2 weeks I will be homeless

And my anxiety is so bad I'm having a lot of panic attacks. I saw my doctor today but she wouldn't prescribe me any anti-anxiety meds. I don't know why. But that's the way it is. She did tell me she'd have their social worker call me tomorrow with low income housing options aka shelters. But I already put my name on the waiting lists for the only women shelters that there are in my cities (none exist in the suburbs).

No one responded to my post on Facebook asking local Facebook friends if they'd let me crash in their spare room (or on a couch). So, that's pretty telling. Not even my family members. My sister just called me and told me she'd let me sleep in my car in her driveway, but not insider her house b/c she has "boundaries" and doesn't want to disrupt her children's lives with me sleeping in her basement. Again, I don't know why sleeping in her basement would disrupt her family in a bad way, but that's her call so I'm stuck.

My mother's lease for her 55+ bldg. ends in 2 weeks so I'm pretty scared. Also, I have asked my grad instructor for an extension to finish the assignments, and told her that I'm going to be homeless in two weeks so that she knows the whole story. My program director is a **** because he wouldn't help me.

He said it's up to the instructor to grant course extensions. There isn't any other administrators I could go to, unless you count the university president and that would be ridiculous.

I have bad credit, no job, and those two things are what prevents me from getting a place to rent. So, I am scared I will have to drive around and find places to sleep in my car. How would I be able to focus on finishing my grad school course when I'm worried about where I will have to drive to sleep? I can drive to hospitals and Walmarts bc they are open 24/7 but I have to figure out how to protect myself too, if I can't find a roommate situation in the next 2 weeks.

Just all boils down to bad timing. I was living with my mom taking care of her, not working, and then she had a stroke and her dementia got so bad we had her moved to a memory care place, before I could find a full-time job. It just really disrupted my life.

I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I could help out somehow.

I am sorry to hear that

I’d see what social worker says. Maybe she knows of more options.

Personally i think I’d go into a shelter (if spots become available). Shelters have a goal of getting you employed and with roof above your head so hopefully they can offer guidance and give a push towards employment and they might help with low income subsidized housing. If I had no income and no one to help with money, I’d probably not go into a motel because it would get me further in debt. I’d focus on free housing-shelter and eventually hopefully subsidized housing and I’d focus on employment.

I volunteered in homeless shelters. The ones I volunteered at (in urban area) provided very good meals and nice facilities and staff was great. They really help ton of people

Good luck. Clearly you can’t rely on family (sleep on sister’s driveway?)

The problem is, I was told when I called my county today, that women without children are NOT considered an emergency priority for shelters...ever. Single mothers, abused women are priorities for shelters. But healthy, single, adult women are not considered a priority by shelters. Sad to say, that is what I was told over the phone when I called my local 211 line for information. A social worker told me that.

Workforce centers here help people find jobs but only by offering free computer time (which libraries offer) to search for jobs, classes on how to write a resume, how to interview for a job which is through the county. Homeless people can't just walk into a Workforce center to do these things. They have to get registered through the county by a social worker here, via a shelter.

But I can access my alma mater's library as an alum and my current grad school university's library as an enrolled student until my spring instructor either fails me if she won't grant me an extension to finish the assignments for her course, or I just give up and drop out of her class which has two classes left. I don't want to drop out of course. I want her to extend my time to finish the assignments while I find shelter.

The sad, sad, irony of posting my situation on Facebook and no one responding with a "yes, I'll help you." NO ONE. WTF!!! Well, now I know what these people think of Blanche: not much. Not much at all.

No, my sister won't let me sleep in her driveway. We had a chat tonight. She doesn't want me to traumatize her children by sleeping in her basement, in her driveway and while I hate her for turning me away, because I wouldn't do that (I would explain to my children that their aunt needed to stay with us for a month or two and how fun will that be, a built in babysitter!), I have to respect her choice. She clearly doesn't like or respect me enough to let me sleep in her basement and spend the summer with her kids while I get on my feet. I don't know why. I don't think I'm a horrible person, but clearly, my sister thinks I am.

