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Oct 20, 2019 at 09:54 PM
#1
Here's an exercise that we can do together. I'm not sure how to start it or anything, but I am hoping that we can focus on problem-solving coping (as opposed to reactive/emotional coping). If you have better suggestions, we can always change it up, or a new thread could be created.
 This is an exercise that works like one of the threads in the "game" or "coffeehouse" forums, but instead of short answers followed by questions, we're elaborating on our strengths to use the skills we've learned from socializing, upbringings, and/or therapy. Instructions: We each present a pretend (not real) problem and share the emotions connected with that problem, then the next person uses their problem-solving skills to cope with that problem more effectively, while also presenting another problem/emotions for the next person to problem-solve. Also, rules of PC apply, so if it is triggering, you can present it with the use of the trigger symbol coupled with the BB code for the trigger. If a person is up for the challenge of problem-solving a triggering pretend problem, they can hit the "show" button to reveal the problem and emotions with that problem and then answer it. (Hopefully that makes sense. Someone jump in if they can rephrase it better.) Hopefully, we will be able to offer help to others who are actually having some of these pretend problems that we've created by offering potential problem-solving skills. You can use any *healthy* skills you've learned in life or in treatment. Example: Person 1: Problem: Broke up with an abusive significant other. Emotions: Sad, depressed, lonely. Person 2: Problem-solving the breakup: 1. Affirmations: I made the right choice to break up with my ex because I deserve safety. 2. Affirmations: I have a right to my feelings, and I can feel the feelings for as long as I need to grieve the relationship. 3. Seeking support: I can seek support while I'm grieving, and I can avoid returning to the abusive ex by finding healthier people to hang out with. Meanwhile, I can see if therapy can help me grieve and process the traumas I had encountered recently. 4. Affirmation: Once I'm feeling enough distance between this breakup, I can search for another, more healthier significant other. 5. Self-care: I can accept my emotions and take care of them by self-soothing, such as eating a nutritious diet, giving myself a "spa day," stating daily affirmations, going for a walk, relaxing and taking mini-vacations (or staycations), and doing something I enjoy every day. Next problem/emotion: (create a new problem here along with emotions). ***END OF EXAMPLE*** Let us begin. Here's the first problem/emotions: PROBLEM: Got fired from work. EMOTIONS: Sad, angry, bored, afraid |
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 Anonymous42019, Blknblu
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Oct 20, 2019 at 11:55 PM
#2
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Problem-solving: Contact my former employer to discuss what led to my firing. If the firing was due to my behavior or poor performance, take steps to address that behavior for future career endeavors. Probably forget about it, but at least I tried. Use the opportunity to find a more fulfilling career, or at least a more entertaining career. Reach out to friends for recommendations and/or learn a new skill if need be. In the meantime, find support with friends, make new friends, hustle for money and start selling stuff on craigslist or ebay. Take the time to purge my life of **** I don't need. PROBLEM: Getting married soon to a wonderful person who I love dearly. Having doubts for no logical or articulable reason. EMOTIONS: Anxiety, self-loathing, confusion. |
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 Anonymous42019, Anonymous42119, bpcyclist
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Anonymous42019, Blknblu, bpcyclist
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Oct 21, 2019 at 07:50 PM
#3
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Maybe find a personal therapist, too. Write in a journal to see if you can figure out where the anxiety and confusion are coming from. Depending on trust issues concerning finances or disillusionment, maybe a prenup might be a solution. Speaking frankly and honestly with your fiance is also an option. PROBLEM: My neighbor keeps yelling at his wife and kids in the middle of the night. I also hear things slamming and breaking. EMOTIONS: Fear, anger, irritability |
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