Coping with Being Used and Gaslighting

When I have told somebody they were gaslighting me they said they didn’t know what that meant. Then they went and looked it up. Then they said it was ME doing the gaslighting and not them.

Ug. Yeah, again, I don't like to label anyone a narcissist or NPD, but the articles often say that abusers will claim they are the victim or that you're the one rewriting history. Studies have shown that most people re-tell history in a way that puts them in a better light. So that's fairly normal. The question is does their version of reality differ significantly or completely from what you know happened and also, can you prove it at all? I don't claim many people in the world have gaslit me. That's mostly reserved for my completely disordered family of origin (and specifically my father and my 1 brother who takes after him).

I'm trying to think to whom else I've ever claimed was gaslighting me, and while I've had bad bosses and friends who I parted ways with, this person, who was little more than an acquaintance, is the only person I can think of who has actually attempted to gaslight in such an outright way. I'm not sure if it's intentional or inherently learned as a coping mechanism. But it's easily provable that what they claimed was a lie.

Wait, I take that back, I can think of one other person who was clearly gaslighting me, and I walked away from that REALLY fast. Okay, so in 39 years, 4 people. Out of all my relationships. I always wonder about people who claim every person they know is or has been gaslighting them. I don't want to invalidate anyone, but it seems like if every person in your life or who was in your life has been lying to you then there are other things to address there besides what they are doing. But I digress.

@Sisabel, it's pretty pointless to try and argue or point out to a person who is gaslighting that they are. Their feelings are facts. And every time their feelings change, the facts will change. It's very disordered thinking and you can't argue with it.