I would rather spend my money on cheap motels for the next 3 months, then sleep in my car. I will do that if I have to. I already get SNAP food benefits and, being homeless, I can drive to specific shelters that offer free meals so I can save money on food that way. If I get a temp job, I will need stable shelter, so the cheap motel route looks like the way to go right now.

I joined a temp agency today and the recruiter wants to submit me for a 6 month role that starts next week. There is no way I'm going to live in my car and commute to this place while I try to finish my spring course if I get an extension. So I have a lot at stake here. Forget 'debt.' That's not an option. Save money for what?! I have to budget it to make sure I can pay the motels I use this summer until the end of September.

Who knows. Maybe I"ll only need to sleep in a cheap motel for the month of July while I finish my spring course assignments, if I get that temp job that starts next week. Then, I have proof of income again, to show prospective landlords, and money from my tuition refund to spent on a deposit and rent until I get the next tuition refund the end of September for the fall semester.

I'm so sorry you're in such a TERRIBLE situation, StreetcarBlanche! I hope you'll be able to figure it out one way or another! I completely agree with what all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! I hope you'll get that job and that this situation won't last for long! Hopefully you'll only have to make some sacrifices at the beginning and the rest will go smoothly! I wish I could do more to help you, StreetcarBlanche! I'm here for you if you need to talk! Feel free to PM me anytime! I hope things wil get better soon for you one way or another! Please keep us updated if you can and want to! You know we ALL care about you! THAT'S A PROMISE! Wish you the BEST OF LUCK in your life, StreetcarBlanche! Keep trying your best since that's ALL we humans can do and it's ALWAYS more than enough! PLEASE NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, StreetcarBlanche!

Could you get a job that doesn’t require online application or much of anything. Like retail? They hire everyone all the time, as long as you breathe you get hired..

Yes the pay is low but low pay is better than no pay. When you got to eat you’ll take low pay.

TJX company hires all the time (tjmax, Marshall’s, Homegoods, Sierra outpost). You’ll walk in fill out application and might already work tomorrow. It’s been my experience with retail, I periodically take side job in retail so it’s been my experience especially with TJX, hiring is quick and you can work as little or as much as you want. They also often hire coordinators who get paid a little more and can have full time hours if that’s what you want. You can also do stock in the back at odd hours like early mornings at least in Homegoods they hire for that

Check it out.

I've been homeless, free or cheap hotels is what I used. Casinos offer free nights. It was still hard, slept in my car two nights in a year of homelessness. Worked as well. Eventually moved in with mom, than got my own place, now in subsidized.

Retail work is not an option for me, for health reasons. I tried to work retail before but was unable to. So, it's just not an option for me ever again.

I did find a 105 page booklet online that is a homeless resource PDF so I will consult it for free meals and shelters etc.,.

update: Skimming through the booklet's housing resources, many of the housing descriptions read like this:

"must have proof of 30% income..." Well, if you're homeless you may not be working...

"must have a disability..."

"must have proof of long term homelessness..."

"Sober housing"

"housing for mentally ill. Must have a social worker and diagnosis."

The list goes on. Nowhere, does it state in these housing resources for the homeless, that you can be a single adult without all of those issues, to be eligible for housing help. I have to have children, be abused, be an alcoholic or drug addict, have a family of children and a husband who is also homeless, be severely mentally ill, be homeless for a long time....to qualify for any of these transitional housing resources. This is totally unfair.

I'm hoping this temp agency I joined yesterday will result in a temp job soon. But retail is not a good resource for me that works, because it triggered my asthma, my heart palpitation problems, swelled up my feet. And so I'm just not going to do that to myself again.

Sorry to hear you were homeless too Aviza for a year. Glad you are not homeless anymore. How did you work while you were homeless? How did you get qualified for a subsidized apartment?

I did find a few motels around here that advertise cheap nightly rates so I will give them a call.

I did live with my mother while I looked for a job, but she had a stroke and her dementia got worse and disrupted my second semester of grad school this spring.

