advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Merope
Veteran Member
Merope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Somewhere in a cloud
Posts: 719
5 yr Member
479 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 18, 2020 at 06:35 AM
  #1
I'm "trying" to be a writer, but every time I submit something (short stories, creative non-fiction), I get rejected. I know that this is normal and I also know that getting rejected when you're trying to put your work out there is to be expected. The first few times it happened, I managed to look beyond the disappointment and became determined to improve. It was actually quite a constructive process and my writing got better.

This last time, however, something shifted and I can't look beyond the disappointment. It feels like a weight that I can't lift. I am full of self-doubt and self-criticism. The piece that got rejected was extremely vulnerable and self-revealing and now I feel extremely embarrassed for even submitting in the first place. I worry that the panel who judged it either frowned in confusion and decreed that I was mad, or laughed at how bad my writing is. They don't offer feedback, so I can't even know if I am sort of on the right track.

I worry that I'm thinking about this whole thing from the wrong point of view. I'm latching on to the disappointment and the self-doubt and every time I look at the piece I'm currently working on, I am filled with anger and want to delete everything. I know this all sounds quite ridiculous--we are in the midst of a global pandemic and yet here I am, worrying about whether I will ever make it as a writer.

I just feel like my need to write is closely tied to my personality especially because I'm not writing fiction. It seems like the rejection is personal and it says something bad about who I am as a person.

I don't know how to get the excitement and the drive back. I want to improve, but I don't know how to stop feeling so raw about this rejection. I don't want to give up, but I feel like I need to think about writing in a different way in order to avoid ending up feeling completely miserable.

Has anyone dealt with this sort of thing before?

Thank you in advance.

Merope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
mote.of.soul, Open Eyes, Yaowen
 
Thanks for this!
Open Eyes, winter4me

advertisement
Yaowen
Grand Magnate
 
Yaowen's Avatar
Yaowen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
6,475 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 18, 2020 at 12:04 PM
  #2
Dear Merope,

I am so sorry you are having these experiences. Having some experience in the publishing world before now I have learned many things. I have seen work that is not accepted based on things having absolutely nothing to do with the works themselves. And it was not a rare phenomenon. I have seen manuscripts rejected that were sometimes not read at all or only skimmed. I saw so much of this that I don't believe anyone ought to take it personally when a manuscript is not accepted for publication. There were good and great books that were rejected by publishers.

Books are becoming more and more expensive and publishers are often afraid of risk and turn down many things which they believe would not make them enough money to be worth it for them. Economics drives a lot of decision making. I am sure you have heard stories in the world art and painting where good and even great works of art could not be sold during the lifetime of the painters and yet now sell for millions of dollars. The same is true in the world of books. Quality is not also a qualification for publication. There are fads in what is popular in reading and there have been books written that were sort of silly really. There is an element of luck and fickleness in the publishing business so I would hope that you would be able to, if possible, rise above the disappointment and self-criticism you are experiencing.

Writing itself can be a pleasure and joy even when it is not published. Book publishing is not an exact science. There is probably an audience out there for what you write, an audience that is looking for what you write, but publishers and editors are the gate keepers and decide what gets printed. Every writer can say to himself or herself: I could be better at this. And that is true. But it is also true that every writer can say to himself or herself: I could be worse than I am at this, but I am not worse.

I wish I knew what to say to be helpful but sadly I don't. Hopefully many members here will have good words for you and you will be able to find at least some to be helpful to you. I think it is great that you write. I hope you will continue to write and not be discouraged. So sorry if I could not be helpful to you. I wish you only the very best!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
Yaowen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Merope
 
Thanks for this!
winter4me
Merope
Veteran Member
Merope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Somewhere in a cloud
Posts: 719
5 yr Member
479 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 19, 2020 at 05:20 AM
  #3
Thank you so much for this, Yao Wen!

It's helpful to see things put into perspective. You're right that writing can be a joy even when it is not published--I need to remind myself of that. Perhaps the way forward is taking a little break and then going back without expectation. I need to go back to the basics, to find the enjoyment of it again. Maybe this rejection will be a constructive experience in the end.

I hope you are well and thank you once again for your helpful reply.

Merope
Merope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
nicoleflynn
Grand Magnate
nicoleflynn has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
10 yr Member
60 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 19, 2020 at 06:20 AM
  #4
After many rejections, I self-published.
nicoleflynn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Merope
winter4me
Wise Elder
 
winter4me's Avatar
winter4me has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: new england
Posts: 7,733
10 yr Member
1,818 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 19, 2020 at 06:20 AM
  #5
Hang in there! Keep writing! And, don't be afraid to resubmit your 'rejected' material to other potential publishers. It is really hard not to take this kind of personally at first at least----it is a risky business letting the world inside...

__________________
"...don't say Home
/ the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris


winter4me is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Merope
Anonymous42048
Guest
Anonymous42048 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default May 19, 2020 at 06:54 AM
  #6
Hey Merope,

I’ve been there with my movie scripts. I got beat up pretty good and what I can tell you is this: the truth is that they always look for commercial stories - in the bad meaning of this word "commercial". The good news is that the high-quality stories can be commercial as well.

You said: “I just feel like my need to write is closely tied to my personality especially because I'm not writing fiction.”

This may be it. Something means a lot to you and it’s deep, hands down, but the truth is that I’m not you. Those people out there are not you. We may not see the depth. You have to find empathy and understand that we’re talking about a market here. Find a way to engage me, teach me how I should perceive your story. Maybe I want to be entertained, though. Maybe I’m into dumb jokes rather than something meaningful. It doesn’t work with you? Then I’m sorry but I’m out.

The second lesson is to accept that the reality is harsh. Art and depth are extras in this movie. Character development, deep-seated and intense conflict, surprising twists and turns – these are way more important. You need to master your skills. Your story has to be engaging and entertaining if you want the audience to go along for the ride.

I’m not trying to bring you down here. I wish you all the best and I believe you know what you’ve signed up for, pursuing this particular career path. I’m not saying you have to do what I say to meet success. But the fact is that since I’ve put up with these two, I experience A LOT of favorable reviews , and I’m currently working on my first film.

Do not give up and do not feel bad about yourself. There is always a way. Find it
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Merope, Open Eyes
Merope
Veteran Member
Merope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Somewhere in a cloud
Posts: 719
5 yr Member
479 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 21, 2020 at 08:00 AM
  #7
Thank you all so much for replying! After taking some time away from writing, I feel better about it and am ready to try again. I hope you are all doing well!
Merope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
mote.of.soul, Open Eyes
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:11 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.