I just want to give up!

I am tired most of the time these days and just want to give up. I'm doing ok but the stress and tiredness are killing me. I just want to go home sometimes but don't have anywhere to go anymore. My parents are too old now. So, I am taking it one day at a time now. I feel the blues. I am tired and stressed out from my job and being all alone all of the time. I want to give it all up and just sleep forever. I was feeling ok but the stress from work is making me unhappy. I only work about 20 hours a week. I realize being on one's own is not easy street. I am grateful for all that I have but have nobody to talk with and am all alone here. So, it is hard to survive and be happy with all of my stress. Life is not easy for people with an illness such as mine. I sometimes wonder how I survive but other times realize that I'm just eking by with my illness. I will just grin and bear it, I guess. I think this pandemic and working remotely is making me stir crazy. Does anybody have any suggestions? My psychdoc does not speak English so talking to him will not make any sense to him. I should go out more may be. I am but just eat out or go to the store to buy food. Venting here is making me feel better though. So, hopefully, my feelings of the blues will go away. Thank you for reading!

Is there anyway to switch to another psychdoc because being able to talk to them and possible get medication adjustments is so important? Do you walk in the sunshine everyday--I just did and walking is essential to warding off my depression. Also, are you watching COVID, political, financial news, etc? I find the news quite depressing so if I listen to it too much, it makes my MI worse.

I walked outside and ate out now feel a whole lot better. I also took an extra dose of medication. I greatly appreciate your advice!! I can speak the doctor's language and will talk to him about my problems if they get out of hand. For now, I feel whole again! I guess, stress of living inside without much interaction with others is not healthy for me. I am trying to eat healthy by eating salads and avoiding too much sugar and carbos. I also drank some coffee to pep me up. What a difference a day makes!! The weather is still awful here but just walking fast for about 20 minutes made me sweat and feel better. I will try to go out tomorrow and walk again if the weather permits!!

I walked again and ate a chocolate sundae. I am doing ok!! The stress from my job is still there but I am feeling ok now. I have 20 hours of lessons a week and the demands from my students are stressful for me. But, I will acclimate to it and carry on. Life is not bad. Today the weather is cooler so I am happy.