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Old 05-29-2020, 11:59 PM   #1
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Default Dealing with the emotions of moving

Hello everyone,

I'm new here, so I apologize in advance if I'm not posting this in the proper location. What brings me to this site are some difficulties that I'm having in dealing with the emotions of moving. Yes, moving. What should be a very happy, exciting, and joyous time in my life has been proving to be otherwise. In fact, just the thought of it is making me incredibly sad. After living in our current home for the past 13 years, my husband and I have just sold it and purchased a new house. The home that we purchased just so happens to be directly across the street from my childhood home and my parents still live there, so we will be their neighbors, which will be great, especially since they are getting older and are requiring more and more help these days. The house we are moving into is a house that I have always loved and admired. It almost doesn't even seem real that it's about to be our home. Anyway, here is some background: My husband and I bought our current home in May of 2007, so we have been here for exactly 13 years. Prior to that, we rented a nice little house for about 6 years. This was the first home that we ever owned. It took a lot of hard work to be able to purchase it. I was just 25 years old when we bought it. We have put A LOT of work into this house over the years. We completely gutted and remodeled the entire kitchen in 2015, installed all new flooring throughout the house, painted every room, installed a big above-ground pool (which is coming with us to our new home), replaced the roof, the windows, the whole nine yards. Everything in this house was done by us and is a part of us. We have poured our hearts, our souls, and our bank account into this home for the past 13 years. However, over the last several years, we've really outgrown this space and we don't have nearly enough room. It just no longer suits us the way that it once did, especially now that our pack of Golden Retrievers has grown to 5! The one major thing that this house has always been lacking is storage. Our master bedroom doesn't even have a closet!!! It only has one tiny little postage stamp sized bathroom and no garage (something we have greatly missed since we bought this house - our previous rental house had one).

Additionally, this house has been a bottomless money pit over the years, with one thing after another after another sucking our paychecks away. About a year ago, we had to spend $10,000 for a new heating system after the old one crapped out. This house has also had electrical issues for about the past 6 years, which terrifies us, and the basement has a never ending mold issue, which has been a battle that we just haven't been able to win. It just keeps coming back and has been making us sick and our dogs and cats incredibly itchy. Also, our yard completely floods and turns into a lake whenever we have a decent amount of rain, which in turn causes the basement to flood. In fact, our furnace repair technician recently asked us, "Is this house cursed?!" I wholeheartedly had to agree with him! The final straw was when our property taxes went through the roof this past year. I have been so depressed for so many years because I feel like all I do is work (I am self-employed and work from home) to keep up with the endless demands of this house. My husband also works full-time, but I work about 60-70 hours a week every week. I have felt like a slave to this house and any and all free time that I once had is long since gone and is almost entirely nonexistent. We have no lives. It's all work, work, work because this needs to be fixed, that needs to be fixed, and this or that needs to be replaced, etc, etc. We have had no time for ourselves for at least the past 10 out of the 13 years we've been in this house. We just haven't had a single break. I almost feel like I've lost myself in this house. I'm not at all the same person I was when we first moved into this house back in 2007, not even remotely the same. I haven't been truly happy in years and have just had no drive or motivation to do anything but work an insane number of hours and am always feeling so tired and run down. All of the things that I used to love doing have felt like nothing but chores to me for the longest time. I have felt like this for years and I really miss the old me. This past winter, after our brand new roof had a massive leak and took out the electricity in our bathroom as well as the circuit that our furnace is on and a giant tree in our back yard came down in the middle of a snow storm and took our our dining room window, my husband and I finally had enough and agreed that it was time and we decided to put our house on the market in the spring and start house hunting.

Fast forward to present day, we have just sold our home and purchased a new one. Don't get me wrong, I am ECSTATIC about our new home. It's not even 10 minutes away and is in the EXACT neighborhood that we have been wanting to move to (where I grew up) and the house is giving us everything we have been lacking in our current home, including about 600 more square feet, 2 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms (our current home just has 2, one of which serves as my office), a heated attached garage, central AC, a beautiful fireplace, a 4-season Florida room with a wet bar....everything we could ever want or need. This house is also in immaculate condition inside and out and has been extremely well-maintained ever since it was built (it has only had 2 owners in 50 years). It has all new exterior doors, windows, siding, and a new roof, all done within the past few years. Even the basement is bone dry. So, my big question is: Why do I feel so sad and emotional about leaving this house that has been nothing but a constant headache for so many years?! All that aside, we have made many great memories in this home and have had so many wonderful times here over the past 13 years. I won't sit here and pretend that we didn't have any good times at all in this house, because that would be a blatant lie. I guess I just kind of feel like we are leaving all of those memories behind. I know, we will always have those memories with us, but it's the physical brick and mortar house that is attached to all of those memories. At least that's they way I see it in my mind. We also have a few pets who have passed on over the years who are buried in the back yard, so it kind of makes me a little sad to leave them behind (as ridiculous as that may sound). I will sorely miss our neighbors as well. We just adore them, so it will be very sad to have to say goodbye. My husband seems to be having a much easier time with this than me. He just wants out of this house, and I do, too. I really do. It's just proving to be A LOT harder and far more emotional than I ever expected it to be. I literally curse over something about this house on a daily basis, so I should NOT be feeling like this!

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with all of these emotions I'm having in relation to this upcoming move? One moment, I'll be so excited about our new house that I can barely contain myself and then an hour or two later, I'll be in tears over how much I will miss this house. My husband is starting to think I'm losing my mind. We close on our new house tomorrow and then will gradually move over the coming weeks until we close on the sale of our house.

Sorry that this was a bit lengthy! I certainly didn't intend to write a small novel.
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Old 05-30-2020, 01:56 AM   #2
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Default Re: Dealing with the emotions of moving

Sorry to hear its a tough transition for you, and moving can sometimes be exciting and fun, and yet is a big adjustment. Maybe you can make a scrap book out of photos from your old house to help remember the fun times spent there. Also give yourself time to adjust, rest, and stay busy setting up the new house how you like it.

Have fun setting up a new house.
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