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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 12:50 PM
  #861
Bit of a wobbly day. Stayed home all day as tired following my fall yesterday. Trying to look on positive side but not always managing to.
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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 10:50 PM
  #862
Life feels worrisome,Covid rules are stressing me out,not understanding my life's purpose,lack of finances is another source of stress.Always just surviving,existing,never enough money to really enjoy the world,to really live.I wonder if I wrote that book,would I make enough to enjoy,travel,achieve more,most likely not.Fear of failure is what stops me trying........I lack faith in my abilities.Its sad that I stopped loving and believing in myself,if I ever did that is!
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Attention Aug 14, 2020 at 03:51 AM
  #863
am surviving. day 2 done of my new steroid med pack and doing okay so far. just exhausted from everything and am in need of a sedative!

also down from missing my aunt -> it's been a full year already
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Default Aug 14, 2020 at 06:21 AM
  #864
I am struggling with tiredness today,I got up at 3.30am and dyed my hair at 5am,went back to bed,just got up again at 12.15pm and I can't open my eyes.I also had some weird
dreams about my abuser,and my family,for some reason I needed an emerson heater installed in the woods and two companies for competeing for me to pay them to instal it,then my uni was stahing a protest and my family chip shop was used for the catering and there was a big tray of chips and fish and I almost fell into the food but got myself away and was criticised for abandoning the cause,then I made my way into the woods and my abuser who I had a massive crush on was sitting wating for me and I was considered a no show and a let down for the cause.I couldn't employ the emerson installers that my friend Sue from my schooldays recomended cos I already asked the other company to do the groundwork.What a crazy dream,even though my abuser was waiting for me I wouldn't approach him cos he didn't feel safe but I was pining for him still.
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Default Aug 14, 2020 at 01:05 PM
  #865
Counting my many blessings but acknowledging some losses I have had recently. I lost both my voluntary jobs due to pandemic and my running club has been shut 5 months now - those were my go to outlets that helped keep me happy and sane. For some reason this is suddenly sinking in now
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Default Aug 14, 2020 at 01:57 PM
  #866
Feeling a bit lonely at the moment -getting my medication in a few mins going to mcdonalls tomorrow so just need to sleep it off

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Default Aug 14, 2020 at 02:12 PM
  #867
I worked all morning. That was good. It kept me distracted. Now I'm trying to relax and I'm not sure of what I want to do. Some things today were difficult and I have no one to talk to. I may just go to bed.

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Default Aug 14, 2020 at 04:53 PM
  #868
Today I am coping with deliberate thoughts, trying very hard to adhere to the principles I've been taught & believe in.
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Default Aug 14, 2020 at 05:21 PM
  #869
I’m adjusting my perception. Maybe I idealized people who I now see more clearly. I accept them as they are, and don’t feel the loss of who I thought they were.

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Default Aug 15, 2020 at 08:33 AM
  #870
I'll be honest, the cooler weather has done wonders for my pain all ready (and it's only been cooler for 1 day). I just finished reading the weather forcast (google alerts), and the storms are meant to continue in to next week (this is good for my pain and my mood!)

as for today, I am not doing much. in the morning I just caught up on my soap operas, and this afternoon posting here again (litirally nothing else to do)

I have decided that tonight I am going to have a chinese takeaway, (which is not the greatest decision after my mcdonalds yesterday), but what can I say: I need filling, and apart from snacks and junkfood, takeawyas are the only thing that seem to do it for me.
 
 
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Default Aug 15, 2020 at 09:56 AM
  #871
I'm having a difficult time this morning. I slept late. I guess that can be good. I feel behind now. But it's Saturday. I'll do my best to relax.

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Default Aug 15, 2020 at 10:27 AM
  #872
I am having a tough couple of days. I received some unexpected news at the doctor's this past week. I have to wait until Friday to find out more information and my mind is just running wild.
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Default Aug 15, 2020 at 03:01 PM
  #873
After last night, today hasn’t been terrible so far. I’ve been able to do my weekend cleaning and laundry and I watched some TV. Besides the fact that I don’t feel the greatest I at least coped ok. I think I’m going to make an actual schedule though for basic things like meds and food and sleep. I’m all over the place on all those things. I think that would help my overall quality of life immensely.

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Default Aug 15, 2020 at 09:02 PM
  #874
I'm a wreck but I can still function.
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Default Aug 16, 2020 at 02:44 AM
  #875
I guess I'm coping well. I have plans to read all day and stay in bed watching Gaia TV. My cats will be with me and I'll drink cappuccinos. I might even order breakfast from McDonald's, which is always a treat.

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Default Aug 16, 2020 at 08:41 AM
  #876
I'm coping pretty well. Not exactly 100% super duper, of course.
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Default Aug 16, 2020 at 09:54 AM
  #877
Today I am coping well. I put aside some negative thoughts and got out my sketchbook for the first time in years. It felt good to draw again.
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Default Aug 16, 2020 at 02:51 PM
  #878
I’m coping ok? It’s hard to tell today what’s physical and what’s anxiety. I had this really weird emotion this morning but I think it may just have been a really bad stomach ache. I went to lie down for a couple hours and now I’m better. And I didn’t need Xanax. So it could have been an anxiety stomach ache. I don’t usually get them like that though where just lying down takes care of it. Which makes me suspect it was physical. All in all I’m coping alright today I suppose. My family thinks I’m doing awesome. Ha little do they know.

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Default Aug 16, 2020 at 03:14 PM
  #879
I sent a text to my son, trying to make conversation. I feel like a crazy ex gf from how he has rejected me and the family. I pray he comes around and back to himself, loving, adorable D.

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Default Aug 16, 2020 at 07:41 PM
  #880
Three subjects most on my mind is the Nov,. election especially the post office sabotogue of the elections, COVID and the NBA playoffs,
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