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Default Mar 22, 2020 at 11:42 AM
  #1
I am asking here because I think it's a good place to ask this

is anyone here struggling with thinking this corona isolation is actually abandonment?

the other day I saw my friend gemma. she stood with me and I pointed out how I'd not seen her for a while, and she pointed out that no one's really seen anyone, because of this whole social distancing going on.

then I had to ask her 20 30 times if she still liked me and still wanted to be my friend

and it's happened with other people too

is anyone else going through this?
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Default Mar 22, 2020 at 12:07 PM
  #2
I think in times like this it’s good to call text or email or otherwise keep in touch with others. If you can’t see them it doesn’t mean you can’t communicate by other means.
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Default Mar 22, 2020 at 03:40 PM
  #3
Hi raging vortex, that sounds like a really difficult feeling and state of mind. Was it perhaps the way your friend Gemma said it? Did she reassure you when you asked her if she still liked you?


I agree with divine. there are other modes of communication during this time, like calling, texting, emailing, etc. A friend of mine asked me to get tea or go for a walk with her because she was in need of company. But I opted to talk on the phone instead. I was surprised she suggested it actually.


I have not felt abandoned, no. I am not gonna lie though, the isolation has been hard emotionally, even for an introvert like me. It's important to take care of ourselves always, even or especially now. You sound pretty self aware and like you know it's your symptoms acting up and not the truth.
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Default Mar 22, 2020 at 11:02 PM
  #4
I can understand feeling lonely or isolated during covid. We're so use to connecting, seeing people in our daily lives. I would talk to your friend how you are feeling. During this time I would connect with phone calls, text, email, Skype, or FaceTime
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Default Mar 23, 2020 at 11:34 AM
  #5
Yeah, I've been trying to connect in different ways through the internet. I mean, I get on facebook but I feel like that's not great for my mental health. I've opted instead of facebook and twitter for sending whatsapp and texts and whatnot.


And video calls to people. But that's mostly to my parents and family. It's okay though. I need to connect with them, too.
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Default Mar 23, 2020 at 12:07 PM
  #6
I had abandonment from family members before the pandemic. There has been no change. Not even a pandemic could get them to contact me.

I texted my son. He replies that he was going to contact me, but it had gotten too late last night. BS. I had a nice call with my nephew, my sister’s son. He hadn’t done anything to hurt me, so I had nothing against him. He lives in the epicenter of the pandemic. I asked how he was doing. Nope, my sister still has not reached out to me, and she never will. We’ll both die in this pandemic and never speak again, and it was over nothing except she refused to support me against our abusive mother and have my back over a year and a half ago.

I came from a disturbingly messed up family. This is proof of that.

I have family and friends who are physically isolating, but we have been in contact and trying to lift each other’s spirits.

Then I have family and ex friends who truly abandoned me. Nothing will ever make them change their minds. Note: I was a really good sister, daughter, friend, mother.

I’m so depressed I’m off the deep end. I’m isolating in a home with husband, who I don’t have a healthy relationship with and teen son, who has as little to do with us as possible (maybe because he’s a teen?). I’m physically safe for now and not sick yet. Emotionally, I’m a goner.

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Default Mar 24, 2020 at 09:56 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Christmas cookie View Post
I can understand feeling lonely or isolated during covid. We're so use to connecting, seeing people in our daily lives. I would talk to your friend how you are feeling. During this time I would connect with phone calls, text, email, Skype, or FaceTime


I hope it will be over soon (though something tells me it won't)

it helps that it's a topic I can discuss here. I have, believe it or not, hgeard of loads of places where they've banned talk of corona (and I don't agree with it, it's a hot topic right now)
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Default Mar 24, 2020 at 04:10 PM
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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
I hope it will be over soon (though something tells me it won't)

it helps that it's a topic I can discuss here. I have, believe it or not, hgeard of loads of places where they've banned talk of corona (and I don't agree with it, it's a hot topic right now)
Let’s not censor talk of it and feelings about it. Thanks for posting!