Now she's finally in a memory care home, but I still don't have a full-time job yet or a place to live and I have to convince my grad school instructor to let me finish my assignments past the grading deadline for her course.

Aviza is on disability and continues working part time. You do have to be in line for subsidized housing for quite awhile though unless it’s an emergency. It would take some time. I know she waited for awhile.

All of this is not easy. Would be so much easier to temporarily stay with family or friends. Although not if you have horrible family members. I honestly would probably rather stay in a shelter than with my dad.

Hope you can stay in a motel for a bit with weekly rates

I can't imagine the stress you are going through.

Question: don't you have an MI dx that maybe you could use to get a social worker and get help getting into one of these shelters?

I think it's smart to just realize that you may have a few nights to spend in your car and figuring out how to do that safely. I do think that it's important to continue the search for a room for rent or roommates (which would require less of a proof of income - on this note, when I was in grad school my tuition refund statement was enough to prove proof of income; can you use that or ask if you can use that? Have you asked to use that to show your proof of income for the semester?)...continue the search for a room for rent or a roommate situation so that your time in your car or at a cheap motel is limited.

On another note, I know work options are somewhat limited, have you tried any freelancing sites for quick writing or copyediting/proof reading jobs, etc? You won't make same day cash but you will earn some money and that's something. As you continue it can grow into some substantial earnings. My suggestions are Thumbtack or UpWork. There are other sites but I've heard there of lesser quality. Don't know if you already tried this but wanted to suggest it. There are people who need academic help on those sites, like checking their homework, etc. Again, it might not be a lot to start but it could help and get you started somewhere. Could also get you some quick references...

With two weeks left in your apartment, I do hope that you will take a few minutes each day to soothe yourself and allow yourself a calming space to sort of save up for the stress that's to come. Even if it's just a few minutes of sitting still with deep breaths, as I can tell you are feeling the current and impending stress very acutely. I want you to know that I think often throughout the day if there are any ideas I can send your way. Know that we all care and want to help in whatever way we are able.

Seesaw

I can't imagine the stress you have now either. My heart breaks for you, truly.

I am assuming you have tried to get on disability?

I was homeless too for awhile due to psychosis. I was a stripper then which I don't recommend- all tips. I went to the Rescue Mission shelter in the area and slept there when space was available. Otherwise, I slept on benches. If you have money, save it to go to a motel. The Rescue Mission provided food once a day as long as you listened to the sermons. There are social workers at the Rescue Mission who told me to go home to my family which I did. I realize this is not an option for you so I recommend that you go the Rescue Mission or a nearby church and ask for help. Churches may offer you help too in your situation- Catholic, Baptist, etc. I hope you are receiving food stamps or some kind of government aid by now. I know your situation is dire. I feel for you and hope you find a solution to your situation. The last choice is to say you are suicidal and go to the emergency room. There they should assess you and if need be, send you to the hospital. This may give you some time and options while being hospitalized.

No, I don't need to go on disability because I don't have a mental illness. I have anxiety but I did DBT and CBT for it, and am seeing a free therapist now at a walk-in counseling center.

It's very stressful. Thanks for your support though. I appreciate it.

I'm really sorry to read about what you went through with your homeless situation. I'm glad you made it through that difficult period because it gives me hope that I can make it through this difficult period too.

I am going to view a student apartment on Monday morning for $800/month. I asked the landlord, "Do you rent to students who just have an award letter as proof of income?" and she said yes, she does. So...that gives me an inkling of hope.

I'm also going to look at a basement (200 square feet) for rent tonight at someone's house. I will find out what their lease requirements are, and hope they would be ok with a month-to-month option. It's a house owned by a single parent. The rent is the same as the 600 square foot student apartment.

The last option was a landlord who rejected me got back to me and said he'd rent the one bedroom to me for $800 if I paid first/last month's rent ($1600) plus $1000 (twice the normal deposit) and get a cosigner. So, $3600 which is nearly all that I have left of my spring tuition refund money.

