Rage Day

Sep 04, 2019 at 06:37 PM

Ugh... yesterday I tried living by the law of attraction. I got up in the morning and told myself it was going to be a great day, I saw where I was as a nice place... I had a good solid day and people even remarked on how happy I was.

I went to bed thinking, "hey maybe I can do this?"

Um, I guess not. I work up today in a complete rage spiral. It all started when I opened to a new social group and saw someone respond to me in such a childish and stupid way... I literally spewed out a scathing response and left.

Feeling icky about that I went about my morning but left and forgot to bring something I wanted to for work.

The commute was a nightmare I almost got into an accident and they detoured my back routes -- who does that on September 4th? The traffic jams were brutal.

When I got on the train it was a severely short train set -- again, who does that on September 4th? I hardly got a seat.

Everything, EVERYTHING, had me wanting (or in some cases this close) to spewing the nasty at everyone. I suppose I can describe it as like in "Kill Bill" rage.

I could not get my positive attitude back and now I am wondering if I am too happy on one day does my equilibrium need a negative day? I seethe today with anger..

unaluna · Sep 04, 2019 at 06:59 PM

Oh

i was gonna ask you how the new life was going. Im in kinda the same boat. Seems like i wake up one day, and im like, wasnt i supposed to be doing stomach crunches every day? What happened to that resolution? But making a list of all the things i want - NEED - to change is just too depressing. There is not a sheet of laminate big enough.

Skeezyks · Sep 04, 2019 at 07:06 PM

You know... this is interesting. (I'm sorry it happened to you. But it is interesting.) Up until fairly recently I used to get the idea, from time-to-time, that I was going to really knuckle down & be mindful... focused on the present moment... no extraneous thoughts allowed!

I so I would do it... or at least give it my best effort.

And it seemed like, the next day, I would invariably end up being a seething cauldron of anger. Everything would just piss me off!

So after a number of episodes like that, I finally decided that "forced mindfulness", so to speak, was just not a great idea... at least not for me.

Perhaps there are just things that have to evolve over time.

Sep 04, 2019 at 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Everything would just piss me off!

So after a number of episodes like that, I finally decided that "forced mindfulness", so to speak, was just not a great idea... at least not for me.

Perhaps there are just things that have to evolve over time.

Of course I could just be hormonal (as another post I posted over the weekend talked about how I was feeling some symptoms). At the moment I am leaning toward the forced positivity. I will have to slow that down a bit and not try too hard. I would continue posting but I am just getting pissed off.

WastingAsparagus · Sep 05, 2019 at 11:19 AM

You're not alone in getting into a rage state recently. Yesterday the card reader at the pharmacy didn't work for me and I got pissed off and yelled in front of the whole store. I'm lucky I didn't do anything else.

I was furious.

Anyway. It was bad.

Someone who I trust a lot told me that rage escapes us when we've been repressing things for a long time. In my scenario, that's what I think it was.

MickeyCheeky · Sep 05, 2019 at 12:29 PM

Keeping a positive attitue is good but it's ok when we're angry sometimes. We don't have to supress our anger. That's not healthy in my opinion. I COMPLETELY agree with what ALL the other WISE and WONDERFUL posters have already WISELY and WONDERFULLY said BETTER THAN I EVER COULD! Try to keep a positive attitude, but if you feel angry, embrace it and accept it just like it is. Your feelings are ALWAYS valid! Keep remembering that because IT IS TRUE!

Keep posting if it helps you. Feel free to PM me ANYTIME as always if you need advice and support or even simply someone to talk to. I'LL ALWAYS BE AVAILABLE! THAT'S A PROMISE! I am SURE plenty of others will also GLADLY and WONDERFULLY help you out as well! I AM SURE OF THAT! THAT'S A PROMISE! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Emily Fox Seaton, your family, your friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking as much as you possibly can like you're already WONDERFULLY DOING ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN!

Mopey · Sep 05, 2019 at 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Oh

i was gonna ask you how the new life was going. Im in kinda the same boat. Seems like i wake up one day, and im like, wasnt i supposed to be doing stomach crunches every day? What happened to that resolution? But making a list of all the things i want - NEED - to change is just too depressing. There is not a sheet of laminate big enough.

Isn't that the truth??? Now and again I can accomplish something, but the list of things I haven't and won't accomplish is so astronomical that the tiny thing I did just doesn't seem to matter at all.....

Sep 05, 2019 at 06:55 PM

Ok rage day is over. Thank you all.

I tried to remain positive only when I felt like it today and not push it and had some pretty good results. I have been trying as part of being grateful and kind to offer more kindness to others and part of that is looking them in the eye. I definitely got out of the habit of doing that when I was shielding myself from people. And it is entirely possible I will have to retreat from doing this. But I was getting coffee and there was this handsome (and young) coast guard guy in front of me (the coast guard facility is right next to our place and they use our cafeteria) and he said sorry for holding me up and I gave him a big smile and said no problem. I was not flirting but he definitely looked my way several other times after that and for the first time in a long time I didn't feel guilty or bad or like there must be mustard on my face. I no matter what he was thinking I just wanted to offer kindness to him. Though in the back of my head I do wonder if I will have to be careful.

I find that when I am looking at the world as offering kindness to others and not feeling guilt and worry about what they will think, I tend to talk better, have funnier jokes and even better timing.

Later in the day I sort of unloaded on my boss about the hassle to get someone to cover (my intent was frustration with my coworkers not covering for me when I cover for them) and he offered to have other co workers in a different department cover for me and I could train them tomorrow. At first I felt weird about it and frustrated but I said... no, this is my reward for being kind all day. My boss wouldn't have offered unless it was what he wanted and I should take it and be grateful. And that is exactly what I am going to do.

TunedOut · Sep 06, 2019 at 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

this is my reward for being kind all day. My boss wouldn't have offered unless it was what he wanted and I should take it and be grateful. And that is exactly what I am going to do.

I think we get back the same vibes that we give out. If they are negative vibes then some people wisely avoid us.

Others react negatively right back! (and they aren't doing themselves any favors when they do it.) Sometimes I need my medications to stay positive and less obssessive.

Whatever I have to do to be more of positive force (I certainly had trouble getting out of a bad funk for a while). Or if I can't being positive then trying to know when I just need to stay away from everyone. It can be hard when you are in low spirits and have to work at a job where you are interacting with people all of the time. I am glad you had a good day and hope you have more good days then bad in the future.

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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,829 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.3k hugs given	Sep 04, 2019 at 06:59 PM #2 Oh i was gonna ask you how the new life was going. Im in kinda the same boat. Seems like i wake up one day, and im like, wasnt i supposed to be doing stomach crunches every day? What happened to that resolution? But making a list of all the things i want - NEED - to change is just too depressing. There is not a sheet of laminate big enough.
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