rag"

Perhaps I should have said that to make her laugh and smooth everything over. yeah right!!!

One thing I don't like doing is walking on eggshells around people. I grew up in a family where I had to do that constantly. It led me to be close to silent at home for many years.

Thanks for sharing the article. It's such an interesting read.

I simply think that being harmed is when someone endanger you; whether it is your life, your reputation, your physical, etc including your emotion. The damage is higher and may lasted for the entire life. Verbal abuse is one of the example.
being offended is when someone hurt your feelings, but not causing any danger. I consider this as an insult that you can forget easily. In some cases, it also can be denial, for example like a positive criticism you cannot accept.

I admit the article is kind of vague, but unaluna has explained this clearly (to me). Just putting my two cents here.

Great points. Thank you for sharing.

That's intersting I just saw this post SilverTrees. I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness today. I find forgiveness helpful AND challenging, but not undoable. I have heard forgiveness be described as not linear. Much like recovery. You have good days and bad days with it. Depending on the harm or offense.

I sort of got the sense that he was making offenses seem lighter. I sort of skimmed it though. If you feel hurt by someone, you feel hurt by them. There may not be consequences to your job or reputation or physical body, but there are consequences of someones actions or words towards you to your psyche, heart, and soul. So I'm not sure I 100% see hurt and offended in the light that he puts it. But I see what he is saying.

I also have been thinking a LOT lately, about conflict resolution and communication skills. Sometimes depressed and anxious and traumatized people, don't have such skills. And its not anybody's fault. Sometimes people just aren't getting the best help for their illnesses and problems, and they are stuck. That is understandable because there are not always well skilled or trained therapists available and not everyone is raised with that sort of guidance. Sometimes people don't have the means for that either (not enough finances to afford good therapy). And etc. But nonetheless, learning how to deal with conflict, be assertive, and communicate effectively, does wonders for peoples relationships. I'm probably going much off topic. Oh well.

I do think that that offense vs harmed can put things in perspective. I think the line can be VERY blurry. But like he said, he prescribes forgiveness to both offense and harmed. I see value in forgiveness.