Things changing around me 😢

Hello all,
This is the first time I've ever joined a forum and decided to seek help from others online. But I feel so overwhelmed and I don't understand myself. I'm in this ridiculous situation and it makes no sense that I'm even anxious at all but I've been crying nonstop lately and I just want to get back to normal, and I'm hoping that someone can make sense of it all. So here it goes...

My mom who is in her mid 50s has decided to change jobs. She's a school teacher and has been teaching in the same school since I was a baby. I graduated from the same school as well. A decade ago. So on Monday my mom told me she got a random offer to start teaching in a different local school that might offer her some better conditions. Tuesday she went for an interview and on Wednesday she accepted the offer. It's all so fast...

I congratulated her and calmed her down because she was so nervous. She expressed how sad she is to leave her old school because of all the memories she has and she said she knows how tough it's going to be for her.

I legitimately feel crushed. I don't want my mom to feel stressed or anxious. I want her to be happy and content, and maybe she will get all of that by making the change, who knows...
But... I'm also thinking what if she made the wrong decision? What if she will come to regret it? What if she will feel incredible pressure and stress? What if shell be miserable? What if I should have asked her tough questions before she made the decision????

I hate change. I'm terrible with it, and I'm sure I'm projecting a lot. I'd have all of these fears, and maybe my mom doesn't have them... She is much stronger than me. And I can't express these feelings to her because I don't want her to question the decision that has already been made. I don't want to put any stress on her. I don't want to make her sad...

Change is normal, I get it, but why am I crying nonstop about this?! THIS does NOT make sense. It's not my life that's changing, then why does it feel like it is? I offered my mom to help her move stuff from one school to the next, but I feel like I'll break down at some point. What is wrong with me??? How can I get it together and support my mom along the way? How can I make this better for her? How can I resolve the anxiety within myself? Why do I fee! This anxiety in the first place???

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading this novel....

Hello anxiousij: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central. The anxiety forum, here on PC, may be another one you'll be interested in. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/anxie...c-and-phobias/

It seems to me there may be a couple of possibilities with regard to the concern you are having for your mother. One is simply that you love her & you're concerned for her welfare. The other is that you're an anxious person to begin with & your mother's situation is just something that has stoked your already high levels of anxiety. If your situation is the former then, from my perspective at least, it's simply a matter of understanding how you're feeling, coping with it mindfully & being supportive of your mother. If, on the other hand, it's the latter, perhaps what you're experiencing is a sign that anxiety is something you need to address in your life in general so that it does not continue to plague you in years to come.

Here are links to a selection of 10 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:

6 Ways to Stop Absorbing Other People's Emotions

How to Sit with Painful Emotions

Use This DBT Skill to Manage Your Emotions and Enhance Your Life

How to Manage Emotions More Effectively

https://psychcentral.com/blog/13-hea...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/emoti...sitive-person/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-...ere-right-now/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-smal...iety-symptoms/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/top-10-...s-for-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-ways...-your-worries/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

P.S. You didn't mention your age. But just on the off chance you're a teen, here's a link to an article on handling emotions as a teen:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/techni...your-emotions/

It's normal to feel a little worried and saddened when you make a major life change like the one your mom is making. However, she still felt the desire to make that change, even if there were risks involved. I think you're right that you're projecting your own hatred of change onto her. She was ready to do something new, and perhaps she was feeling pent up from staying in her old position for too long. Maybe she would've regretted not having tried.

I think you need to trust your mom. She knows what she wants. And if things don't work out, then know that you'll be there to help her if she needs help.