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Old 09-11-2020, 05:08 PM   #11
jesyka
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Default Re: Why is being sensitive a problem for some people? How can I be less sesitive?

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Hey @jesyka those friends were definitely assholes. I cant stand when people brush off legit concerns by saying someone is too sensitive. Who gets to decide what is too sensitive? How about the person feeling it gets to decide! I am an emotional person and feel things deeply and show it. This means tears of joy and pain, belly laughter and giggles, and sometimes impatience. This does not mean I am "too" sensitive or emotional. It just means that I feel things and experienced something that really affected me. Anyone who has a problem with your sensitivity can go f**k themselves.
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I agree with what you said. I thought at first I was the problem like they told me I was. I think that maybe they were trying to control and manipulate me to a certain degree. Or maybe they were all insensitive a**sholes like you said, lol.
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Old 09-11-2020, 05:10 PM   #12
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Default Re: Why is being sensitive a problem for some people? How can I be less sesitive?

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Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy View Post
I'd like to add that just because you may feel things more deeply than others, doesn't mean there isn't in fact a problem with the way people are acting. I feel like when people say someone's "too sensitive," they're saying "there's no problem here" too, when there is.

Also those people you've had the misfortune of experiencing, were all straight up jerks. They weren't good friends. Good on you for recognizing this.
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That's true. I think that they were all rude, disrespectful, and insensitive. It took me awhile to see their true nature, ugh. I wish I was better at reading people.
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Old 09-11-2020, 05:13 PM   #13
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Default Re: Why is being sensitive a problem for some people? How can I be less sesitive?

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Originally Posted by nicoleflynn View Post
I am also an HSP.....we are in a very small group in society. As difficult as it is to be highly sensitive and empathic, I would rather be like that than NOT sensitive. THe world needs more....of us. My mother said.....You are still so sensitive, I thought you would have gotten over that by now. Isn't that so sad.
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That's true. The world would be a better place if the sensitive people outnumbered the insensitive people out there. My mom and the rest of my family are the same way as your mom is. They also expect me to be sensitive to their needs but they don't usually care about being sensitive to my needs as well.
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Old 09-11-2020, 05:15 PM   #14
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Default Re: Why is being sensitive a problem for some people? How can I be less sesitive?

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I agree that those people were jerks and you were not "too sensitive" in those situations.

However, if you are wondering whether or not you are a highly sensitive person, you could take a look at the self-test here:

Self-Tests The Highly Sensitive Person
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They certainly weren't. I'm positive I'm an HSP. I'll take that test anyways. Thanks.
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Old 09-11-2020, 05:19 PM   #15
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Default Re: Why is being sensitive a problem for some people? How can I be less sesitive?

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Originally Posted by alittlelikemusic View Post
You can take your time getting to know people at a pace that is comfortable for you. And when you do this just make sure you set boundaries and be consistent with those boundaries. Also, practice being a good listener. You could be a good listener already, but people who like to control and manipulate others have a tendency to contradict themselves a lot.

Watch their actions. Do what they say and what they do match up? How do they treat their friends? Their family? Does this person sound self-entitled? For example, do they have a tendency to act like someone owes them something? Do you find yourself drained whenever you spend time with this person? Do they have a habit of trying to pressure you even though you're adamant about your stance on a subject? Do they have a habit of throwing tantrums?

There's lots of articles out there on the red flags of controlling and abusive behavior. Like this one: Controlling Behavior: Signs, Causes, and What To Do About It | Supportiv

Don't be quick to dismiss articles that are aimed toward romantic relationships. Those same red flags can pop up in friendships too. I think you're doing a great job at recognizing this behavior to be honest. You won't always catch these types of people right away. When you do, don't be afraid to put up boundaries or even cut them off or establish distance. Do what's right for your mental health.
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Thanks for your advice. I'll definitely be more cautious with people from now on. I tried to tell them to stop and I said no to certain things, but that didn't work with them. With my MIL, I would pull away from her and try to avoid hugging her since I dislike being touched, but she'd try to touch me all the time which was annoying.

I'm definitely not afraid to end a friendship anymore. I'd rather be alone than with people who mistreat me. Thanks for sharing that link. I'll read it now.
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Old 09-13-2020, 08:22 PM   #16
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Default Re: Why is being sensitive a problem for some people? How can I be less sesitive?

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Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
I agree that those people were jerks and you were not "too sensitive" in those situations.

However, if you are wondering whether or not you are a highly sensitive person, you could take a look at the self-test here:

Self-Tests The Highly Sensitive Person
I also agree, those people were jerks!! Their accusing you of being ''too sensitive'' was their issue (not yours)

Someone saying they have ''no empathy for you as you were overreacting'' to a hurtful situation. Someone, a complete A hole said that to me (supposedly a highly trained ''intelligent'' person..) In reality, a jerk.

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Old 09-16-2020, 02:07 AM   #17
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Default Re: Why is being sensitive a problem for some people? How can I be less sesitive?

I just did the test and got 24 lol, you only need 14 to meet the criteria. I think there are things you can do to help, and managing your environment, being careful about the company you keep etc.

You mention bars a couple of times and I find those uncomfortable places generally speaking so avoid them. Those people sound loud and brash to me - I wouldn't mix with them personally. Finding better friends who prefer quieter environments would probably help you.

It sounds like you were going along with what they wanted? How about you think more about what suits you best?
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Old 09-17-2020, 11:39 PM   #18
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Default Re: Why is being sensitive a problem for some people? How can I be less sesitive?

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Originally Posted by Discombobulated View Post
I just did the test and got 24 lol, you only need 14 to meet the criteria. I think there are things you can do to help, and managing your environment, being careful about the company you keep etc.

You mention bars a couple of times and I find those uncomfortable places generally speaking so avoid them. Those people sound loud and brash to me - I wouldn't mix with them personally. Finding better friends who prefer quieter environments would probably help you.

It sounds like you were going along with what they wanted? How about you think more about what suits you best?
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lol. I met the criteria too. Anyways, I have noticed that some of the bad situations I've gotten into involved drinking and going to bars. My former friends were more extroverted and more confident than I am.

They expected me to be more social as well usually. Their main problem is that they didn't respect my boundaries. I agree that I should avoid bars from now on. Sometimes the people there are to much, weird, perverts, creepy, there to take advantage of others, hit on others, etc...

I wasn't going along with what they wanted as I wanted to go out, have fun, go to certain cool bars and relax with them. From now on I'll not waste any time on anyone who has no respect for my feelings.

If they tell me that I'm 'wrong' for not not agreeing with them, or if they tell me that I'm 'overreacting' to things, then I'll know that I shouldn't be friends with those people.
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Old Yesterday, 01:26 AM   #19
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Default Re: Why is being sensitive a problem for some people? How can I be less sesitive?

My mother's favorite thing to say to me was:"Oh, honey, you are just too sensitive."

She was right. I have always been this way. It is why medicine was a good choice for me. Empathy.
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Old Today, 09:35 AM   #20
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Default Re: Why is being sensitive a problem for some people? How can I be less sesitive?

Another theory I wanted to float was honesty. Most people who are sensitve "wear their heart on their sleeves" meaning we show it. People are not always comfortable with this especially when it hits home for them.
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