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Default Mar 25, 2020 at 11:04 AM
  #9
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Let’s not censor talk of it and feelings about it. Thanks for posting!


yes!. exactly!. now, more than ever, we need each other (even if it is just virtually.)
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Default Mar 27, 2020 at 03:45 PM
  #10
I just sent a group email to my whole family wishing them all well in these ‘trying times’. I was the only one to do it. I was feeling so bad for the relationships with those few who crushed me with their being completely uncaring. But, at this time with all that is going on, it made me feel good to have the class to reach out to them, even if they had no inclination to do the same. I know I did the right thing. Shame on them. Maybe something good will come of it. If not, then it still gives me peace to know I reached out and showed I cared.

*Note- I am the one diagnosed with EDD and borderline traits...

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Default Mar 27, 2020 at 07:18 PM
  #11
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
I just sent a group email to my whole family wishing them all well in these ‘trying times’. I was the only one to do it. I was feeling so bad for the relationships with those few who crushed me with their being completely uncaring. But, at this time with all that is going on, it made me feel good to have the class to reach out to them, even if they had no inclination to do the same. I know I did the right thing. Shame on them. Maybe something good will come of it. If not, then it still gives me peace to know I reached out and showed I cared.

*Note- I am the one diagnosed with EDD and borderline traits...




Good for you. I did to same thing. And felt exactly as you do. My family of origin is so...for lack of a better word...just plan rude. They will only be moved by an invitation to communicate if there is something in it for them. I don't offer "social cachet" so they don't care about me. I got one-line replies to my text. I felt texting them to check in was the right thing to do...but there wasn't any emotional reward. Just the same old aftertaste of ash and dirt in my mouth. But I am glad we both did the same thing. With class, yes.

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Default Mar 27, 2020 at 07:37 PM
  #12
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
I just sent a group email to my whole family wishing them all well in these ‘trying times’. I was the only one to do it. I was feeling so bad for the relationships with those few who crushed me with their being completely uncaring. But, at this time with all that is going on, it made me feel good to have the class to reach out to them, even if they had no inclination to do the same. I know I did the right thing. Shame on them. Maybe something good will come of it. If not, then it still gives me peace to know I reached out and showed I cared.

*Note- I am the one diagnosed with EDD and borderline traits...
It is my opinion that BPD, traits of, etc, is something misunderstood and stigmatized very much in society. Its like how being gay was in the 80s. Stigma. "Bad." Etc. You are right to roll your eyes as there are worse things and worse people than a BPD diagnosis. At least you are getting help and trying with them. I admire you for that, Tisha.

Edit: bpd is a serious diagnosis. Along with it, can come problems for the person with the diagnosis, and the ppl around them. But its treatable. That's good news.

You don't have to be mean to have bpd, and you don't have to have bpd to be mean.

Again, I admire you for trying with them. Sometimes groups are toxic too. Its not always just 1 person who is the problem.

Last edited by WovenGalaxy; Mar 27, 2020 at 09:29 PM..
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Default Mar 27, 2020 at 07:49 PM
  #13
I don’t have abandonment issues but my therapist had told me she was going to call me about an appointment but when I went to check in with her I got a voice message saying she was anticipating being back in the office in a week. I kind of did feel abandoned by her a bit. Maybe just like more freaked out though by the message. I didn’t bring it up to her though.

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Default Apr 09, 2020 at 03:09 PM
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Good for you. I did to same thing. And felt exactly as you do. My family of origin is so...for lack of a better word...just plan rude. They will only be moved by an invitation to communicate if there is something in it for them. I don't offer "social cachet" so they don't care about me. I got one-line replies to my text. I felt texting them to check in was the right thing to do...but there wasn't any emotional reward. Just the same old aftertaste of ash and dirt in my mouth. But I am glad we both did the same thing. With class, yes.
They sound like the ''family'' of origin here.


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