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Default Jun 26, 2019 at 12:14 AM
  #1
Does anyone have advice on how to soothe emotional pain? During the day I can ignore it. At night it is on me like a load of bricks. It is important that I feel the pain and process. Are there healthy means of at least bringing it down to a level that feels less suffocating? Im open to any suggestions.

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Default Jun 26, 2019 at 10:55 AM
  #2
Can you describe your pain?
Do you understand where the pain arose from?

You can try sitting with your pain and quietly let it pass. Grieve whatever is causing the pain. (this varies for me)
Interact with your inner child. (this works better for me)
Self love helps distract away from the pain. (This takes a lot of practice to be effective and is not immediate)
You could try saying "I am having a emotional flashback, I feel afraid but I am not in any danger. I am in an adult body now."
Find support from others who truly understand.

I often find it hard to remember how to console myself at such times.

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Default Jun 26, 2019 at 12:18 PM
  #3
Unfortunately I don't have a lot of advice for you, FracturedPieces! I'd say that the FIRST important thing that you can is to recognize your pain and recognize that it is valid. Validate your own feelings. Remember that these feelings will pas and that they're ONLY feelings. They CAN pass and it CAN be worked on. I wish I've had something more substantial to offer to you! Please keep posting if it helps. I'm not sure if you're seeing a therapist but that may help you as well if you're seeing one! You could learn many new things and many new ways to cope with your feelings! Give it a thought if you're not seeing alreaydy, ok? Wish you LOTS of peace and love! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you and ALL the people you love and who love you, FracturedPieces! Let us know if there's ANYTHING we can do to help you out! WE'RE HERE FOR YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Stay safe and keep working on yourself! YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND YOU DO MATTER! THAT'S A PROMISE!
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Default Jun 26, 2019 at 01:34 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
Can you describe your pain?
Do you understand where the pain arose from?

You can try sitting with your pain and quietly let it pass. Grieve whatever is causing the pain. (this varies for me)
Interact with your inner child. (this works better for me)
Self love helps distract away from the pain. (This takes a lot of practice to be effective and is not immediate)
You could try saying "I am having a emotional flashback, I feel afraid but I am not in any danger. I am in an adult body now."
Find support from others who truly understand.

I often find it hard to remember how to console myself at such times.

Sending hugs to you
Good post. I struggle with this too.
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Default Jun 26, 2019 at 02:00 PM
  #5
There are several ways you can approach it, one of which is to talk the situation over with trusted persons or a therapist. So at least you can hash it out a little and get all the pieces out in the open for yourself where you can make sense of what happened. And sometimes just the act of sharing it (WITH THE RIGHT PERSON, I emphasize), just venting about it and sharing it, can provide some relief.

But if the pain is sourced in a current real situation such as a breakup, then you're pretty much stuck with the reality of it, which definitely sucks. I went through something like this about a year ago where I just wanted to die, and after employing the above technique of talking it over, I was still stuck with the reality of it. So then I have to go with what Thirty Shades suggests and just sit with your pain as long as you can. Hold still with it and let it wash over you. You may think it's going to kill you but it won't. I also used a technique where I visualized an entity who could comfort me, and I visualized putting my hand in the entity's hand and just sitting silently with the entirety while it comforted me as you might comfort a child. This helped a lot, over time. I had to keep doing it. Keep experiencing the pain until it finally let go.

You can only take so much of this at a time, then you might want to distract yourself somehow. But you will get absolutely nowhere if you try to deny reality, I think.

Blessings and good luck to you. Be well.
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