celebrating birthdays alone

PrettyBoy17 · Jul 26, 2020 at 08:13 PM

You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but I still feel sad about celebrating birthdays alone. I try to blank out how I feel by buying some special dessert for the day, but then you see/hear about friends having a "birthday week" and spending time with family, friends, maybe even a spouse/partner and their family...I don't want to look at social media posts too closely. It just reminds how I don't have the relationships/connections that other people do, and it makes me sad. And I also moved away from the city, so I guess this is even more my fault this year. I also feel guilty for wanting these relationships...I always read (even on here) how we should just be happy (actually happier) alone. I'm not sure how or why that is, so that's why I'm here.

lizardlady · Jul 26, 2020 at 08:36 PM

PrettyBoy, I spent the last several birthdays alone. This year I didn't even get a card or phone call f rd on friends. It sucks.

PrettyBoy17 · Jul 26, 2020 at 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lizardlady

PrettyBoy, I spent the last several birthdays alone. This year I didn't even get a card or phone call f rd on friends. It sucks.

I know...I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't really complain as I'll still get a couple of cards or so from family (even though it still feels like an empty gesture because of the coldness and distance in the relationships so...meh) and I'll get some "Happy Birthdays" on Facebook, which are meaningful, but I'd really like someone (or multiple people) to eat cake with or play a game with or just spend some quality time with. Is that a need that most people have or am I just being pathetic and needy?

I guess I could go to one of the bars in town, but I'm still not sure how safe it is to go places alone even though I would think it would be safer in the country than in the city.

Jul 27, 2020 at 08:28 AM

pretty boy, is today your birthday?

if so: happy birthday!.

I don't even celebrate my birthday anymore. I just look at it as another regular day. I don't see myself as a person worth celebrating, anyway.

I also get really frustrated and annoyed if people say happy birthday to me

first: I don't care for my birthday and nor should anyone else

second: the only thing a birthday really stands for is a year closer to death (or at least that's how I see it). nothing to be happy about their

LilyMop · Jul 28, 2020 at 11:42 AM

Happy Birthday!! I hope you did something nice for yourself to celebrate.

No friends or family called me on my birthday this year. I was sad about it. I understand how you feel.

This year is a bad year for birthdays and just about any other celebration.

Did you used to celebrate your birthday in the past? If yes, can you think of some plans for celebrating in the future?

For example, I knew someone who used to put together her own party and invite several people out. She would also give out little party favors. I’m giving some thought to throwing myself a little party next year... provided we aren’t still on lockdown...

Is there anything at all you could plan for yourself next year? It could be something as simple as inviting a couple people over for a small cookout and listen to some music. Even if the people are just acquaintances... I am usually flattered to be invited to an event if if I don’t know the person very well.

Thunder Bow · Jul 28, 2020 at 12:07 PM

I like birthdays alone. So relaxing and peaceful. This year while camping alone at Spirit Mountain I spent my birthday with a homeless man. He told me stories about growing up on a working ranch in Montana.

Christmas cookie · Jul 29, 2020 at 11:47 AM

Happy Birthday! I understand how you feel- I spend birthdays alone. I order in my favorite food and treat myself to a mani/pedi. Yet wish I could celebrate with people. Like raging vortex, I started viewing it as another day. Maybe to ease my loneliness.

PrettyBoy17 · Aug 02, 2020 at 01:51 PM

My birthday isn’t until August 13th. I moved almost two hours away from where I used to live...so there really isn’t anyone I could invite. The county fair starts that day, but going to something like that alone is usually more depressing than fun.

will19 · Aug 02, 2020 at 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy17

My birthday isn’t until August 13th. I moved almost two hours away from where I used to live...so there really isn’t anyone I could invite. The county fair starts that day, but going to something like that alone is usually more depressing than fun.

I have spent many birthdays alone for at least the last 30 years. I would get "well-wishers" by phone and that would be it. I would always feel so lonely and empty at the end of my birthday.

I know exactly how you feel about going to a county fair alone. It's nice and festive, but I would see all couples, friends, and family and feel like an oddball. I just don't bother with it. A good thing for me is that a county fair is a long way from where I live.

PrettyBoy17 · Aug 02, 2020 at 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by will19

I have spent many birthdays alone for at least the last 30 years. I would get "well-wishers" by phone and that would be it. I would always feel so lonely and empty at the end of my birthday.

