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Have Hope
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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 06:54 AM
  #1
Today I have hit a real low, and I'm having trouble snapping out of it.

I lost my job due to COVID, and this week was terrible in terms of interviews and getting any real job prospects.

I am worried about trying to get a job during COVID since the market is oversaturated with so many qualified applicants.

My CEO hit on me during a lunch that we had yesterday. I was really bummed about it. It's just more evidence of the dysfunction of my last company.

A former colleague oddly would not forward my resume internally within his organization or to the hiring manager to help me get a job, and I don't really understand why. He told me to send my resume to a more junior staff member, who is also a former colleague.

Then my husband and I got into a conflict last night. It wasn't like it's been in the past and it wasn't a toxic fight, but I don't feel good because of it. He had made a decision and plans that included me, but without considering my input and preferences, so I got upset since it wasn't the first time he's done this. And today we are more tense with each other. He did not cuddle with me at all last night.

Yesterday I went to the thrift store and bought a cute dress to pick up my spirits. I couldn't try it on though due to COVID and when I got home, I discovered it was far too small.

A package I am waiting for hasn't been delivered yet.. it's lost somewhere in the mail. It's a cute handmade bag/purse I bought from Australia. One of the things that is helping me through COVID is to shop online and buy myself small gifts so that I can receive something fun in the mail and have something to look forward to. Now I don't know when this package will arrive. It's very frustrating. And I know that the mail service is hurting probably due to lower staffing levels.

COVID is frustrating me. COVID continues with no end in sight, and I am home alone today with nothing to do but dwell.

I just feel really down and could really use a pick me up. I need comforting words right now.

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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 07:03 AM
  #2
Can't think of the right words but how about a song:
Peter Gabriel - Don't Give Up (ft. Kate Bush) - YouTube
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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 07:29 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by TunedOut View Post
Can't think of the right words but how about a song:
Peter Gabriel - Don't Give Up (ft. Kate Bush) - YouTube
Thank you.

I LOVE this song. Especially with Kate Bush singing too. It's beautiful -- very appropriate for my state of mind right now.


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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 07:45 AM
  #4
In a partnership, it’s really presumptuous for one to make plans that include the other without checking with them, especially if that is important to them. I often did make the plans, but my h was always fine with it. Had he told me he wanted to be consulted, I would have always. This is a newlywed compromise you both just need to get worked out. I hope you h will learn and stop doing it without it becoming a chronic issue.

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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 07:53 AM
  #5
Thanks, Tisha.

He is still learning new ways to be with me. He can be very.... well, selfishly absorbed is the best way to put it. I told him that we are married now, we are a team, and that he needs to always consider me within plans when those plans include me. He needs to change many of his ways, and I have to say, he's been absolutely hands down amazing with all of it since I mentioned divorce. I know there will be hiccups, and this is one of them. He is still learning.

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Last edited by Have Hope; Aug 13, 2020 at 10:49 AM..
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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 09:07 AM
  #6
You’ve been through a really rough time recently. It’s ok to feel bummed out and frustrated and sad. Anybody would feel that way after losing a job, especially during a time like this. Go easy on yourself. Hang in there.
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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 09:15 AM
  #7
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You’ve been through a really rough time recently. It’s ok to feel bummed out and frustrated and sad. Anybody would feel that way after losing a job, especially during a time like this. Go easy on yourself. Hang in there.
Thank you so much.

I'm talking to one of my oldest and best girlfriends right now, which is helping. Posting here and getting support is helping too.

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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 11:41 AM
  #8
It’s understandable you feel down. It can’t be easy. But you’ll get through it.
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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 11:49 AM
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It’s understandable you feel down. It can’t be easy. But you’ll get through it.
Thanks, Divine.

It's one of those down times I'm having. Sucks, but I'm riding it through.

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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 01:31 PM
  #10
It's been an extremely emotional day for me. I cannot stop crying. I guess I need to just let it all out.

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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 02:29 PM
  #11
I guess there's been a lot of pent up stress and depression. I've been in survival mode for so long, that I think my body is finally telling me to actually FEEL the emotions rather than keep them bottled up.

Abuse in my marriage, a near divorce, a toxic boss and a toxic work environment, then a layoff, and more toxic crap from my last company. On top of COVID.

I've been acting all stoic trying to just stay afloat and positive.

So finally I have crumbled and have fallen apart.

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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 05:08 PM
  #12
Probably doesn't make it much better, but a lot of people are feeling just the way you described in your OP. These are very weird and stressful times, that's for sure.

I also buy myself gifts online and when the package is delayed it's a real let down. It seems the post office is a freakin' mess right now.

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Default Aug 13, 2020 at 06:28 PM
  #13
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Probably doesn't make it much better, but a lot of people are feeling just the way you described in your OP. These are very weird and stressful times, that's for sure.

I also buy myself gifts online and when the package is delayed it's a real let down. It seems the post office is a freakin' mess right now.
Thank you.

Yes, it's a really tough & stress-filled time for most right now.

I agree -- it's super disappointing when that package is delayed... I really look forward to this part of my life right now. It cheers me up. Seems you can relate well to that!

Let's hope for brighter days ahead.

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Default Aug 14, 2020 at 09:57 PM
  #14
I'm sorry, it must be really tough. It's good you are venting to us I'm also stoic but realize its okayto cry and purge.
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Default Aug 14, 2020 at 10:25 PM
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I'm sorry, it must be really tough. It's good you are venting to us I'm also stoic but realize its okayto cry and purge.
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aw, thanks.

I did have a very cathartic cry yesterday - practically all day. It was good to let it all out and just feel the painful emotions I had been avoiding or stuffing down.

Purge is the right word!

Things have been really tough lately, but today I feel a whole lot better. It was a huge release.

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