When outraged, people take action

The nice thing about my ruminating is that I’ve looked at it from every possible POV. . How am I wrong? How does the other person see it? How does the lamp see it? Ultimately, I do trust in myself.

Abusers will gaslight us and convince us to devalue our own good judgment. That little voice in me that tells me something is wrong and gives me a warning has never been wrong. I’ve never once been sorry for having listened to my gut. Plus, I’ve asked many other close people their thoughts on things to make sure I’m not over reacting. When they all tell me I am making perfect sense, I feel confident. But, I’ve made several choices of action that didn’t turn out with the outcome I wanted. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you’ll come out with a bad outcome. You go back and think ‘could I have done something differently to make it go better?’ And no, it wouldn’t have mattered. That’s where spirituality comes in. Maybe it’s beyond our control and we are just destined to go through some good and bad things.

Please forgive me for getting off your topic, Fuzzy.

I agree with this statement and I do believe this statement.

This is certainly true. Abusers gaslight us to try to convince us to devalue our own good judgment

I read somewhere that abusers will target truth, wisdom... and try to devalue it

I also ruminate and the good thing about it is that I examine things from every possible POV

So much wisdom in this thread.Thank you for posting your thoughts.Yes abusers devalue what should be valued.Abusers have twisted brains.

YouTube

Carole King song. One of my favorites. This recently helped get me through the grief of a huge loss which was orchestrated on us by someone who chose to be an adversary.

If an abuser can get you to doubt yourself it’s easier for them to get their way. Some really skilled manipulators even convince you doing the hurtful thing was your idea! I had to cope with this.

I think your instincts and judgement are great and you are always kind. There are people in this world who take advantage of people who are kind for their own gain. Those of us who have been taken advantage of can learn from it and become stronger. We just have to have faith and support each other. Thank you for always, always supporting me Fuzzy!

Thanks so much TunedOut. Thank you for always supporting me. I’m sending love and hugs

“attempting to reconcile what others said to how I felt”

I completely relate to this. it is a mismatch, and confusing

I agree. Abusers devalue what is beautiful. They have twisted brains

Every situation is different but in my case there was or is problems with miscommunication, differing needs, personalities, hard times like unemployment, isolation, mental health issues etc. No one is perfect and we are still sorting a lot out. Yes, there are abusers out there, I do understand that but I was in a situation that just became to much. I still cannot handle it. We can only do so much for others when, for whatever reason, they won't budge or see you as an enemy. I still would gladly give my life if I thought that would help. I am still trying to help but stopped doing the same care taking because sometimes not letting someone fail makes them think everything is OK when it is so so not. I pray all the time about it. I trust thank God and the angels will help the person see. They are suffering but could do so much better if they would realize they needed help. Despite our love for this person, we hurt them too. Things just unravel sometimes because we thought we knew best plus something is really wrong. Perhaps we just don't know everything as well. It is important not to assume too much. Don't mess with the universe, the karma is more than you could ever imagine. People who are abusive and evil will eventually pay the piper. I am sure of it. Life is SO SO hard on some people but sometimes what is the hardest is what we do to ourselves. I pray it will get better.

If others won't budge or see us as an enemy …

I've had experiences with people irl who are completely unbending and also not at all insightful into themselves

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr