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hobbypoet
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Default Aug 05, 2020 at 01:31 PM
  #1
I don't understand why nothing I'm doing is working.

I've changed my life style, I eat healthier, I exercise daily, I meditate and do spiritual work. I even do spiritual studies. I take time for my hobbies, self-care, self-prioritize.

I came out of the closet about my gender identity. Met someone I'm falling in love with.

But I am so miserable, unhappy. Depressed, anxious. I have a hormonal imbalance and it's been slow to get it figured out. I'm on treatment. I take that medication and take my psych meds.

But I'm not doing better. It's not getting better. I'm constantly feeling like I'm falling apart. I had 5 emotional break downs last month. I don't really know what else I can do...I constantly feel overwhelmed, like I'm drowning. I just don't understand because I'm doing ALL the right things but it's not working. I'm even in therapy but it doesn't seem to help.

What more can I possibly do? I'm trying everything.
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Default Aug 05, 2020 at 07:10 PM
  #2
Maybe its time for a med change. Tell this to your psychiatrist (what you wrote here) and therapist. You also said you have a hormonal imbalance, that could also make someone biologically depressed. That's good you're getting it sorted out though.

I'm sorry you're struggling right now. I hope things improve for you.
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Default Aug 05, 2020 at 11:14 PM
  #3
If you like to read/audiobook, check out The Body Keeps The Score. I've forgotten the author's name. It's about trauma and how the body keeps the stress locked in our cells and in every system.

I'm wondering if finding someone to help your body move and operate more efficiently would help. Look for a somatic practitioner who does visceral manipulation. Our nervous systems have the everyday stresses locked up and it can cause problems in our digestive system which impacts the spine and the the brain. I have issues in all three areas. I have been taking psych meds for 15 years! Each med hasn't really done enough. I've been searching for more. More answers. More solutions.

If you are in the USA, our system is broken. We need more access to care, especially for those that are below poverty. A good portion of those who are below poverty don't have access to people like the somatic practitioner I mentioned. In my state, it's not covered. Anyway, I'll get off my rant.

But it's something to try, if you can.
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swflyers28
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Default Aug 07, 2020 at 06:41 PM
  #4
Sorry to hear about your predicament. I have gotten healthier by getting gastric bypass and that really limits how much I can eat. I should exercise more. I have been out for awhile but I haven't met anyone. I don't even know where to start. I've never been in love or a real relationship. I might have been in love but the other person never knew about it and is straight. As far as meds, shrinks and psychiatrists, I have been doing all of that 27 years. I'm low key and a high function depressed person. I'm not happy one second and then extremely down. I'm mellow. I tell people I haven't been happy since I really was a kid or in high school. I have moments but not happy, living life like people do because they have things going on in their life. They have a job, family, friends and what have you. I don't have that. I have an idea where you are, I am here to talk.
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Default Aug 07, 2020 at 10:14 PM
  #5
If my insurance could cover a somatic practitioner...I've never even heard of that, I don't think there's anything like that in my area. I don't even think we have anyone who does acupuncture here.

The truth is, life is hard. I don't know why it has to be as hard as it is. Not just talking about myself, but for everyone basically. I don't know why it has to be the way it is and I'd really, really love someone to give me an answer to that. For why it has to be this way. Why some people find love, why some don't. I've never been married and I'm 34 years old. I don't have children. I was disabled for almost 7 years, losing most of my 20's. Then last year was diagnosed with Grave's Disease and had to fight for my life. I don't know why it has to be this way or so hard. Like many, I'm just TIRED of medical problems interrupting my life and preventing me from living a normal life. Tired of fighting with medical conditions and symptoms.

I'd love to live for a while. By live, I mean, I have fun, enjoy life, go on adventures. Do more. Go back to school, chase my dreams...which I am, it's just a slow process. But it seems like I missed out on so much from being sick and I can't make up for that time.

Anyway. I hope some day it gets better. I hope it gets better before I'm old.
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