Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
NeedHelp104
Member
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 98
6
11 hugs
given
Default Aug 04, 2019 at 11:50 AM
  #1
I recently had an incident when a group of people were outside, stalking my house and my property. I told a group of five people (we are in a group chat) about what happened, and none of them were interested in my story nor did they ask if it was ok. Meanwhile (about a 4 hours before I posted about this story in the group chat) a girl in our chat was describing an event she was concerned with, and everyone in the group responded within minutes asking if she was OK. Mine? No one did, and it shows if everyone read the message. I won't go into detail, but my event almost caused me to get in a physical violence while her event was less serious (it was personal stuff). I saw them this past week, and no one still talked to me about it. I was upset, because I felt like it was a slap in the face. Any thoughts? I feel like they don't respect me.
NeedHelp104 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous40099, Buffy01, MickeyCheeky, unaluna
 
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, Skeezyks

advertisement
MickeyCheeky
Legendary
 
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817 (SuperPoster!)
7
38.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 04, 2019 at 02:34 PM
  #2
It's hard to tell without further details, @NeedHelp104, but I am SO SORRY that you're feeling SO HURT! How do these people behave usually? Are they friendly towards you? Was this a rare instance where they seemed to ignore you? Definitely stuff to think about. I'm not sure if you've done this already but perhaps it would be a good idea to ask why didn't they reply to you if that bothers you so much. You can ask politely but firmly and hopefully they'll reply. Perhaps it also depends on how you worded it? Perhaps they didn't think it was anything too serious? I'm not sure. Just try to ask them if you can and hopefully that will clear things up. Keep us updated if you want to! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, NeedHelp104, and to ALL of your Dear And Kind Loved Ones! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING!
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Buffy01, Skeezyks
 
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, unaluna
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!)
8
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Aug 05, 2019 at 02:41 PM
  #3
Well... I really don't know the answer to this. Perhaps it was just the way your post was worded? Or, realistically, it could be a "popularity contest" sort of thing; & what this experience is telling you is simply you're not as important to the group as the girl who posted earlier. That would be unfortunate. But it is the way groups of people can be.

I don't know if you're male or female. If you're male, this could be a gender-related experience. Guys are simply perceived to be able to handle their own stuff where girls tend to be viewed as being more potentially vulnerable. (One can argue whether or not that's appropriate. But I do believe it is the case.)

Beyond that, I suppose the difference in the group's responses could be due to the time difference. The girl's post was 4 hours before yours. Maybe the "mindsets" of the individual group members were just different by the time you posted your message. I know when I've been here on PC for a long stretch I'm probably less enthusiastic than I would be had I just come on recently. And likewise, I'm more likely to simply let something go just because I'm tired.

__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky, unaluna
Anonymous40099
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Aug 06, 2019 at 06:40 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by NeedHelp104 View Post
I recently had an incident when a group of people were outside, stalking my house and my property. I told a group of five people (we are in a group chat) about what happened, and none of them were interested in my story nor did they ask if it was ok. Meanwhile (about a 4 hours before I posted about this story in the group chat) a girl in our chat was describing an event she was concerned with, and everyone in the group responded within minutes asking if she was OK. Mine? No one did, and it shows if everyone read the message. I won't go into detail, but my event almost caused me to get in a physical violence while her event was less serious (it was personal stuff). I saw them this past week, and no one still talked to me about it. I was upset, because I felt like it was a slap in the face. Any thoughts? I feel like they don't respect me.
Skeezyks has given a good answer. Even here, which is supposed to be a supporting community, different people receive different levels of sympathies and interactions. People make assumptions and judgments all the time.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky, unaluna
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,367 (SuperPoster!)
9
1,277 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 08, 2019 at 12:11 AM
  #5
That’s scary! Maybe your friends didn’t grasp severity of your situation? I am glad you are ok!
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, unaluna
Buffy01
Wise Elder
 
Buffy01's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,514 (SuperPoster!)
6
9,697 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 16, 2019 at 05:02 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by NeedHelp104 View Post
I recently had an incident when a group of people were outside, stalking my house and my property. I told a group of five people (we are in a group chat) about what happened, and none of them were interested in my story nor did they ask if it was ok. Meanwhile (about a 4 hours before I posted about this story in the group chat) a girl in our chat was describing an event she was concerned with, and everyone in the group responded within minutes asking if she was OK. Mine? No one did, and it shows if everyone read the message. I won't go into detail, but my event almost caused me to get in a physical violence while her event was less serious (it was personal stuff). I saw them this past week, and no one still talked to me about it. I was upset, because I felt like it was a slap in the face. Any thoughts? I feel like they don't respect me.
I completely understand how you feel! That what happen to me on Kati Morton website in her chat before I was banned and all I did was ask a question and gave advice to someone who ask for my help. I'm sorry that this has happened to you. You didn't deserve this to happen.
Buffy01 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
Buffy01
Wise Elder
 
Buffy01's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,514 (SuperPoster!)
6
9,697 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 16, 2019 at 05:04 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
It's hard to tell without further details, @NeedHelp104, but I am SO SORRY that you're feeling SO HURT! How do these people behave usually? Are they friendly towards you? Was this a rare instance where they seemed to ignore you? Definitely stuff to think about. I'm not sure if you've done this already but perhaps it would be a good idea to ask why didn't they reply to you if that bothers you so much. You can ask politely but firmly and hopefully they'll reply. Perhaps it also depends on how you worded it? Perhaps they didn't think it was anything too serious? I'm not sure. Just try to ask them if you can and hopefully that will clear things up. Keep us updated if you want to! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, NeedHelp104, and to ALL of your Dear And Kind Loved Ones! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING!
That is really great advice! I wish that I had thought about that myself!
Buffy01 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
Buffy01
Wise Elder
 
Buffy01's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,514 (SuperPoster!)
6
9,697 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 16, 2019 at 05:06 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Well... I really don't know the answer to this. Perhaps it was just the way your post was worded? Or, realistically, it could be a "popularity contest" sort of thing; & what this experience is telling you is simply you're not as important to the group as the girl who posted earlier. That would be unfortunate. But it is the way groups of people can be.

I don't know if you're male or female. If you're male, this could be a gender-related experience. Guys are simply perceived to be able to handle their own stuff where girls tend to be viewed as being more potentially vulnerable. (One can argue whether or not that's appropriate. But I do believe it is the case.)

Beyond that, I suppose the difference in the group's responses could be due to the time difference. The girl's post was 4 hours before yours. Maybe the "mindsets" of the individual group members were just different by the time you posted your message. I know when I've been here on PC for a long stretch I'm probably less enthusiastic than I would be had I just come on recently. And likewise, I'm more likely to simply let something go just because I'm tired.
That is really great advice! I wish that I had thought about that myself!
Buffy01 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
Buffy01
Wise Elder
 
Buffy01's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,514 (SuperPoster!)
6
9,697 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 16, 2019 at 05:08 AM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nxious View Post
Skeezyks has given a good answer. Even here, which is supposed to be a supporting community, different people receive different levels of sympathies and interactions. People make assumptions and judgments all the time.
That true! I guess that I never really thought about that myself! I wish that I did!
Buffy01 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
dontfollow
Junior Member
 
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: Hartford, Connecticut
Posts: 13
4
Default Aug 18, 2019 at 02:52 AM
  #10
They are most likely preoccupied with their own problems, and it's nothing personal against you or something that should cause hard feelings. We're all in our own little worlds, for better or for worse. That is the society we were brought up in. I'm sure they'd empathise much more if you reminded them again.
dontfollow is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply
attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:57 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.