In what ways do you think your emotions hold you back from achieving your goals?

My biggest holdback is fear,fear of success and fear of failure when it comes to expressing my creativity.

Fear of risk when it comes to loving someone new and letting them into my life.Fear of loss that someone will use me then demand 50% of what I own for themselves.

Fear of dying when it comes to my health.

Fear of getting used and taken advantage of when it comes to making new friends

Also chewing me up is being bullied which at first involves fear, then anger. Anger consumes me and attacks everyone else, it is like a fire fueling it is my hatred of the bullies and the injustice of the way they treat me..

Which emotions cause you the most bother in your life?

Fear - most definitely.

I fear being taken advantage of, being physically harmed, being sexually harassed, being stalked, being wrongly accused for someone else's acts, being publicly humiliated, etc.

I don't fear success, as I've been successful; I fear the vulnerability of exiting one SES stage into another because of jealous others who would rather see me fall than rise. I fear those who could harm me, period.

It's the fear that keeps me held back, among other things that are not emotional in nature.

I hear you both. You've brought up valid points. And I can relate to the fears both of you have brought up.

I have worked hard to get through my fears and have made decent progress, I think. Fear bothers me less than it used to, but it is still there at times. So, I keep working on it to get stronger and better.

I want to be fearless, but I'm too afraid to. LOL, but seriously. I do wish I were more brave and courageous. Bravery and courage do not mean the absence of fear; rather, those words mean that you do something despite your fears.

Quote by Nelson Mandela: “I learned that courage was not the absence of f...”

Quote:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ― Nelson Mandela

@Lilly2

I am a people pleaser.The extreme abuse I suffered by my primary care taker and the other pretended as if everything was normal.I became a pathological people pleaser and survived.I have to help somebody or I feel worthless.A lot of people, specially abusers take advantage of me.I feel bad if I do not please somebody and feel bad afterwards too.If a person turns down my help l feel pathetic.

And mostly I worked towards other people's goals.I mean the manipulators.

@HappyCrafter

Giddyup! Yee-haw!

Yass! Thank you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyCrafter @Lilly2

@Mendingmysoul

Bless your heart, I am sorry to hear this.

Thank you for this terrific thread, @marilyn, and thank you to everyone who has contributed to it.

It's so weird. In my work life, my emotions could not enter into the situation, ever. Lives were at stake. If I freaked out in the middle of trying to find the source of bleeding in someone's abdomen after being shot at 3 in the morning, I could not be of any use to the patient. Have I been scared before in the operating room? Damn right I have. But I couldn't let it interfere with whatever tasks were at hand. As I used to tell younger residents and fellows, there will always be time to freak out later. But right now, do your damn job.

At the moment, I have fear interfering in some life goals. I have written 2 very different books, one a novel (a thriller), the other an accounting of a very long psych hospitalization in a notorious hospital. I really feel like both are publishable. I have published other books before, but nothing like these. The process in the States for getting published is that you have to get an agent first, and then the agent shops your work to the publishers. Agents get zillions of requests for representation and it is super hard to retain one, even if you are a rock star. J.K. Rowling famously was turned down by more than thirty agents. They thought she sucked. Michael Crichton of Jurassic Park fame, was also rejected millions of times before finally landing an agent. Later, after he became famous, he used to carry a copy of one of his rejection letters with him when he would attend book fairs for signings and lectures and stuff. He would reportedly try to to
locate whomever had written the letter he had with him and always made a point to say 'Hi,' just to remind them what they had turned down. He was obviously still kind of hurt, even after becoming a colossal success and zillionaire.

The books are good, I believe. I do. But my fear is, in a system that told Crichton and Rowling and many more that they were no good, just how many rejection letters am I going to go through before someone finally wants me? It's sort of like asking 60 different women out on a date at once. You are just setting yourself up for failure.

Anyway, I had the novel edited professionally and she though it was pretty solid,, which was great. But I remain paralyzed. Haven't sent a single packet out to a single agent yet. The depression part of me with its hopelessness piece has sort of hijacked me. It keeps telling me I will never get an agent. So I do nothing. I have this really pretty decent novel and I do nothing.

I need to turn over a new leaf. I need to get those packets out. I need to remember that they thought Michael Crichton was a no-talent joke and that J.K. Rowling would never amount to anything. I need to do all those things. I need to get those packets out. But I am afraid.

Rooting for you bpcyclist.I have written a couple of them on really sensitive topics,just raw scripts scribbled on .Never had courage to edit or get edited.I am confident they will turn into good novels.But beyond that I did nothing about it.Right now I do not even remember where I tossed them.You got yours edited.Way to go.

BPcyclist, thank you for your encouragement. What I can say about your books,the hard work of writing the books is done and they are edited. I understand your fear is holding you back. You will get in the right frame of mind one day and try to have an agent sell them for you. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
They are ready for when you are, don't despair you will get there. I hope your books are a massive success when you do decide .I understand you holding your breath in panic anticipating failure but you don't know for definite and even the person who edited the book thought it was a good one.

With me I am frightened to write the books cos part of me is certain they won't measure up. I find it difficult to get my ideas in order and express my ideas on paper and get them to make sense but I am going to try write a book on mental health next year.

I think exploring your fears could help. I admire you for the work you do saving people's lives in accident and emergency. I don't have much time for doctors or medical staff usually but accident and emergency staff I have nothing but praise for. I often wonder if these staff feel fear and you have explained toy do,to feel fear and do it anyway is marvelous, that is what courage is. Maybe you can do this with your books?

I think fear is probably the main emotion that can hold is back from achieving goals. I typically don’t have much fear about anything , except when it comes to relationships. I tend to stick around too long in relationships that don’t meet my needs. I think I have a fear of being alone with a special person, a partner. Not that I am afraid I can’t take care of myself etc it’s more a fear of that empty spot next to me emotionally, like a void. I guess I fear how I will handle it, I fear my own reactions, the pain, and sadness and if I can handle it without getting more depressed then I typically am.