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Buffy01
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#21
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#22
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Fuzzybear
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#23
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#24
Good thread. Thank you Buffy, this stuff helps me too.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with bullies in your home. How unsettling. I agree that distancing yourself in any way would be good and to remember that people who are jerks, bullies, and mean, are projecting their "stuff" onto us and to not get sucked in. |
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Have Hope
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#25
Buffy, I can relate. I am trying to do the same thing. I'd love to learn more about how to create healthy boundaries. I take things far too personally at times, when it's someone else's issues at play, and not mine.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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TishaBuv
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#26
Maintaining healthy boundaries takes two. You lay down your boundary, but the other person has to respect it. When they won’t respect you, that’s when you have to either let them cross your boundary or stop them in their tracks by getting away from them (literally physically leaving or ending the relationship).
There’s pain in ending those relationships. It may be with a person who you thought cares about you. But if they don’t have any respect for you, do it they really care for you? There’s grieving when you enforce your boundary and end the relationship, even when it was an abusive one. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Have Hope
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#27
I just found this, since we're talking about healthy boundaries:
What are healthy boundaries? 1. Saying no without guilt 2. Asking for what you want and need 3. Taking care of yourself 4. Doing things out of interest/desire, not out of obligation or to please others 5. Behaving according to your own values and beliefs 6. Feeling safe to express difficult emotions and have disagreements 7. Pursuing your own goals 8. Taking responsibility for your own happiness 9. Not feeling responsible for someone else’s happiness 10. Being in tune with your own feelings 11. Knowing who you are, what you believe, what you like __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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TishaBuv
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#28
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__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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AzulOscuro
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#29
I wonder if one of the reasons why most of Western people struggle so often as to what setting boundaries regards is our Christian cultural background.
I say it with respect for the good part this culture, that is my own one, involves. I do admit that I admire of that idea of loving the others as we love ourselves and all that concept of feeling guilty is needed to be a better person. But, maybe we took it to the extreme and sometimes when we fail or cannot sort of accomplish these principles, the weight of failure and feeling of guiltiness is so hard that we end up feeling kind of selfish if we see us force to set boundaries. I’m telling this because I often feel bad with myself when I have to make clear my rights or the way I want to be treat. I’m not sure. Feel like if what I sort of have in the ADN is to take in the situation and forgive. It’s kind of what it’s supposed from a good person, right? __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Buffy01
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#30
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Buffy01
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#31
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Buffy01
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#32
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Buffy01
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#33
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Buffy01
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#34
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Thank you for sharing this information wit us about healthy boundaries |
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Wise Elder
Buffy01
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#35
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Buffy01
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#36
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Fuzzybear
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#37
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Wise Elder
Buffy01
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#38
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