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vsw4
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Default Jun 13, 2019 at 01:52 PM
  #1
Hey all, I am new to this page and I really just need some advice. I am convinced that someone in my family is being manipulated into joining a cult. She claims that it is all biblical and that it is not a cult, but with all the reviews online they say otherwise. I honestly do not know what to do, because I love her and I do not want to see her get hurt or be sucked into something she does not know what it is. She is very vulnerable and homesick, because she lives in Arizona alone, while her family is all in Ohio.

what do i do, or what can i do?
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Default Jun 13, 2019 at 04:20 PM
  #2
Offer to go to a function with her and see what its all about for yourself.

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Default Jun 13, 2019 at 06:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vsw4 View Post
Hey all, I am new to this page and I really just need some advice. I am convinced that someone in my family is being manipulated into joining a cult. She claims that it is all biblical and that it is not a cult, but with all the reviews online they say otherwise. I honestly do not know what to do, because I love her and I do not want to see her get hurt or be sucked into something she does not know what it is. She is very vulnerable and homesick, because she lives in Arizona alone, while her family is all in Ohio.

what do i do, or what can i do?
You can't do much since I assume she is an adult. Unless there is an actual crime involved (in which case you can inform the police), you need to let her make her own choices. Though I understand why that would be painful for you. You can just emphasize that you love her and you are always available to talk if she wants. You could also share with her a description of different examples of abuse (particularly emotional/psychological) for her to keep in mind.

Peace to you and your friend.
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Smile Jun 13, 2019 at 08:49 PM
  #4
Hello vsw: Since this is your first post here on PC, welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest would be the relationships & communication forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

I'm sorry I cannot be of help with this unfortunate situation. However, here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may in some way be of some help. It is part one of a two-part article. However it appears part two has yet to be completed or at least I couldn't find it:

Understanding Manipulative Mind Control and What to do About It (Part 1)

As has already been observed, assuming this person is an adult there may not be much you can do. I don't know if you've tried having a heart-to-heart discussion with this person regarding your concerns. That might be one thing to try. Here are links to 7 articles that discuss how to prepare for, & have, difficult conversations:

5 Ways to Prepare for a Difficult Conversation

Tips for Talking About Tough Topics

Effective Conversations About Difficult Issues | The Emotionally Sensitive Person

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/anger...kward-moments/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...ortable-truth/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...ets-defensive/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/anger...-conversation/

My best wishes to both you & your loved one. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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Default Jul 04, 2019 at 09:58 AM
  #5
Hello, I had my own family issues as well. I have been dealing with childhood neglect and it has been a terrible thing for me to cope and deal with over the years. I have been trying to find ways to get help hotlines numbers, and I do counseling. My parents have never known how to show the love for me, and it has affect how I feel about myself. I am finally glad to open about this because I need healing from all the pain that has caused me over the years. I am ready to let it out and let it go.
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Default Jul 05, 2019 at 08:05 PM
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My cousin is in a cult, which she doesn't acknowledge or label it as; but everyone knows that's what it is. They have conventions all over the U.S. that she attends. Her entire social network are members. I was supposed to visit her out of state twice, but due to poor finances, I postponed both visits. I'm relieved I had to, b/c I was worried what would happen during my visit with her; would she try to convert me?

How close are you to your family member? Do you live in AZ near her? Or, are you in Ohio with the rest of the family?

If the research and reviews you've pulled up online reveal it to be a cult, then it is. You could always attend one of her cult's meetings to see what it's like, and then use that as an opportunity to voice your concern. If you don't go and voice your concern, she'll just accuse you of not understanding. But if you attend a meeting, she'll have to acknowledge that your concern is credible (it's credible without you attending a meeting b/c you care about her well-being, but in her mind, since she is vulnerable and impressionable, any concern from "outsiders" is viewed as judgment).

Acknowledge your concern, let her know you'll always be there for her if she decides to join it, or leave it. If she knows you'll be a neutral source of support, she's more likely to remain open with you about it. You can covertly monitor her involvement with that group by letting her bring it up in conversation. If it is Scientology, well, good luck. That is a scary organization. There's a center in nearly ever city/state, and country. There's one in my city and it gives me the creeps every time I have to go near it.
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Default Jul 06, 2019 at 06:06 AM
  #7
I'm so sorry you and your loved one are going through ALL of this, @vsw4 I agree with ALL the other wise posters. Just be near her and support her. Unfortunately she has every right to make her own decisions and you can't really force her to do otherwise. I'd say that your best bet is sto stay near him, make her understand that she's not alone and that you care about her and gradually make her understand that joining a cult may not be the best option for her and that it's unlikely that she will get the Love she's craving right now. Just be near her and support her. Seeing what this cult is about and going with her to one of these "reunions" may be helpful as well if you feel like it. I hope you and this person will be able to get otu of this situation! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, to her and to ALL of your family, vsw4!
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