FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,080
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,626 hugs
given |
#21
I think I may have found my answers:
6 Reasons Why People Are Bullied at Work Targets Are Skilled Workers You may be bullied at work because you receive a lot of positive attention for your work. Maybe you are intelligent, determined, creative, and regularly contribute new and innovative ideas. Or, maybe you go the extra mile and gain recognition for your hard work. Maybe you even move through projects quickly while others are struggling. All these things attract the attention of workplace bullies. Workplace bullies target those that have talent because they either feel inferior or they worry that their work is being overshadowed by the other employee's work and abilities. Bullying bosses, in particular, will target skilled workers and either steal the credit or undermine the target's work. Targets Are Well-Liked or Popular It is a myth that all victims of bullying are loners and outcasts with no friends or social connections. Often, it is the popular and well-liked workers that are most vulnerable to workplace bullying. If this describes you, bullies believe you pose a threat to their own popularity and social status at work. Office mean girls, in particular, are likely to form cliques and target another woman who threatens their status or social standing. If you are well-liked at work, this could be the reason behind the attacks and jabs at you from the office bully. Targets Are Good People If you would describe yourself as caring, social and collaborative, this may be the reason that you are being bullied. To a workplace bully, these characteristics drain the power they have at work. Team building is the antithesis of what a bully wants. Bullies want to be in control and to call all the shots. So, you may be targeted by bullies because you are a team player. This does not mean you should change your behavior. It simply gives you some insight into why you are being targeted. You also may be targeted for being ethical and honest. For instance, whistleblowers who expose fraudulent practices are frequently bullied by others at work to keep quiet. Targets Are Non-Confrontational or Vulnerable If you are introverted, anxious, or submissive, you are more likely to be bullied at work than those who are extroverted and assertive. Research has shown that if adults work to build their self-esteem and assertiveness skills, they might diminish the likelihood that they will be targeted by workplace bullies. There is also some evidence that depression and other stress-related conditions might attract the attention of bullies. If you are living with any of these conditions, it is important to get treatment. Talk to your healthcare provider about your symptoms. Depression, anxiety, and stress-related conditions should never be left untreated. What's more, bullying will just exacerbate your symptoms. Article: 6 Reasons Why People Are Bullied at Work All these reasons above are true for me.... I also happened to leak out to my former boss that I deal with anxiety - so I showed my vulnerability. And he also knows I deal with depression, because I'm sure HR told him so because HR is unprofessional. So, I being non-confrontational and vulnerable also led to my being bullied at work by my boss AND by another former boss. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: Mars
Posts: 122
4 58 hugs
given |
#22
HaveHope, thank you for posting this information. Every thing you described makes sense. It took a life threatening event to change my view on life. I experienced a lot of trauma and felt negative, unhappy etc. After this life threatening event, I woke up one day and realized no more. I cut contact with family bullies, doctors treating me poorly etc. I gained weight and could not lose it. I figured it was intolerance to certain foods, cut back on sugar, and exercised. I dropped almost 50 pounds. I'm working on dealing with certain situations; fearful, anxious with doctors.
The life threatening event made me realize I have strength. People make insensitive remarks about the event; it use to hurt. I would literally experience a meltdown when I arrived home. My feelings have changed to how dare you, screw you, I did something right- I'm alive. My internal talk-I do not say it out loud to insensitive people. |
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,080
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,626 hugs
given |
#23
Quote:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
|
Reply With Quote |
Christmas cookie
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,080
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,626 hugs
given |
#24
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,362
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given |
#25
Quote:
I think it’s important to help each other at work. We do all the time but I think it’s important to examine why. If we help because it’s for the common good and benefits everyone and it’s give and take responsibility or because we are in a mentorship role etc then it’s all good. If we help others because we don’t know how to say “no” or we want to be liked and are people pleasers then it’s a problem. In my experience certain type of people are disliked and are considered problematic in work environment. Complainers (we have one who threatened to file grievances at least once weekly and was in the office with complains weekly, it was always something). Bad team players (wouldn’t consult with a team and wouldn’t cooperate and wouldn’t care about team spirit, undermined others and only cared about how they come across) . Lazy and unwilling to learn (always ask 1000 questions because they aren’t willing to learn and just want others to answer and do their job, they also never go above and beyond). The ones that don’t accept responsibility (don’t take criticism and nothing is ever their fault). Drama queens or kings (create or perpetuate drama) |
|
Reply With Quote |
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,080
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,626 hugs
given |
#26
Quote:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
|
Reply With Quote |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,362
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given |
#27
Oh ok I thought maybe it’s helpful to recognize those personalities.
I think the way to deal with them is to remain strictly professional, focus on job tasks and maintain appropriate distance from them and not lose your cool. We had someone written up at work once because she just couldn’t handle this difficult person (one that always complains) and lost her temper. At the end she got in trouble for losing her temper in response. I only know she was written up is because she is my friend at work, I’ve no idea if the difficult one faced same consequences If the difficult personality is your boss all you could do is remain professional, focus on your task, keep your distance (when appropriate) and keep good documentation to cover yourself. I think. Not sure. I never really had difficult bosses but I had difficult coworkers. Distance and professional demeanor at all times is the way to go imho |
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,080
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,626 hugs
given |
#28
Quote:
Agreed. Distance and professionalism. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: Mars
Posts: 122
4 58 hugs
given |
#29
Yesterday I was proud of a task. Due to many negative interactions with medical professionals and staff I always assume their anger, snarly attitude etc is all to do with me. I phoned my surgeons receptionist mentioning my swelling, do I need to come in., suggestions. She was slightly snarky and automatic response would be oh no its me.. If the other surgeon at your recent follow up was not concerned its probably nothing. She explained email her photos next week if not improved, she will show surgeon. I did not feel as anxious.
|
Reply With Quote |
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,080
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,626 hugs
given |
#30
Quote:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
|
Reply With Quote |
Christmas cookie
|
Reply |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|