I know exactly how you feel about going to a county fair alone. It's nice and festive, but I would see all couples, friends, and family and feel like an oddball. I just don't bother with it. A good thing for me is that a county fair is a long way from where I live.

I think I usually end up at county fairs and the state fair because I'm working in some capacity sadly. And that's not going to happen this year.

I feel lonely and empty as it is. Work is what filled me since I lack enough human connections but there hasn't been much of that lately.

will19 · Aug 02, 2020 at 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy17

I feel lonely and empty as it is. Work is what filled me since I lack enough human connections but there hasn't been much of that lately.

I have been going to my job still since the lockdown happened about three months ago. When that happened, a lot of people decided to work at home. It's still that way now. It's very lonely at my job. There were some people I would have great conversations with that are not there now; and I probably will never see them again. Plus I work in a small room all by myself. Also it's hurting my business as they are at home; and there isn't a demand for my work as it was before. Work is the only place I go to where I feel like I am a "somebody".

PrettyBoy17 · Aug 13, 2020 at 10:59 PM

So today was my birthday...I was home alone doing work a lot of the day. If only I hadn’t gotten behind...then maybe I could have not had to do work today.

Aug 16, 2020 at 11:20 PM

I've spent most of the last 25 birthdays alone. I'm so resigned to it i even went alone to restaurants for their free birthday meals twice! At Denny's the waitress felt so sorry for me she wished me Happy Birthday several times. But it was too upsetting so i stopped that. I really felt like a capital "L" loser! Whatever... One year i spent my birthday doing an intake for a day hospital. When the staff asked my birthday and realized it was that very day they said Happy Birthday and that was it for that year.

My birthday is soon and i also feel upset when people wish me Happy Birthday because it means they know it's my special day and they just neglect to do anything special for me. Tho it's dwindled down to a card from a support group and wishes on Facebook so now it's not so bad. It's a very humbling day tho. But because of my bipolar i can't do year-round activities like friendships so them's the breaks.

With COVID this year tho i'm hoping it won't be so bad? No one is exactly having birthday bashes this year...

poshgirl · Aug 17, 2020 at 04:24 AM

It is very sad when the only option, for whatever reason, is to spend what is supposed to be a special day alone.

I'm facing the prospect this year, partly due to lockdown, but also the attitude of family. The reason is well documented on this forum. Don't want to spend time with hypocrites, especially when it's obvious my mother doesn't rate me as a daughter. Then there's my aunt's idea of having my birthday lunch at a shop in a local retail outlet because my mother needs to shop there. Cheap food and drink; thanks but no thanks!

Would be far happier going to local quality food store (M&S) and picking up my favourite things like prawns, calamari, chicken wings. Can then do exactly what I want. Even better that I won't be spending too much as have a shopping survey reward to use there!!

Happy birthday to me

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lizardlady Legendary Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Mid World Posts: 17,479 (SuperPoster!) 21 7,511 hugs given	Jul 26, 2020 at 08:36 PM #2 PrettyBoy, I spent the last several birthdays alone. This year I didn't even get a card or phone call f rd on friends. It sucks.
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Thunder Bow Elder Member Since Sep 2012 Location: Arizona Posts: 5,630 11 3 hugs given	Jul 28, 2020 at 12:07 PM #6 I like birthdays alone. So relaxing and peaceful. This year while camping alone at Spirit Mountain I spent my birthday with a homeless man. He told me stories about growing up on a working ranch in Montana. __________________ www.lightningthunderbow.com
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Christmas cookie Member Member Since Nov 2019 Location: Mars Posts: 122 4 58 hugs given	Jul 29, 2020 at 11:47 AM #7 Happy Birthday! I understand how you feel- I spend birthdays alone. I order in my favorite food and treat myself to a mani/pedi. Yet wish I could celebrate with people. Like raging vortex, I started viewing it as another day. Maybe to ease my loneliness.
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PrettyBoy17 Member Member Since Jun 2020 Location: Rural USA Posts: 52 3 4 hugs given	Aug 02, 2020 at 01:51 PM #8 My birthday isn’t until August 13th. I moved almost two hours away from where I used to live...so there really isn’t anyone I could invite. The county fair starts that day, but going to something like that alone is usually more depressing than fun.
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PrettyBoy17 Member Member Since Jun 2020 Location: Rural USA Posts: 52 3 4 hugs given	Aug 13, 2020 at 10:59 PM #12 So today was my birthday...I was home alone doing work a lot of the day. If only I hadn’t gotten behind...then maybe I could have not had to do work today.
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