Is this PTSD?

NeedHelp104 · Jul 09, 2020 at 02:29 PM

When I was a child, I had a teacher who was very rough on me. He would humiliate me, shame me, etc, if I did not get things right. For example, performing tasks such as tying things would lead to him calling me names, yelling at me that I am stupid, etc. It became so intense that every time I had to tie things (even at 23) I became intensely anxious and nervous that I avoided doing them. Every-time I thought of tying something it brought me back to that moment. I recently begun EMDR therapy and these unprocessed memories negative effects on me vanished. I would get intensely anxious thinking of it, and sometimes I would have visual memories of it bringing me BACK to that exact moment, feeling anxious, humiliated.

What are your guys thoughts on this? I have recovered and it feels like a new world to me with EMDR therapy. I am wondering if this is PTSD.

Skeezyks · Jul 10, 2020 at 01:57 PM

Well... I haven't had EMDR therapy. So I don't know much about that. But what you described in your post certainly sounds like PTSD to me... or perhaps cPTSD. But I think this is something a mental health professional would have to determine. Either way it's great that you feel you experienced so much success with EMDR therapy!

Christmas cookie · Jul 16, 2020 at 04:10 PM

It sounds like ptsd . Im not a professional and also was diagnosed with ptsd Im glad EMDR therapy was helpful

MsLady · Jul 17, 2020 at 12:50 AM

Gee, what were you having to tie at school?!
Sounds like PTSD.

Have Hope · Jul 17, 2020 at 09:22 PM

Yes. EMDR therapy specifically treats PTSD. Were you diagnosed first? Or they just gave you EMDR without telling you have PSTD?

NeedHelp104 · Jul 18, 2020 at 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Yes. EMDR therapy specifically treats PTSD. Were you diagnosed first? Or they just gave you EMDR without telling you have PSTD?

I was not diagnosed. I actually learned EMDR on my own and found it working very well. I have my first psychologist appt soon so hopefully I will get a diagnosis. I just wondering what others thoughts are.

NeedHelp104 · Jul 19, 2020 at 11:07 AM

I recently had a job interview somewhere. THe interview looked pretty well, and I believe they will give me the job. However, I have since realized my mental health has been MUCH WORSE than I thought. I know that I'm going to break down once I'm on the job. I am a confident person when I articulate myself---wait until I perform something. It's part of my mental illness. Idk what to do. Should I go through with it? I want the job but at same time I dont because I dont think I will be able to cope with it.

Open Eyes · Jul 19, 2020 at 11:55 AM

It sounds like you have anxiety and need to develop more skills to manage it better. Feeling anxious about a new job is normal. If it’s a job you would like to have I say go for it as you are probably going to be fine once you get settled in and develop a work routine.

I trained both ponies and children both nervous and not sure yet once put into a routine they settle in and do well. Both human and animal brains are designed to navigate. Once we learn to navigate a task we settle in and get used to it and we don’t tax our frontal area of our brain as much as so much becomes familiar and routine.

Open Eyes · Jul 19, 2020 at 12:30 PM

The teacher you described experiencing was a horrible maladaptive teacher who performed his job terribly. His job was to help you build confidence in building your tying skills instead of showing you selfish impatience on his part. Teaching is not about damaging a child’s self esteem but instead helping a child develop more self esteem.

Some people are just plain jerks and life will expose us to these kind of people and we learn to see them for the maladaptive individuals they are and distance ourselves from them.

NeedHelp104 · Jul 19, 2020 at 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

The teacher you described experiencing was a horrible maladaptive teacher who performed his job terribly. His job was to help you build confidence in building your tying skills instead of showing you selfish impatience on his part. Teaching is not about damaging a child’s self esteem but instead helping a child develop more self esteem.

Some people are just plain jerks and life will expose us to these kind of people and we learn to see them for the maladaptive individuals they are and distance ourselves from them.

It's just that I get intense emotional flashbacks. Many times I shut down and completely zone out. I am starting to recover but I am afraid of what could happen.

seesaw · Jul 19, 2020 at 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedHelp104

It's just that I get intense emotional flashbacks. Many times I shut down and completely zone out. I am starting to recover but I am afraid of what could happen.

Those do sound like ptsd symptoms but it's best to consult a doctor for a real diagnosis.

I'm sorry you had to live through that.

Open Eyes · Jul 19, 2020 at 01:23 PM

Yes I believe you and I have experienced that myself. I think you did a good job explaining a childhood experience that genuinely hurt you leaving you to re-experience being hurt by that teacher.

