Relying on Old Coping Mechanisms

Once you figure out if a coping mechanism is bad for you or not great, are you ever tempted to go back to it despite knowing you shouldn't?

How do you deal with the temptation? What was your experience like?

In my experience, I have definitely been tempted to go back to old, negative coping mechanisms, and often fall back into familiar patterns. I think that the condition of being human means that we generally love patterns and rhythm and routine; that being said, it is important that we all exercise grace with ourselves and others as we learn and grow out of our old ways. I have found that bad coping mechanisms are often symptomatic of deeper, underlying issues. While fixing the symptoms may alleviate temporary pain and discomfort, addressing the root problem first is generally better long-term.

In the book, How to Change Your Mind for Good in 21 Days, Sir John Hargrave gives a helpful tool that I refer to often when trying to reform my habits. He refers to it as METAL (my emotion-thought-action loop). Essentially, what he recommends, is to first write down the emotion(s) you are feeling, the thoughts that follow, and the actions that result. He suggests that while we can't change our emotions, changing the thoughts that we often repeat can be key to changing our actions (i.e. coping mechanisms).

Here's a link to the book I referenced. You may find it helpful! Introduction * Mind Hacking

I wish you the best on your growth journey! May you find greater love and peace and joy along the way.

I know what you mean, KD1980! I do believe it is normal to want to do that like vesseloflove has already wisely said better than I ever could! It is important NOT to fall back into these old routines though! Have you been able to find HEALTHY coping skills for you? Either way, I'd suggest to stop before dong anything that may be hurtful for you and reflect about what you're doing or what you're about to do! It DOES take a lot of self-control but I'm sure you can make if you just TRY TO DO YOUR BEST! Trying is ALL we humans can do after all! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new things and new ways to help you cope with your feelings! I DO believe it is important to learn new coping skill if we want to "get over" the older, more harmful ones! I'd definitely try to look up for them! Perhaps there are some good books ont he subject! I'd suggest you to look them up if you can and want to! Let us know if you can find what you're looking for! We're ALL ALWAYS here for you if you need advice and support! THAT'S A PROMISE! Let us know how things are going for you if you want to! WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN YOUR LIFE! Sending many AWESOME, kind, safe, sweet, warm, wise and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, KD1980, JUST LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE!

This is excellent advice. Thank you so much.

Thank you. I am getting better at catching myself when I feel like falling. I'm not quite healed so it's hard. Actually, I will inbox you to tell you the full story.