My gut tells me this would be a bad situation. So, I'm going to decline his offer, because the student apartment wouldn't require me to put down $3600, only $800 + $200 deposit + $50 application fee.

Now, if my credit is an issue, I would put down another $800 from my spring tuition refund so that total down for the student apartment is $1800 vs. the $3600 that other landlord wants me to pay him. What do you all think?

My credit is BAD, and I am still waiting on a temp job so the only cards I have to play would be with my grad school financial aid award letter and my mother as a co-signer, despite the fact that she is in a nursing home with dementia.

Please everyone, cross your fingers that this student apartment situation on Monday next week works out for me. I feel like it's my best option.

I sincerely hope that your situation works out for you!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please tell us what happens.

I am really sorry to hear about your situation and that no one is willing to help you. It's too bad you live so far, if not I'd offer you a futon to crash on at least. while you figure something out. I will cross my fingers that one of those situations comes through. It nearly always seems that those without kids are the lowest priority for receiving assistance.

That one landlord sounds like he is really taking advantage of the situation. Some friends here that were looking for rentals went through a lot of that because there's a serious housing shortage - landlords would ask for huge deposits, co-signers that earn 5X the rent, payment of several months in advance, etc. Very abusive.

Well I have enough for a plane ticket, so get that futon ready!

I agree with you about the landlord being shady, wanting to take advantage of my misfortune by trying to overcharge me for the deposit, rent, etc. I turned him down. Yuck. Sorry to hear that your friends went through something similar!

I had a good meeting with the woman last night who is renting her basement out. She doesn't have an egress window (for escape from a fire or carbon monoxide poisoning) but I need shelter, so if she ok's me, I will probably just buy a fire extinguisher and hope for the best.

It's a small space but it would be better than sleeping in my car or vying for a shelter bed every night. Just until I can get back on my feet. Then next week I will go look at a one bedroom in an apartment complex that solely rents to students (bad credit and all), so that could be a possible solution too, if my application gets accepted.

The recruiter I showed my resume to this week, at the new temp agency I joined, won't submit me for a 6 month receptionist job because I won't write this as my professional summary, "I am looking for a job opportunity now after taking care of my mother."

I tried to explain to him that it's not appropriate to include personal information on a resume -- that information is not relevant to my job skills or work history -- but he was adamant that I do it (I refused because that's just dumb -- no one I know puts personal information like that on their work resume). So, I will have to just apply to more temp agencies this weekend if he's not going to submit me for jobs for that ridiculous reason about my resume content. This is exactly what I hate about temp agencies -- you're livelihood is at the whim of these recruiters. They can be real assholes and decide not to help you because they don't like you, or they can be very professional with you and decide to help you.

Perhaps he was hoping that information would help ease the explanation of gaps in your work history and job hopping?

Tell us what town u live in. Maybe someone here would give you a room in exchange for help around the house. Hope u have references.

So I put down a deposit on a one bedroom today. It's near my undergrad alma mater. But if my application gets denied, at least I have that woman's basement space to rent as a back-up option. Granted, $750 for 200 square feet of space with no egress window is a total ripoff, but it's shelter and that's my goal for now. I also asked her via email to write up a 3 month lease as I think that's enough time for me to get back on my feet and find a job and a better place to live AND for her to install an egress window. If she gets an egress window installed, then I will probably stay there through the winter months (pending my apartment application status if it gets denied this week). Hopefully, by the end of this week, I'll know where I will be living July 1st and it will all work out for the best. I still need to get my spring grad school class assignments finished and the instructor is willing to be flexible with me so that I can pass her course at least. The program director is an old white guy and he's pretty out of touch with reality, but he has to give her the approval to extend beyond the spring grade deadline which is two weeks away from today. There is NO WAY I can get all my 7 weeks of assignments done by 2 weeks. No way.

Is it reasonable to as the woman renting out her basement to do the following:

-buy a combo smoke detector/carbon monoxide detector for her basement space
-install an egress window
-tell me if her estranged husband will have access to get inside her house after he moves out
-draft a 3 month lease with these conditions on it for my safety?