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LilyMop
Hoping
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 709
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#1
Have you ever noticed that as you work through your heartaches and work on self-improvement and growth... you get really picky about who you want in your personal space?
I’ve worked hard for the past several months to overcome what felt like utter heartbreak to me. I feel like I’m growing stronger and more independent. I have nobody except my husband and my doggies and I’ve finally gotten to the point I’m ok with that. I have a simple and quiet life but there’s a lot of love. It feels like nails on a chalkboard when I’m around people that give me an uncomfortable vibe. I’m realizing how much I used to be completely oblivious or I used to blame myself when I was around people I didn’t mesh well with. I did not take care of myself very well when it came to boundaries and protecting emotional or mental well being. I walk away very quickly when red flags go up and I feel even a little uncomfortable around someone. I hope I don’t run everybody off. I think my friendships are growing stronger and I still want to make new friends. I often feel like an outsider and that makes me feel a bit sad but I have to remind myself of the trade off. |
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mote.of.soul
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Anonymous32451
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#2
I get like this when I am feeling suicidal
if you don't get it, and you don't understand suicide, then I don't want you in my space type of thing I guess my only other time I am like this, is when people who are too positive try to be friends with me. I don't have a problem with positivity, not at all. what I have a problem with though are the people who can find something positive from every single situation and reply with something like well, it could be worse positivity just doesn't work for me. I would rather people who are neutral when it coms to experiences. they can see the good side, and they can see the bad side too. I have had a difficult life, and for me it's just as important that I have people in my life who can understand and talk about it, without going well... at least this isn't happening or what ever. makes me irritated |
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JForbes369
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Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: London
Posts: 5
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#3
Yes. I went through that a lil over a year ago. It was awesome. However before i experienced it. I went through period for almost year fighting with myself. The only thing i could feel was anger or nothing. I let other people actions and drams only increase and bring out the anger. I caught myself while i was in the process of commiting an action that is something i would not ever be able to take back. What stopped me the voice in my head asking if this is what i would want my boys to hear of. This one question started a process of self reflection. I began to undetstand that emotions are a choice. We cant control others only how we react. Started to be able to relate with others and grasp an idea of other perspectives. During this time i was still surrounded by negativity constantly my ex. His friends, some neighbors. I began to recognize the negative vibes. And instead of absorbing them i learned to either block them or avoid them when possible. I learned to be true to me regardless started studying psychology, religions, occult practices, as well as philosophy. I began to change the person i was into the person I wanted to me. I started letting go of things, forgiving myself and others. Stopped reacting when having conversations with people that struggle to properly communicate. I felt alive again like i had found something i had lost when i was younger. After about a year this state of being started to flip flop back and forth. Feeling anger and frustration start to build inside me. I came to the realiztion that me just shutting out others negativity or attacks on my person wasnt enough. At first i believed it would be i would just be the better person and suck it up and treat them the way i wanted to be. I realized that this method was wrong as well as these individuals belived they were getting way with it and would go about causing problems from any angle that thet could think of. Showing no respect and not realizing in the least that theit actions/ intentions were malicious, or ignorant. I then knew what i had been doing wrong. When they had continued their assault n not changed i had become pissed of and frustrated due to lack of respect however i had held it in. So i changed it up. I still am me and dont believe in going out of my way to start ****. However when they are in my presence and anyone starts with the crap i call them on it straight up and tell them my opinion of their behaviour, and in short exactly what i think of them. It has started to relieve the frustration again. One thing i always make sute to watch how i word things and to say my piece in a matter of factly how i see and feel about the whole thing. Thankful now its getting easier again, anger is gone. I am blubbering while watching shows again. The only issue is my thoughts r always jumping around anytime i am resting or trying to go to bed. About nething, n everything. It sometimes gets annoying when inside my head my brain is always trying to figure out what else could this mean? Jumping around attempting to see things from othets perspective. Speculating. Theorizing,. Annoyin when i want to sleep like now..
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