*TRIGGER WARNING* Let's share how acceptance has changed our lives

My main reason for starting this thread is because I see so many here who are reluctant to accept what is hurting them or what bothers them. My goal is to make as clear as possible why I also resisted and how I benefited, and still do to this day, by accepting what bothers me. I hope other members who know the benefits will do the same, how they want to, and add to this thread.

So, I understand avoidance because I experienced the same thing. Not exactly as any of you, but you know what I mean. All of my life, my family abused me. I had bundled and balled up inside me those emotions I knew nothing about. They scared me because I didn’t know what would happen if I opened them up. I worried I would explode into a rage and hurt someone.

I didn’t.

But, I also pushed the feelings I had to face away because it was more of the same hatred my family saturated me in. I could not bring myself to experience that toxic waste on purpose, hearing them chant how useless I was.

Also, it took me forever to understand and learn that what was done to me was a fact of my life. It was my reality, something I could not go back and change.

I had been in therapy off and on for several years and around 2011 the very reasons I was IN therapy was to rid myself of the pain they caused me, and better my life for myself.

That significant important day arrived because I could no longer push it away. It enveloped me. I had to face it or I would have relapsed. You see, I struggled to better myself, but I kept sabotaging my efforts. I went round and round with my therapist about it. I could not understand why I kept doing that.

She suggested hypnotherapy and I agreed. At that point, I would have done a headstand with a pickle up my nose if it would she said it would help me.

I recorded the sessions and at home, I listened to them 2 or 3 times a day. That got those pent up damaged, wounded feelings moving. I cried, and I cried, and I cried. I realized crying was helping me so I watched movies that made me sad on purpose. 12 Years a Slave was one. I could barely bring myself to watch that movie, but I did. The Salem Witch Trials was another and Les Miserable as well.

I would listen to worship music and cry.

I did this for months and as I went, I worked on facing and accepting what I was afraid of. That is when I first started blogging about facing my fears and about being overweight.

That was October 17, 2012.

I carefully paced myself. That is SUPER important!! Pacing in healing emotions is everything! It’s MY healing and I move at the pace I want.

Don’t let anybody tell you any different. YOU call the shots on that!

So, since I started blogging, my life has slowly gotten better because my emotions began to heal. The deepest healing I needed began when I accepted HOW I FELT about the monstrosities my family did to me.

I realized that forgiving them did not enter the picture. Once I got through the bulk of how they wounded me, the nagging emotions stopped bothering me. Yes, I still have flashbacks, but my self-esteem is healing and is STRONG! Otherwise I would not be writing about the abuse I survived and posting it on Medium for the world to see.

I would be cowering in my apartment, terrified they would find out I broke my silence and outed them as abusers.

But, I am not. I relish the opportunity to confront them, letting them know they no longer have any power over me and never will again.

So, what are the benefits I experience?

First, once I got through what I needed to accept about my upbringing, solutions slowly popped into my brain. I began to get glimpses of what I could do and how I could use my skills to better myself and my life.

If something baffled me, I accepted that feeling and after I did that, solutions showed up. It was like I was guided into them. I could be online and then I would see an article about the subject I had questions about. Or I would be at the store and I would find the answers I needed.

Did I mention that those problems disappeared from my thinking? Also, I can think on my feet now. If I find myself in a situation that would have upset me in the past, I sail through it and I keep going. It doesn’t trip me up like it did because my emotions are stronger now.

I haven’t had to use sleep aids in months. When I go to sleep at night, my mind is quiet. I don’t have crap rolling around, nagging me, robbing me of sleep.

I can think without distractions.

My concentration and comprehension have improved.

I am still deep in debt, but I am happily doing everything I can to earn a living and get out of poverty.

I have NO CRAVINGS!! Even though I have a TON of unmet needs, I have NO cravings! That alone is huge!

I am happy. I am content. That doesn’t mean I don’t get sad at times, because I do, but I don’t stay sad. I get through it. I am moving forward, confident things will get better because I am carefully pulling my resources together to succeed.

Thanks for sharing your story - you are overcoming so much!

My first thought when reading your story is that I have nothing comparable to share but I do have progress about acceptance although different to yours.

I no longer feel the need to apologise to myself or others for who I am. I am enough. I have my own journey as others have theirs.

I wrote this whole long thing yesterday then deleted it.

I'm learning to accept......myself. When I **** up, its quite hard (to practice self acceptance).

Anyway, Happy Crafter, you are an inspiration and bring sunshine to this forum as well. Thank you.

@Discombobulated

Congratulations!! That is a BIG Improvement! And, please, only compare yourself to you and how you were. Not to me, Sweetpea!

@WovenGalaxy

I hear you! I am glad to hear you are learning; it's quite the process, isn't it? I thank you for your kind words! If I can bring some sunshine to someone's day, I am delighted!

@Fuzzybear and @Skeezyks I thank you both for your support and encouragement!!

Thank you for sharing this amazing blog with us. You are doing something positive. Congratulations!

Thank you, @Buffy01

Your welcome happycrafter!

I accept the things I cannot change and have no control over. I accept that I hate my job and want out asap. I accept that my marriage has its share of problems and that it's far from perfect but it's still OK. I accept that people are imperfect. I accept all that is imperfect in my life. That's my two cents.