When we are young we don’t have the ability yet to understand how some adult authority figures are genuinely lacking in ability to do their job helping a child develop healthy self esteem. Truth is some teachers are actually defective bullies. Bullies lack the ability to consider and respect self esteem in others. And these kind of individuals make terrible teachers and parents. They are disordered malfunctioning adults. Children don’t have the life skills to understand that or even how to react to adult bullying.

It’s not surprising you remember how that made you feel.

NeedHelp104 · Jul 19, 2020 at 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Yes I believe you and I have experienced that myself. I think you did a good job explaining a childhood experience that genuinely hurt you leaving you to re-experience being hurt by that teacher.

When we are young we don’t have the ability yet to understand how some adult authority figures are genuinely lacking in ability to do their job helping a child develop healthy self esteem. Truth is some teachers are actually defective bullies. Bullies lack the ability to consider and respect self esteem in others. And these kind of individuals make terrible teachers and parents. They are disordered malfunctioning adults. Children don’t have the life skills to understand that or even how to react to adult bullying.

It’s not surprising you remember how that made you feel.

so true. its also that EMDR helped me realize it is'nt just this memory but there's seriously 1,000 more. It really is an eye opening thing but it's scary to see how much i shoved and never coped.

Open Eyes · Jul 19, 2020 at 03:00 PM

I can believe that as an injured self esteem like what you described can contribute to suppressed self doubt. A child can believe an adult bully and genuinely not know what to do with the self doubt the adult created. Can create future challenges with authority figures.

seesaw · Jul 19, 2020 at 07:09 PM

I think if you get the job you should try it. Working might actually help the PTSD versus make it worse. Sometimes the interaction with others and feeling of productivity can truly help.

Open Eyes · Jul 20, 2020 at 08:38 AM

I agree with seesaw NeedHelp, you are at an age where you are starting to engage in the working world. The best way to work out these old injuries is to move forward in building yourself where you can see for yourself gradually that you CAN do well.

In my time working and teaching children what I learned is that while some students may have learned slower, often once they did they rose above the others.

NeedHelp104 · Jul 20, 2020 at 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I agree with seesaw NeedHelp, you are at an age where you are starting to engage in the working world. The best way to work out these old injuries is to move forward in building yourself where you can see for yourself gradually that you CAN do well.

In my time working and teaching children what I learned is that while some students may have learned slower, often once they did they rose above the others.

I agree. I just know I've had this issue my entire life. My hands, legs, etc. literally lock up doing performance tasks. I'm just incredibly worried about the environment and when I do lockup and look ridiculous they'll fire me or something. That's my fear. I hope you understand.

Open Eyes · Jul 20, 2020 at 09:47 AM

Oh, I definitey understand what you are saying. I myself struggle with ptsd and have had to work through challenges as well.

The thing is, you may end up doing well too, it's important you give yourself a chance.

seesaw · Jul 20, 2020 at 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedHelp104

I agree. I just know I've had this issue my entire life. My hands, legs, etc. literally lock up doing performance tasks. I'm just incredibly worried about the environment and when I do lockup and look ridiculous they'll fire me or something. That's my fear. I hope you understand.

I totally understand. Maybe you can ask for a reasonable accommodation to help with the anxiety. I'm not exactly sure what the request would be, it would have to be something to help you manage the task without disrupting the work. Do you have a social worker or case worker? Sometimes they can help with job placement and with accommodations on the job to help with issues like this.

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Christmas cookie Member Member Since Nov 2019 Location: Mars Posts: 122 4 58 hugs given	Jul 16, 2020 at 04:10 PM #3 It sounds like ptsd . Im not a professional and also was diagnosed with ptsd Im glad EMDR therapy was helpful
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MsLady Poohbah Member Since Mar 2020 Location: Earth Posts: 1,143 4 360 hugs given	Jul 17, 2020 at 12:50 AM #4 Gee, what were you having to tie at school?! Sounds like PTSD.
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Have Hope Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Eastern, USA Posts: 9,089 (SuperPoster!) 6 3,627 hugs given	Jul 17, 2020 at 09:22 PM #5 Yes. EMDR therapy specifically treats PTSD. Were you diagnosed first? Or they just gave you EMDR without telling you have PSTD? __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,115 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.3k hugs given	Jul 19, 2020 at 03:00 PM #14 I can believe that as an injured self esteem like what you described can contribute to suppressed self doubt. A child can believe an adult bully and genuinely not know what to do with the self doubt the adult created. Can create future challenges with authority figures.
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,115 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.3k hugs given	Jul 20, 2020 at 09:47 AM #18 Oh, I definitey understand what you are saying. I myself struggle with ptsd and have had to work through challenges as well. The thing is, you may end up doing well too, it's important you give yourself a chance.
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