[Cardooney]

I feel conflicted because I am grateful for what I have, but I am insecure, and feel like I come up short and am not living up to my potential.

My peers have more professional success and earn a great deal more money than I do, and I will most likely never catch up. They are more involved and extroverted. They travel and have experiences that I can’t even imagine.

I am introverted...I am not materialistic or too competitive. Still, it bothers me that I am poor compared to my “friends.” We’re friends in spirit, but hardly speak or see each other. I’ve slipped out of circulation because I’ve been fighting for basic life/death, and safety. I don’t even fit in with them, and I never really have. Our hearts care for each other, but I can’t run in their world. I am so different in ways.

Even though I’m doing well for my standards, I realize my standards are so much lower than their standards.

I don’t mean to compare lives, and I’m sure I have some good qualities, but I’m starting to wonder why I’m so...I don’t know the word I’m looking for.

I am mad that I was not encouraged to be “more.” I was encouraged to be obedient and grateful, and it’s backfired for my self esteem right now.

I hate to say this, but I am feeling worthless. I want to be a positive force in a harmonious atmosphere, but I’m off balanced or maybe others are, or both.

I lack experience and expression, and I want to feel more powerful.

I have a deep river of tears to cry about this, but it seems so superficial (and ungrateful or judgmental) that I don’t express it at all (except here).

I need to feel “successful”

It’s emotional and stems from something. Honestly I’ve been mistreated and abandoned and used—maybe everyone has—and I guess it’s affected my self esteem.

Thanks for reading and hugs to you.

[LilyMop]

Well I can honestly say that given the choice to be friends with a thoughtful introvert like you sounds much better to me than the competitive extroverts. There’s nothing wrong at all with being a competitive extrovert but that’s not my thing and it sounds like it’s not yours either.

I understand how you feel though. It’s easy to compare and feel inadequate.

Does your friends lifestyle honestly seem appealing to you or is it that you think it should be appealing to you? I believe there is a great deal of peace and wisdom in being content with our own lives and what we have. It’s hard to do that when we are constantly bombarded with images in social media of the best way to live life. I think it’s worth working on though.

[MickeyCheeky]

It seems like you're struggling because you're mostly comparing Yourself to others, @Cardooney. I COMPLETELY agree with what the wise and wonderful @LilyMop has already wisely and wonderfully said better than I possibly ever could in my whole and entire Life wholefully and entirely in my Life! You do have to ask Yourself if your Life is good for YOURSELF and not for other people. Please do listen to what @LilyMop is saying! From what you wrote it does seem like it stems mainly from some underlying Struggles that you may have suffered from in your Past, perhaps your Childhood. Are you seeing a Therapist? I feel like that may REALLY help you! You can try to discover what these causes are, if there are any and if they are causing this, also if they are bothering you at the moment. Please do take WONDERFUL care of yourself and try to be kinder to yourself, OK?! WE ALL LOVE YOU HERE! We ALL do care about You. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Cardooney, ALL of your Family, ALL of your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK, MY DEAR, SWEET, KIND, AWESOME AND WONDERFUL FRIEND?!

[Thunder Bow]

Don't compare yourself to others. That is a direct path to feeling bad about yourself.

[Cardooney]

Thank u all for the wise, kind, and encouraging words.

I took an ego hit, which brought out more insecurities, and my emotions started showing.

Emotions are good.

Feeling worthless is a warning sign that I need to exercise more strength and courage, maybe.