Depression and anger after confrontation

Yesterday, a couple of mindless kids attacked me at my workplace. Security later told me that I was one of three random people that they tried to start a fight with. I handled it somewhat well to the extent that I did not engage them physically - but then, I have never been a fighter.
But, I was shaken during the entire encounter during which a whole basket full of words were exchanged. They assaulted me three times, but I kept my hands to myself for the simple reason that I know what could happen should I allow them to experience the full brunt of the creature that is sleeping inside me.
Now, 21 hours later, I'm starting to experience feelings of depression and anger with myself for not just letting the issue go. So two questions arise:

1. How can I stop these feelings of depression and anger toward myself for not letting it go?; and
2. I recently read something that said that one can utilize anger to convert feelings of vulnerability and helplessness into feelings of control and power. Is there some way that I can utilize anger in the very moment to convert feelings of vulnerability and helplessness, and thoughts of violence, into a sense of absolute power (control of the self)?

Welcome to Psych Central.

I'm really sorry to hear you were attacked at work. talk about unsettling.

This is something I'm not even remotely an expert on, but I have experienced shocking and unexpected painful things before at the hands of others, and I can relate in that way. I don't know the answer to your q in #2. For #1, it makes sense to me that you would feel anger and depression and a number of different negative emotions after something like this, especially if it was a surprise, a shock.

While I haven't read or heard what you had said about anger, here's what I would do if it were me: 1.) this happened yesterday. Give yourself time. Time to settle, time to process. Also, what do you mean by saying you have anger at yourself for not letting this go? Are you trying not to think about it but "can't help it"? This happened yesterday. I'd still be thinking about it too. 2.) Could you maybe distract yourself with something you enjoy? 3.) If you are beating yourself up, try to be nice to yourself too. Remember that you did the best you could in the moment with what you had.

I am sorry you had such a scary day. That said, how can you expect to exert mastery over a situation you have basically zero control over? That is not realistic, unless you are Batman.

There is a trial going on here now. A man on our loca rail, called MAX, was shouting racist slurs at two young women on the train in 2017. Two other men moved to stand in front of the women to block the man from having any physical path to them. The man doing the racist yelling shoved one of the good samaritans in the chest. He shoved back. The racist screamer, then took out a folding 4-inch knife and stabbed both men in the carotid and vertebral arteries, respectively, killing both. It took 12 seconds from start to finish.

My father is a very wise man. When I moved to NYC for college long ago, he warned me not to get into it with strangers ever. No matter what. "You don't know them. You have no idea what they might be capable of."

As usual, this was excellent counsel.

Being fearful or sad or just upset about your recent situation is an appropriate response to those events. Disengaging as best you can is the only safe move. You don't want to end up like teh two good samaritans in Portland.

I second the advice given by previous posters. People are strange, crazy and potentially dangerous when provoked. Violence creates negative environments for all involved. Chances are those who were doing the attacking have a hostile environment to return to. Being that the attacks were random, I hope you don't take the incident personally, but I can see how you may feel targeted. Once the initial shock wears away, you are left with life experience and possibly a valuable lesson. Accepting what happened may be difficult but it is totally within your power to move on and better yourself from this experience. I understand why you may feel vulnerable and seek to be in better control of yourself and what is within your power.

Thank you to everyone for your answers.
Here's what I meant by being angry with myself for not letting it go:

In the encounter, I could have simply let it go, meaning not responded in any way whatsoever. but I didn't, and that is what bothers me the most.

Hey Darkfeelings, I still think you did the best you could in the moment. Truly, we all have times in our lives when we look back at something and think "if only I had done this instead of that." We are all doing the best we can while also wanting to do better. Again, I am sorry you had that experience. It sounds rattling and really, like you are beating yourself up. It is natural for us, all of us, actually, to go into non-compassion mode toward ourselves when something really upsetting happens that we didn't expect. But we can counter act this by being compassionate and kind to ourselves. Really, that means, how would you talk to a good friend if it happened to them? And what do you want to hear? Is there some kind of advice or support that you need to hear that you aren't getting from others or from yourself? What do you need to hear? It's probably true, whatever positive / supportive thing that may be.


Also I want to acknowledge that it appears to me that you are trying to make this right for yourself (to feel better), and you are asking good questions in my opinion. I personally may not have all the answers, but you have my support as much as an online forum support can give.