advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-07-2019, 03:06 PM   #1
trackTrax
New Member
trackTrax has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 7
Exclamation Dealing with rejection

Hey..

I am venting...
I have no absolute reason for my ****** behavior...

I feel really ****** at the smallest rejection even if it comes from people I dont like?
Why the **** do I feel like such an entitled prick?

A girl who used to like me at work which I did not like got a boyfriend ..suddenly I feel like **** and annoyed ..

If I text a girl or even a friend (But it feels a lot more awful when its a girl, I dont text often so its not like I am being needy) and she does not reply in 5 minutes, I usually go to her facebook to check if she is online, and if she is, it means that she is not paying attention to me (and in my mind she talks with some other dude).. it makes me feel awful and annoyed.

This is borderline obsessive I think, and I should not have this feelings this is not normal.
At times I text to see if she just replies.. which I know its wrong like its a looser like behavior .

Cant figure out what is wrong with me and how to fix it.. Ideas?
trackTrax is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 11-07-2019, 09:17 PM   #2
loner67
New Member
loner67 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: Morriston, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 7
Default Re: Dealing with rejection

I've had problems with fb and not getting g responses nor replies. Even if I text a friend on my cell I may not hear from them back soon and often I have to initiate any conversation with them. It doesnt seem righy but thats the way it is...
loner67 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-08-2019, 11:28 AM   #3
bpcyclist
Magnate
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 2,829 (SuperPoster!)
7,268 hugs
given
Default Re: Dealing with rejection

Is this mostly about one girl, or everyone?

Maybe try not to spend time keeping tabs on others' online status. I don't think it is helping you.

Are you lonely? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you want one?
__________________
bipolar 1

provigil, lithium er, wellbutrin er, seroquel, zyprexa prn for emergencies
bpcyclist is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-08-2019, 12:17 PM   #4
trackTrax
New Member
trackTrax has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 7
Default Re: Dealing with rejection

Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
Is this mostly about one girl, or everyone?

Maybe try not to spend time keeping tabs on others' online status. I don't think it is helping you.

Are you lonely? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you want one?
Hey,
I think I am lonely.
No I dont have a girlfriend.
I would like one, but not anyone, someone cute and interesting

Maybe try not to spend time keeping tabs on others' online status. I don't think it is helping you.
^ This is the problem, I keep tabs when I have the feeling that people might ignore me for no reason.. cause I dont think I am needy or text them a lot .. It happens for friends or for people I feel I have a connection with, not everyone.. but if I like a girl I do obsess more about it.

If a girl from tinder starts ignore me after 2-3 days of chat I am fine about it.
"Eh it did not work" state of mind.

But if a girl I like or a friend starts doing it it bothers me so much ..

I think this might be OCD related not sure..
trackTrax is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-10-2019, 08:44 PM   #5
WovenGalaxy
Member
WovenGalaxy has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 148
276 hugs
given
Default Re: Dealing with rejection

I'm sorry you're dealing with insecurity and what you call obsessiveness. I can relate, actually. My ideas: 1.) Be kinder to yourself. This behavior and thought pattern had to have come from somewhere and it was probably a painful place. Beating yourself up over feeling pain probably isn't the most helpful thing. 2.) Maybe find a hobby. Do something you really enjoy and are interested in. Maybe then you will be busy with that instead of checking up on people on facebook, etc. 3.) Consider therapy.

You'll get through this. It may not feel like it now. But personal growth takes time, and sometimes life really hurts. Go easy on yourself.

Edit: I just read your follow up post. I have a 4th idea for you too. Are you social? Or more isolated? What about connecting more with people and engaging more in your community? That is, if you don't already.

What happens when you try not to check on them? What if you just "sat" with those feelings of worry.
WovenGalaxy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-11-2019, 02:00 PM   #6
trackTrax
New Member
trackTrax has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 7
Default Re: Dealing with rejection

I am pretty social, I have a lot of friends, the people at work like me..
The problem is when these feelings kick in..

And when it comes to a girl I like, or I am interested in, I have HUGE HUGE trust issues... if I have the feeling she is doing something shady (even if she is not) just my insecurity .. I wont even trust her when she is telling me what she had for breakfast ..

Not sure what I should do..
trackTrax is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 11-12-2019, 07:40 AM   #7
Bill3
Wise Elder
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 9,130 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
18.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dealing with rejection

How were you treated when you were growing up?
Bill3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 11-12-2019, 11:18 AM   #8
trackTrax
New Member
trackTrax has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 7
Default Re: Dealing with rejection

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
How were you treated when you were growing up?
I would say okayish ... my parents fought a lot because of money, saw my mother cry a few times.. which might be the reason why I would be afraid that I am not worthy enough when it comes to relationships.. and maybe like a chain effect this is causing me to have a ton of insecurities
trackTrax is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-12-2019, 01:18 PM   #9
Blueskyx
Junior Member
 
Blueskyx's Avatar
Blueskyx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: Europe
Posts: 22
Default Re: Dealing with rejection

Have you maybe dealt with behavior where a person acted as if this person had the final say when it comes to what's right or not? So maybe like you thought something and then this person agreed or disagreed as a way of letting you know what you thought was right or not instead of letting you have your own thoughts regardless of what other people think about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trackTrax View Post
I wont even trust her when she is telling me what she had for breakfast ..
I'd say this is likely a result of dealing with a lot manipulative behavior, that you also question things you normally wouldn't question because of a lot of inauthentic communication.

Last edited by Blueskyx; 11-12-2019 at 01:39 PM..
Blueskyx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-12-2019, 01:52 PM   #10
trackTrax
New Member
trackTrax has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 7
Default Re: Dealing with rejection

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueskyx View Post
Have you maybe dealt with behavior where a person acted as if this person had the final say when it comes to what's right or not? So maybe like you thought something and then this person agreed or disagreed as a way of letting you know what you thought was right or not instead of letting you have your own thoughts regardless of what other people think about it.

I'd say this is likely a result of dealing with a lot manipulative behavior, that you also question things you normally wouldn't question because of a lot of inauthentic communication.
Not sure what to reply to your first question.
There were cases in which I had the last word and I was right and cases in which I was wrong
And there were cases in which the other person had the last word even though the person was right or wrong..

Regarding the manipulative behavior .. you are right .. I feel like she does that a lot ..or she tries to hide dumb things .. she acts like she is doing some really mysterious, when in truth she does basic things like going to a friends birthday..
trackTrax is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:29 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.