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Member Since May 2017
Location: Los Angeles
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#1
When I was a child, I had a teacher who was very rough on me. He would humiliate me, shame me, etc, if I did not get things right. For example, performing tasks such as tying things would lead to him calling me names, yelling at me that I am stupid, etc. It became so intense that every time I had to tie things (even at 23) I became intensely anxious and nervous that I avoided doing them. Every-time I thought of tying something it brought me back to that moment. I recently begun EMDR therapy and these unprocessed memories negative effects on me vanished. I would get intensely anxious thinking of it, and sometimes I would have visual memories of it bringing me BACK to that exact moment, feeling anxious, humiliated.
What are your guys thoughts on this? I have recovered and it feels like a new world to me with EMDR therapy. I am wondering if this is PTSD. |
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Disreputable Old Troll
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#2
Well... I haven't had EMDR therapy. So I don't know much about that. But what you described in your post certainly sounds like PTSD to me... or perhaps cPTSD. But I think this is something a mental health professional would have to determine. Either way it's great that you feel you experienced so much success with EMDR therapy!
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Member
Member Since Nov 2019
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#3
It sounds like ptsd . Im not a professional and also was diagnosed with ptsd Im glad EMDR therapy was helpful
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2020
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#4
Gee, what were you having to tie at school?!
Sounds like PTSD. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
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#5
Yes. EMDR therapy specifically treats PTSD. Were you diagnosed first? Or they just gave you EMDR without telling you have PSTD?
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Member
Member Since May 2017
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#6
I was not diagnosed. I actually learned EMDR on my own and found it working very well. I have my first psychologist appt soon so hopefully I will get a diagnosis. I just wondering what others thoughts are.
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Member
Member Since May 2017
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#7
I recently had a job interview somewhere. THe interview looked pretty well, and I believe they will give me the job. However, I have since realized my mental health has been MUCH WORSE than I thought. I know that I'm going to break down once I'm on the job. I am a confident person when I articulate myself---wait until I perform something. It's part of my mental illness. Idk what to do. Should I go through with it? I want the job but at same time I dont because I dont think I will be able to cope with it.
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#8
It sounds like you have anxiety and need to develop more skills to manage it better. Feeling anxious about a new job is normal. If it’s a job you would like to have I say go for it as you are probably going to be fine once you get settled in and develop a work routine.
I trained both ponies and children both nervous and not sure yet once put into a routine they settle in and do well. Both human and animal brains are designed to navigate. Once we learn to navigate a task we settle in and get used to it and we don’t tax our frontal area of our brain as much as so much becomes familiar and routine. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#9
The teacher you described experiencing was a horrible maladaptive teacher who performed his job terribly. His job was to help you build confidence in building your tying skills instead of showing you selfish impatience on his part. Teaching is not about damaging a child’s self esteem but instead helping a child develop more self esteem.
Some people are just plain jerks and life will expose us to these kind of people and we learn to see them for the maladaptive individuals they are and distance ourselves from them. |
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Member
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#10
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#11
Those do sound like ptsd symptoms but it's best to consult a doctor for a real diagnosis. I'm sorry you had to live through that.
__________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#12
Yes I believe you and I have experienced that myself. I think you did a good job explaining a childhood experience that genuinely hurt you leaving you to re-experience being hurt by that teacher.
When we are young we don’t have the ability yet to understand how some adult authority figures are genuinely lacking in ability to do their job helping a child develop healthy self esteem. Truth is some teachers are actually defective bullies. Bullies lack the ability to consider and respect self esteem in others. And these kind of individuals make terrible teachers and parents. They are disordered malfunctioning adults. Children don’t have the life skills to understand that or even how to react to adult bullying. It’s not surprising you remember how that made you feel. |
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NeedHelp104
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NeedHelp104
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Member
Member Since May 2017
Location: Los Angeles
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#13
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#14
I can believe that as an injured self esteem like what you described can contribute to suppressed self doubt. A child can believe an adult bully and genuinely not know what to do with the self doubt the adult created. Can create future challenges with authority figures.
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NeedHelp104
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NeedHelp104
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Human
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#15
I think if you get the job you should try it. Working might actually help the PTSD versus make it worse. Sometimes the interaction with others and feeling of productivity can truly help.
__________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#16
I agree with seesaw NeedHelp, you are at an age where you are starting to engage in the working world. The best way to work out these old injuries is to move forward in building yourself where you can see for yourself gradually that you CAN do well.
In my time working and teaching children what I learned is that while some students may have learned slower, often once they did they rose above the others. |
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Member
Member Since May 2017
Location: Los Angeles
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#17
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#18
Oh, I definitey understand what you are saying. I myself struggle with ptsd and have had to work through challenges as well.
The thing is, you may end up doing well too, it's important you give yourself a chance. |
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Human
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#19
Quote:
__________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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